Features
The anxiety of parents
I had a call from my daughter and addressing me in her rather unusual but affectionate way, by my official name as usual, she greeted me and asked about how I was doing and I responded and we exchanged the usual pleasantries.
Then her next statement caused my heart to start pounding. She said “Daddy, I am going out on a date.” This is one of the moments every parent becomes filled with anxiety. It is just like when your adult child comes to tell you that “I have met someone I would like to marry”.
I then started asking about when she met him, how long she had known him etc. Then she said “Daddy, I am just pulling a prank on you” and I heaved a sigh of relief. Every parent will tell you that one of their fears is who their children will marry in future.
Fear of the unknown, is the issue that brings the anxiety. Will this man be a good husband to my daughter? Is there a terrible hereditary disease in his family? What are his parents like and would they be caring in-laws to my daughter etc. etc.
Most parents do not worry too much when their child is a man as opposed to a female child. Furthermore, boys do not bring pregnancy home so if they go out and come home late, parents do not worry too much compared to when Maggie or Agatha or Lucy goes out and comes home late.
Our culture makes it easier for men to opt out of relationships so parents do not worry too much when a male children come to introduce their would-be spouses to them and there is no need to add that spouse here refers to a female, since our culture does not tolerate the insane antisocial behaviour affecting some societies including African ones.
Marriage must be between a male and a female, a man and a woman, as God who instituted and ordained it. The girls fall in love easily compared to the boys who mostly walk into love. I have not conducted a survey but I strongly believe that females suffer from heartbreaks more than males because of their emotional nature.
Another dimension to this anxiety of parents is the issue of mental problems which in some instances can lead to suicidal tendencies. Mental cases resulting from mental breakdowns abound in our communities and the victims are mostly female.
A woman I met while walking with a friend was a victim of a mental breakdown. The friend I was walking with, exchanged pleasantries with the said lady and it was apparent that they knew each other very well.
My friend, after we had parted company with the woman, narrated how her husband was engaged in womanising which compelled the woman to take a revenge on him.
She decided that the best way to also hurt her husband’s feelings was to have an affair with the husband’s driver. The affair became known to the husband and she was divorced. The dress she was wearing and her general appearance when we met her on the street showed clearly that all was not well mentally with her.
It was so sad and as a parent I started praying into the future of my children that they would get the right partners, God-fearing people to marry.
Another anxiety of parents is the character of their children’s life partners. Would they be kind people? Will they be people with bad tempers? Will they be wife beaters?
Domestic abuse is common in our society and you will be surprised at the calibre of the perpetrators. Some are well educated people, nicely dressed, when you meet them in public places you will never suspect that they are wife beaters.
Some are even pastors and yet they ignore the teachings of the Bible and maltreat their spouses. It is not only men who abuse their spouses but some women are abusers as well.
May God grant us and our children the gift of spirit of discernment so our children will make the right choices for us to also endorse.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
Features
Mysteries of this world
A young boy was travelling on a school trip to Mountain Afadja and his younger brother asked him to buy him meat pie when returning home from the journey. On their way back to Accra, he saw a vendor with meat pie and he moved quickly towards the front of the vehicle to buy one through the window.
A few seconds later, a vehicle smashed into the back of the bus where he was moments before and the aftermath was a disaster. His desire to honour his promise to his younger brother, saved him from death.
A lot of the students at the rear area of the bus died. Such is life and certain things are inexplicable. What made him see the meat pie vendor and leave the back seat towards the front of the bus, moments before the heavy truck crashed into the rear of the bus?
There are happenings in life that does not simply make sense and if you try to apply logical reasoning to them, they fail to explain why what happened.
Recently a young man who was working at a construction site decided to stop work briefly to get something to eat. On his way returning back, the whole three story building that he was working in had completely collapsed with a couple of his colleagues under the rubble.
Again the question is, why did he not delay his going out of the building for a few minutes which would have made him a victim of the incident? No logical explanation to this.
A cousin of mine was living in Takoradi during the early days of the 31st December revolution. One morning on his way to work, he was stopped by a soldier holding a gun and he told my cousin to get unto a truck parked by the roadside, ostensibly to join others already onboard to go do some job.
He was annoyed by someone just ordering him simply because he had authority. He brushed the gun aside and went past the truck heading towards his shop. According to him he heard behind him a gun being clocked and then he heard a soft voice telling him not to look back but continue along. He then hear people shouting “oh, oh” but he did not turn around to look back.
The place was a short distance from his refrigeration repair shop so he soon reached his shop. A few minutes after sitting down in front of his shop, people came rushing to him enquiring where he got his ‘power’ from. He asked them what they were talking about and they told him that the soldier clocked his gun to shoot him but as he suddenly started collapsing unto the ground.
This led them to believe that my cousin have some kind of juju powers, hence they asked him where he went for spiritual fortification. The intriguing question is, whose voice did he hear ordering him not to look back? It still baffles him up to this day.
The June 3rd disaster is another instance of a deliverance from certain death that my brother-in-law experienced. That afternoon he had gone to buy items for his JHS 3 son and as usual when going home, had gone to a store where he has some friends to chat with them for a while before going home.
After some few minutes, he decided to go home since he had been drenched by the drizzling that came after the earlier heavy rainfall. When he got home about 35 minutes later, he switched on the TV and a fire disaster that has burnt people to death as well as destroyed a fuel station, vehicles and buildings near the filling station, including the store where he had stopped to chat a short while ago. A voice had convinced him to leave the place and that was what saved him.
Being a Christian, I would attribute it to God but why he choose to deal with certain individuals and deliver them and the criteria for selection, is a mystery
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
Features
Navigating your emotional landscape: A journey of self-discovery and healing
Introduction
Our emotional landscape is a vast and intricate terrain, shaped by our experiences, thoughts, beliefs, and memories. It’s a world where our emotions, both conscious and unconscious reside, influencing our relationships, decisions, and overall well-being.
In this article, we’ll explore the concept of the emotional landscape, its components, and how understanding it can lead to greater self-awareness, emotional regulation, and healing.
The components of the emotional landscape
Our emotional landscape consists of various regions, each representing a different emotional state. These regions are shaped by our:
– Life experiences: Trauma, relationships, and significant events.
– Thoughts and beliefs: Positive or negative self-talk.
– Emotions: Joy, sadness, anger, fear, and more.
– Memories: Happy, painful, or neutral.
– Coping mechanisms: Healthy or unhealthy strategies for managing emotions.
Exploring your emotional landscape
To navigate your emotional landscape, start by:
– Identifying emotional patterns and triggers.
– Recognising areas for growth and healing.
– Developing emotional awareness and regulation.
– Cultivating self-compassion and acceptance.
Benefits of understanding your emotional landscape
By exploring and understanding your emotional landscape, you can:
– Gain greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
– Develop more effective coping mechanisms.
– Improve relationships and communication.
– Enhance emotional resilience and well-being.
– Unlock personal growth and transformation.
Conclusion
Navigating your emotional landscape is a journey of self-discovery and healing. By understanding the components of your emotional landscape and exploring its regions, you can gain a deeper connection with yourself and develop a more authentic, wholehearted existence.
Remember, your emotional landscape is unique and ever-changing, and embracing its complexities can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
BY ROBERT EKOW GRIMMOND-THOMPSON
