Relationship
Simple ways men show love
Ways he shows he loves you without saying it and ways on how to get him to say I love you because when it comes to the level of openness and honesty, it’s scarce that the man is the one who is leading that front in the relationship. A lot of the time, the woman is the one who is doing more for the level of communication between two people. Men tend to be more physical than they are verbal with how they like to express themselves, especially in relationships typically.
He listens to you when you talk.
He pays attention to you. He always gives you a safe outlet to express yourself. He always makes it a point to hear you out and validate your opinions.
He texts you randomly to keep you updated.
He always tries to check up on you whenever the two of you aren’t together. He wants to make you feel like he’s still thinking about you even when you’re not physically present in each other’s lives. He always wants to make you feel included in his daily life.
He looks at you as if you’re the only girl in the world.
Whenever he looks at you, you always get the feeling like he’s looking at the only girl who exists in the world. He makes you feel with his eyes just how serious he is about being with you. He wants you to know that he has eyes for no one else but you.
He tries to spend as much time with you as possible.
He may have other things going on in his life, but he always makes it a point to spend lots of time with you. He wants you to know just how important you are to him. He understands that time is the single most valuable thing he could ever give you.
He allows himself to be vulnerable to you.
He understands that the bulk of being able to make a relationship work is trust. And he wants you to be able to trust him since he loves you so much. The only way he knows how to make you trust him is if he lets his true self out – and sometimes, that can mean putting himself in a position of vulnerability.
He makes an effort to get closer to you.
He is always making a genuine effort to get closer to you. He wants to be bridging whatever gaps exist between the two of you. He knows that the key to a successful relationship is intimacy. And that’s why he always wants to be connecting with you in whatever means possible.
He pays attention to the little things.
He pays attention to the little things in the relationship. Even the things that you might deem insignificant, he tries his best to take note of them. It’s his way of making sure that you don’t feel like he is taking you for granted.
He talks about the future with you.
He takes the time to discuss the future with you. He wants to show you that whatever the two of you have together isn’t something temporary. He wants to show you that he’s taking you seriously and that he sees you as more than just a fling.
He makes you feel like an absolute priority.
There are so many things going on in his life. There are plenty of items that require his attention. However, he always makes it a point to make sure that you feel like an absolute priority to him. He doesn’t want to make you feel small or insignificant.
Source: www.dreamhub.com
Relationship
The role of employment status, wealth, geographical location in divorce
Several research findings have identified factors likely to account for divorce. These factors include (but are not limited to):
1. Employment Status and Income Levels of Individuals
Several research on the employment status of married individuals have identified how it influences marital stability. If the husband is employed, the likelihood of the marriage ending in divorce is low.
The is because, as the head, he would be in a better position to provide for the family’s needs, strengthening the family and increasing their standard of living (Lee, unpublished).
On the contrary, women who are employed are at risk of having a higher divorce rate, particularly when they find themselves in unhappy marriages.
This is because they can afford to be independent and cater for their children (Becker, Landes & Michael, 1977; Oppenheimer, 1997; Sayer & Bianchi, 2000). Moore’s (1994) argument also supports the fact that women’s divorce risks increase as they find themselves in highly time-demanding occupations outside the home. This is because they might be unable to devote ample time to their spouses and children.
Despite these findings, I know of a good number of women who are doing their best to maintain some balance between their married life and their work. I highly commend such women for their extra efforts on behalf of their families.
2. Wealth
Research shows that the individuals’ wealth status could either increase or decrease the probability of divorce. Some scholars (Kurderk, 1993 and Rootalu, 2010) indicated that when individuals are more affluent and wealthy, marriage stability is compromised because couples could easily afford the costs involved in the divorce process.
Others also suggest that individuals who are not wealthy (especially women) are at lower risk of divorce than more prosperous women (Ambert, 2002).
3. Geographical Location or Type of Residential Place
Geographic location and its characteristics could impact your marriage’s stability. Several studies on the location of residence have shown that married couples who live in urban communities are more likely to experience divorce than their rural counterparts (Adegoke, 2010; Adedokun, 1998).
According to Takyi (2001) and Moore (1994), urbanisation undermines African marriages.
Characteristics dominant in urban communities, such as the preference for conjugal union over the extended family and the increasing number of women in restrictive and time-consuming employment setups, have been argued to weaken the foundation of families and marriages.
This is because the conjugal family type does not allow for the involvement of other extended family members except for the immediate family (nuclear family). The immediate family is mainly made up of the married couple and their children; hence, there is less opportunity for the involvement of other members of the other family.
Indeed, it matters a lot how much your in-laws are involved in your marriage (in a healthy way, without much interference).
Modernisation in Africa is destroying the benefits that could have been derived from couples’ healthy relationships with the extended family.
Oppong (1992) supported this argument that African modernisation has led to the type of urbanisation, encouraging wide separation from extended families. Unfortunately, urbanisation supports an individualistic living arrangement (devoid of considerations for other families).
It is not surprising that a good number of researchers confirm that urban divorce rates exceed rural areas’ rates.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “PREPARING FOR A HAPPY AND FULFILLING MARRIAGE: Everything You Need to Know Before You Say ‘I Do’” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
When the tides change (Pt. 2)
Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.
But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!
Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!
Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.
Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed.
Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.
Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.
A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!
Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.
Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.
Until next time, keep your ears open.
With Eyram, the Tale bearer.
