Features
The comedy and tragedy of valentine’s day
As a rule, school boys over 14 years of age in the past, learnt how to write love letters, because it saved them the embarrassment and shock if their love proposals were rejected. They normally waited patiently for the girls to reply to the carefully worded letters.
If no reply was received after two weeks, it meant the proposal had been turned down since it could no longer be receiving attention. It could also mean that the girl had been advised by her mates to send the love letter to the headmaster. It showed that she was prepared to reserve her virginity.
When a headmaster receives such letter, he is both glad and sad at the same time. He is glad because some bad boy has been identified and a good example was going to be made of him to serve as a deterrent to other erring lads or potential miscreants.
MESSAGE
The headmaster becomes sad because of the quality of love letter sitting on his desk. He reads the letter three times over and cannot believe that a 15 year-old boy can craft such a wonderful message, so brilliantly, so immaculately. Jesus Christ!
He himself could never conjure such words from imagination irrespective of the girth of his knowledge in English composition, vocabulary, diction and syntax.
What even amazes the headmaster is that the offending boy in normally block-head, so daft that he cannot form a single sentence in English without committing grammatical suicide.
Yet he could compose a love letter in Oxford English, the kind of English which the Queen of England would be jealous of.
The headmaster would wonder whether love indeed inspires and turn idiots and block-heads into professional wordsmiths. He must investigate how a 15 year-old boy with no brains whatsoever can pen a love-letter that could touch the heart of any lady who reads it? The most committed nun would not fail to be impressed.
He reads the letter once again and notes the descriptive prowess of the writer, his narrative drive, his literary grandiloquence. He describes his lover’s beauty in terms unimaginable.
After the head master’s investigation, he realises that the letter is a stereotype circulating among the boys. The origin of the author is quite unknown, but the letter is certified to guarantee a favourable reply from any girl to whom it is sent. In other words, love unlimited is assured.
Normally, the girls do not understand what the letter means. It is more tragic that even the boys who copy the letter, often in very bad handwriting, do not know the meaning of the words used, except that they are supposed to evoke love and passion, whichever was forthcoming.
In one out of five letters, a response is received. The girl acknowledges receipt of the letter and adds that she is thinking about the proposal. That ends it. It is a polite way of communicating to the boy that his application has been rejected. No hard feelings!
A might accept the proposal not based on the quality of the letter she received. She accepts because she is also either in love or envisions that a relationship would be worth it in terms of the gifts she’d be receiving from the boy, normally without strings attached.
DISASTER
Juvenile love is normally not sexually, but it can evoke jealously to disastrous extents-two girls openly quarreling over a boy who doesn’t know his left from his right.
Two boys can break each other’s nose over a girl who doesn’t love any of them. It’s a funny world and it is great to be young.
When teenagers outgrow their infant stupidities, their courtships are more purposeful.
They start entertaining relationships that could end in marriage. Those who are lustful and do not have marriage as their goal, court for one-night stands or just for sex whenever they feel like it.
When it is a serious relationship for young man and women for 20 to 25 years of age exchange and on Valentine’s Day, they express love for each other in very superlative terms. By this time they are mature, some in the universities and polytechnics.
In times past, Valentine’s Day was not as important in the lives of couples. February 14 was not a noted day. It came and passed quietly without fuss.
It was when private radio stations were granted licenses to operate in Ghana that Valentine became a national disease.
MISTAKE
It has been hyped and commercialised so much that even secondary school students who used to be very innocent in matters of the heart, constantly look forward to February 14 to either express love, share love or demand sex which they normally mistake for love.
It is really amazing that while encouraging our youth to stay clear of matters that could lead them into unsafe sex, we have over the years glorified Valentine’s Day, openly encouraging people to celebrate the day, and to consummate it with love which naturally ends up in sex.
Before Valentine’s Day, girls start dreaming and boys begin to fantasising about what they’d be doing. They must look their best, spend on gifts and cards.
They even steal from their parents to satisfy their lovers.
On February 14, some boys will escape from the boarding house to go and honour Valentines’ Day. Girls will jump wall to meet them.
Nine months from there, new babies will cry out to announce their arrival into this nation of mysteries and the blind adoption of alien values.
Features
Preventing the brain’s melting point with BOS
The human brain is a complex and delicate organ, susceptible to damage from various factors, including extreme temperatures.
The brain’s melting point, also known as the temperature threshold beyond which brain tissue begins to degrade, is a critical concern for individuals seeking to maintain optimal cognitive function.
Fortunately, the Brain Operating System (BOS) offers a revolutionary solution to prevent the brain’s melting point.
Understanding the brain’s melting point
The brain’s melting point refers to the temperature threshold beyond which brain tissue begins to degrade, leading to irreversible damage.
This temperature threshold varies depending on individual factors, such as age, health, and environmental conditions. However, research suggests that the brain’s melting point is approximately 104°F (40°C) to 107°F (42°C).
The role of BOS in preventing the brain’s melting point
BOS, a cutting-edge technology, plays a crucial role in preventing the brain’s melting point. By leveraging advanced neural interfaces and artificial intelligence, BOS monitors and regulates brain temperature, ensuring that it remains within a safe range.
How BOS prevents the brain’s melting point
BOS prevents the brain’s melting point through several mechanisms:
1. Temperature regulation: BOS continuously monitors brain temperature, adjusting neural activity to maintain a stable temperature.
