The aged

Grey hair is an honour from God, says my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, whose moustache the world ad­mires. Unfortunately, his moustache is not grey. However, my dear, uncle who is a petty bourgeoisie is greying at the temples, which according to him is a sign of wisdom, reverence and honour. To me, it is also an indication that he is gradually nearing ‘home’ to render a comprehensive account of his life to his Creator.

Indeed, the principles of account­ability and probity transcend grey hairs and moustache, and wind up in St Peter’s Heaven.

Anyone who is getting close to the age of 60 can rightly claim the grey hair status. But in Sikaman for in­stance, to be a living member of the grey hair fraternity is a privilege and not a right. This is because the aver­age life span of humans today is 49 years, and the average in Third World countries is much lower. Poverty alone can kill you at 27.

It is also of interest to note that journalists have the lowest average lifespan vis- a-vis other professional groups, according to a proven re­search.

In any case, the human species are better off than insects and animals. A mosquito lives for only six days and decides to call it quits. Most birds live for five years; and when a dog lives up to 10 years, it automatically becomes a liberal democrat. Why? Because it becomes so weak that it can no longer be a leftist watchdog of its master’s home. The poor dog becomes rather liberal to thieves and burglars.

So is it with human beings who clock 65 and above, especially when they have not eaten good for over six decades. According to the Bible, the human limit which has been divinely decreed is three score and 10, that is, 70. This appears discriminatory when we consider that Methuselah for instance lived for 969 years before agreeing to die.

CURSE

Back to Sikaman, anyone who flies past the age of 65 is considered an old- man (woman) whether he is well- nourished or takes ‘quarter’ on a regular basis.

To many, however, to be called an old person is rather a curse than a blessing. And of course nobody wants to be a pensioner for obvious reasons. So you see workers who are clearly over 70 years claiming to be 50 just to avoid retirement and its associated mon­ey palaver. But somehow, they are justified.

Fact is that, these days, nobody cares for the aged, and so they have to care for themselves. It was the quest to avoid this unfortunate situation that the HelpAge Ghana was formed last year as a voluntary organisation aimed at promoting the well-being of the aged and ageing in Sikaman.

When the second HelpAge Week was launched last weekend, I felt so sad to see on television, old men and wom­en, some of whom could hardly work their rickety heels to help themselves about. Some really had to be assisted to walk.

HelpAge has come so timely, at a time when no one respects or cares for the aged. In times’ past, old folks were regarded as useful mem­bers of the society, imparting knowl­edge and wisdom to the younger generation, telling Ananse stories to enliven the evenings of little children.

But today, old people are regard­ed as nuisance. They are accused of being talkatives, always complaining of kooko, waist-pains, constipation, diarrhea, chronic catarrh and lack of good diet.

Their physical and mental infirmities associated with senescence, coupled with the high cost of fending for them, makes them unwanted in a rat-race society where man must live by sweet.

Some people really want their aged relatives to die quickly to relieve them of the burden of caring for them. They can’t afford to be feeding them every day like that! So unfortu­nate.

PROBLEMS

In the developed countries, how­ever, because of problems that go with caring for the elderly in society, homes for the elderly are established in many communities, where the aged can live comfortably to enjoy their last days on earth. They are cared for, nourished and entertained.

In fact, there is a branch of med­icine called GERONTOLOGY which is concerned with the processes of growing old, and there is what we call (GERIATRICS) which is the med­ical care of old people. Scholars are specialise in these fields because their society cares for the welfare of the aged.

HelpAge Ghana is a laudable idea and Sikaman natives must be awak­ened to their responsibility to the elderly. Those who also handle their pension claims must avoid the un­necessary delays. I remember, my old man had to go up and down for months before he was put on his right­ful scale.

Now, instead of wishing our aged mothers, fathers and grand-parents to die so that we can get enough money to drink beer, let us contribute to Hel­pAge Ghana to get it firmly instituted.

That way when we are lucky to reach the three score and ten mark, we could also benefit from it. No one knows what the future has in store.

Sometime last year, I was privileged to attend a get-together of pensioners of UAC and management staff at the Ambassador Hotel. I am not a pension­er though. It was quite an interesting scene to see old men and women all over chatting animatedly, and remi­niscing their good old days.

I was also quite impressed with how some of them attended to the gin, brandy and beer at the reception.

In contrast to this, it is so pathetic to see many old people in the capital of Sikaman begging for money to buy kenkey. They look dirty and unkempt carrying aloft their grey hairs. Let us find a means of helping out these elderly folks so that when our turn comes the good old Lord will have mercy upon us.

This article was first written was on Saturday October 6, 1990

 I had a call from my daughter and addressing me in her rather unusual but affec­tionate way, by my official name as usual, she greeted me and asked about how I was doing and I responded and we exchanged the usual pleasant­ries.

Then her next statement caused my heart to start pounding. She said “Daddy, I am going out on a date.” This is one of the moments every parent becomes filled with anxiety. It is just like when your adult child comes to tell you that “I have met someone I would like to marry”.

I then started asking about when she met him, how long she had known him etc. Then she said “Daddy, I am just pulling a prank on you” and I heaved a sigh of relief. Every parent will tell you that one of their fears is who their chil­dren will marry in future.

Fear of the unknown, is the issue that brings the anxi­ety. Will this man be a good husband to my daughter? Is there a terrible hereditary disease in his family? What are his parents like and would they be caring in-laws to my daughter etc. etc.

Most parents do not worry too much when their child is a man as opposed to a female child. Furthermore, boys do not bring pregnancy home so if they go out and come home late, parents do not worry too much compared to when Maggie or Agatha or Lucy goes out and comes home late.

Our culture makes it easier for men to opt out of rela­tionships so parents do not worry too much when a male children come to introduce their would-be spouses to them and there is no need to add that spouse here refers to a female, since our culture does not tolerate the insane antisocial behaviour affect­ing some societies including African ones.

Marriage must be between a male and a female, a man and a woman, as God who institut­ed and ordained it. The girls fall in love easily compared to the boys who mostly walk into love. I have not conducted a survey but I strongly believe that females suffer from heartbreaks more than males because of their emotional nature.

Another dimension to this anxiety of parents is the issue of mental problems which in some instances can lead to suicidal tendencies. Mental cases resulting from mental breakdowns abound in our communities and the victims are mostly female.

A woman I met while walk­ing with a friend was a victim of a mental breakdown. The friend I was walking with, ex­changed pleasantries with the said lady and it was apparent that they knew each other very well.

My friend, after we had parted company with the woman, narrated how her husband was engaged in womanising which compelled the woman to take a revenge on him.

She decided that the best way to also hurt her hus­band’s feelings was to have an affair with the husband’s driver. The affair became known to the husband and she was divorced. The dress she was wearing and her general appearance when we met her on the street showed clearly that all was not well mentally with her.

It was so sad and as a parent I started praying into the future of my children that they would get the right partners, God-fearing people to marry.

Another anxiety of parents is the character of their chil­dren’s life partners. Would they be kind people? Will they be people with bad tempers? Will they be wife beaters?

Domestic abuse is common in our society and you will be surprised at the calibre of the perpetrators. Some are well educated people, nicely dressed, when you meet them in public places you will never suspect that they are wife beaters.

Some are even pastors and yet they ignore the teachings of the Bible and maltreat their spouses. It is not only men who abuse their spouses but some women are abusers as well.

May God grant us and our children the gift of spirit of discernment so our children will make the right choices for us to also endorse.

By Laud Kissi-Mensah