2. Heat dissipation: BOS enhances heat dissipation through increased blood flow and sweating.
3. Neuro protection: BOS protects neurons from heat-induced damage.
Benefits of BOS in preventing the brain’s melting point
The benefits of BOS in preventing the brain’s melting point are numerous:
1. Prevents brain damage: BOS prevents brain damage caused by excessive heat.
2. Maintains cognitive function: BOS ensures optimal cognitive function by maintaining stable brain temperature.
3. Enhances brain resilience: BOS enhances brain resilience to temperature fluctuations.
Real-World applications of BOS
BOS has various real-world applications:
1. High-performance computing: BOS enables high-performance computing by maintaining optimal brain temperature.
2. Medical applications: BOS has medical applications, such as treating heat-related illnesses.
3. Space exploration: BOS is crucial for space exploration, where extreme temperatures pose a significant risk.
Conclusion
BOS is a revolutionary technology that prevents the brain’s melting point, ensuring optimal cognitive function and overall well-being. By leveraging advanced neural interfaces and artificial intelligence, BOS monitors and regulates brain temperature, protecting against heat-related damage.
Glossary:
1. BOS: Brain Operating System.
2. Brain’s melting point: Temperature threshold beyond which brain tissue begins to degrade.
3. Neural interface: Connects human brain with digital devices.
Contact Information
virginvtech@yahoo.com
Additional resources:
1. BOS research: Explore scientific studies.
2. Neural interface resources: Discover books and articles.
3. Brain-computer interface communities: Join online forums.
Future directions
As BOS technology continues to evolve, we can expect:
1. Improved temperature regulation: Enhanced temperature regulation mechanisms.
2. Increased cognitive enhancement: Advanced cognitive enhancement capabilities.
3. Expanded applications: New applications in various fields.
By harnessing the power of BOS, individuals can safeguard their brain health and maintain optimal cognitive function, even in extreme environments.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson
Features
Lotto wahala and Tuobodom palaver
In Sikaman lotto is not a game. It is a profession, a noble career which people aspire to. It is the highest paying profession after armed robbery and the most widespread job on this side of the Atlantic.
In places like China, lotto is a disease that has no cure. Once you are infected, no doctor on earth can cure you. May be Kofi Larteh, Ghana’s most celebrated magician, can help ease the symptoms, but no definitive cure will be forthcoming.
Coming back to Sikaman, lotto has been the financial messiah of many. That is how people look after their large families, pay school fees, marry two wives and do their own ‘monkey things.’
If you are very poor and you win a lottery, chances are that you will die before you even collect the money. You’ll die out of excitement or you’ll start day-dreaming in the streets and an articulated truck will hit you.
As such, very heavy wins are not recommended for poor people, lest they get listed too soon in the obituary columns.
The sad story is told of a heavy-duty caterpillar driver who had a very heavy lotto windfall of several millions, his first big win after several years.
CATERPILLAR
He was driving the caterpillar home when he saw his son running towards him, shouting. “All your numbers have dropped! All your numbers have dropped! He could not believe his ears.
All the four numbers he had staked had dropped and his son, who had gone to stake them for him, was himself over-excited. The poor caterpillar man just could not handle the good news. He suddenly stepped on the brakes and the caterpillar jolted him a trifle too violently, throwing him off. He landed right in front of the still moving heavy-duty machine and it crushed him flat.
I don’t think the bloke would have died if he had won a smaller amount. Sometimes too much cash is not good for the health.
Seldom, people get too confident and that can also result in a wake-keeping, like that of a man who used his lifetime savings and borrowed extra money to crack the machine with a two-sure that the compiler must compulsory drop or the world will end.
Even the shadows of the numbers or their counterparts were nowhere near the winning numbers. His shock-absorbers crumbled under the weight of the heavy disappointment. He crashed to the floor and started foaming at the mouth. He was declared dead on arrival at the nearest clinic.
WINDFALL
Recently, there was a countrywide lotto windfall, and in Kumasi it was more than a festival. Most stakers had between ¢30m and ¢40 million on two-sure that the lotto magicians had predicted at least three weeks earlier,
Kejetia chop bars were besieged with overnight millionaires, carrying huge appetites induced by Opeimu Bitters popularly called Opeimu Peters. All the meat and mudfish got sold out within an hour and procurement agents had to double up to restock.
While some were celebrating, others were weeping and gnashing teeth. The problem was that, three weeks beforehand, the two sure numbers were declared by all the lotto sorcerers, dreamers, magicians, tellers and all the self-appointed and self-promoted forecasters.
Everybody including 10-year-olds, who staked and lost. The following week, they were advised to continue staking. The faithful did continue but the faithless stopped. All of them lost. In the third week or so, a good number of confident stakers had lost faith in the two numbers. That was when the number landed.
So the windfall was for only those who had the unshakeable faith in the numbers. See what faith can do? It can move dollars. Don’t waver, so saith the holy scriptures.
The faithless indeed gnashed teeth. The winners on the other hand celebrated with a song that is as controversial as the business of lotto. It is a song played by the group called Nkasei and has something to do with a town in the Brong Ahafo Region called Tuobodom whose capital we hear is Jinijini.
I hear it is a derogatory song and the queen mother of Tuobodom got charged and breathed out electric current during her protest on air. She allegedly ended up demanding a mobile phone from Nkasei so that she could communicate with them to settle the matter peacefully, lest wahala.
Well, the song is rising up the charts and Nkasei are making the dough, but should it be at the expense of a whole townsfolk, their forebears and generations to come?
WATERPROOF
Waterproof, the famous comedian, was allegedly given hefty slaps at the Kumasi rail station by some Frafra jingoists who felt he was deriding their tribe. And Bob Okala had to run with his tail between his legs when he was confronted and realised that slaps were going to be visited on his lean face.
Let’s not use words and lyrics to cause discomfort to others.
This article was first published on Saturday July 9, 2005
