Features
The crazy life on Sikaman

Half the number of drivers plying the streets of Accra are, taflatse, either mental patients or on the verge of becoming psychotic. If the driver is a taxi cab driver, then believe me, he is not normal.
I have never encountered an Accra taxi driver who has behaved like a human being who cares for himself, much more for others. In any case some trotro drivers are worse.
The typical Accra taxi driver is half the time so excited you’d think he is having an orgasm. Excited about what? Excited about making more money in a very short span of time. In the process, he carelessly overtakes any moving thing including stray dogs.
If a dog will not allow itself to be overtaken, it is promptly knocked down and ran over to teach it a lesson in traffic lawlessness. After all, what is the worth of foolish dog which exhibits the characteristics of a dead cockroach.
Meet the Accra trotro driver. He behaves like a ball of kenkey. He specialises in crossing other vehicles whether or not they are on top speed. He does so because he can afford to endanger the lives of others. After all, isn’t his pocket economy more important than a few lousy lives? And who says “all die no be die?”
What is more terrible on the roads in Accrą is the role of drivers’ mates in the perennial nonsense. The typical driver’s mate of a century-old trotro is a boy or man who has no patience for himself. He doesn’t smile, unless you leave him a large tip. That is when he’ll grin like an idiot.
The mate is someone who is likely to speak and understand seven local languages, most probably Asante-Twi, Bukom-Ga, Ada-Krobo Ewe, Fante, wrong Hausa and pidgin Frafra. Maybe he has ten years’ experience on the job, beginning with a stint at Kejetia, before moving to Bolgatanga in voluntary exile. He’d finally dash south to Ada Foah, Ho Bankoe, Gomoa Washington before winding up at Kokomlemle in pullover as part-time bookman, part-time mate.
In Accra, life is fast, just like in Lagos, so the mate must live like a smart rat on the run. Armed with seven local languages in addition to pidgin English and broken French, he can do any mate’s job satisfactorily.
A mate’s job is not only to collect money from passengers and hide some in his “supporter” for – personal use. He is also the driver’s unofficial bodyguard and also doubles as the vehicles on- board traffic controller. But his main role is to insult drivers of other vehicles when those drivers dare insult his master or refuse to permit him space to misbehave.
A typical insult usually takes the form of obscenity, and is sexual in nature. “Your face is like that of a he-goat on heat.” Or “Onyaa ye…, a typical Ga insult. If the mate is forced to speak French because his victim isn’t responding to English or Ga, he’d alter the metre-band and explode in incomprehensible French. “Il est tojours aimable avec e!”
Verbal missiles
The roads in Accra are indeed ruled by these mates who can really deliver verbal missiles. If a female driver annoys them, they can fire back. “Your body is fine, but as for your face, God no gree. Kwasia like that!”
When the driver is tired, it is sometimes the duty of the mate to take over power. When that happens, the car is bound for the mortuary. Fact is, the mate can be inexperienced and may mistake the accelerator for the brake, whereupon the vehicle becomes obituaristic in character.
I side with the man who keeps on saying that on the roads of Accra, everybody is a mad person, and he is the only wise man.
Of course, private car owners cannot also escape blame. In fact, some of them drive exactly like taxi drivers. Actually, they are taxi drivers in form and mentality; the only difference is that they appear in coat and tie.
Some private car owners do silly things especially when ladies are perched in the front seat. It is like they are in heaven they’d be busy talking, gesticulating, whining, crooning and ignoring traffic signs. You’d see them laughing, moaning and dancing behind the wheel. If the mobile phone rings the situation can be tragic.
Some people can be driving and be on the phone for 30 minutes. A man was on the phone for close to 30 minutes and when he finished talking, he realised that he was no longer in his car but lying naked at the mortuary gate, ready to be hauled into the cold-room.
Mr J.M. Y. Amegashie, Acting Chief Executive of the Vehicle Examination and Licensing Division (VELD) is doing a great job on Radio GAR, giving tit-bits on safe driving almost every morning. Among other things, he gives reasons why you must undergo a driving test and present your vehicle for test examination.
The problem with people is that they think when they can move a vehicle, then they are entitled to a licence. The other day, a learner was undergoing a driving test and when he was asked to reverse the car, it was almost a disaster.
The man reversed the car alright. But before he realised it, the car was breaking down trees in a nearby bush. The man obviously mistook the accelerator for the brake and pumped it hard.
Mr Amegashie doesn’t like that.
This article was first published on July 18, 1998
Features
Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 2)
David rose and opened the door to the spare room. It was neat, as everything else in the house. He sank into the bed and stared at the ceiling. He had never hoped or expected his life to turn out that way.
Until some 12 hours ago, all seemed to be going well. He had already made a huge impact on his students, and the school. He was doing some extra-curricular work which was bringing in decent, regular income.
He had married a great looking, responsible young lady, and they had been blessed with a beautiful daughter. The future could only be bright.
Yet all that had come crashing down. Gladys had been having an affair with her ex-boyfriend, during her pregnancy when he came to Ghana briefly, and over the last few days, when he returned.
He confronted her with the evidence, and her denial was pathetic. It was over. He had pointed that out to her. Over the next hour he did a systematic review of the changes he would make.
The marriage was certainly over. And sadly, so was the Aboso SSS job. He would take a new major step in the next three months. As he was drifting off to sleep, his wife brought Sarah into the hall to breastfeed her. He woke up to rock her to sleep as usual, and went off to sleep.
The following morning, he left early for Agona Nkwanta, and informed his parents about the latest developments. They were devastated, but promised to back him in every steps he took. He got back to school during the first break and carried on with his work.
He stayed on at work till after seven, renewing application procedures for a Master’s Degree programme in Germany which he had deferred. When he got back home his wife’s parents were waiting. His father-in-law wasted no time to get to the point.
“My son, we came here with a simple, though difficult, task. Our daughter has confessed to us that she has offended you greviously. She went behind your back and had, er, an affair, with a young man with whom she was previously in a relationship. She admits that she was foolish.
She says that her actions do not reflect a lack of respect for you as her husband, or her love for you. We are on our knees, my son, pleading with you to have mercy on her, take her back into your arms and get on with your life as man and wife. I have great confidence in you, that a great future awaits you. I’m humbly asking for your forgiveness, my son.”
“You have spoken well, Daddy. I have great respect for you and Mummy. You have been very kind and helpful to me, since I met Gladys. I regret, however, that I cannot be reconciled to her.
You see, Gladys resumed the relationship with Simon when he returned to Ghana some months ago. She was spending time with him at the hotel at a time when, as far as I know, she was carrying my child. And since he returned to Ghana a few days ago, they have continued to spend time at the hotel.
So this is not a one-off thing. It is a relationship. I’m not going to say or do anything publicly, but the relationship is over. I will give her my fullest cooperation to give our daughter the best of care, but I will certainly move on with my life.”
“I have heard you, my son. Your reaction is both predictable and justified. Here’s what I will do. I will give you a little time to think about my humble petition, and I will pray that God himself will touch your heart to tamper justice with mercy, and save this marriage.”
After this, two delegations from Gladys’s family went to engage David’s family to plead for restoration of the marriage, but he was adamant. They continued to live in the flat, apparently as man and wife, but although he didn’t disclose his plans to her, she knew that he would eventually move out. One morning, as they were leaving for work, Gladys issued an emphatic threat.
“David, my parents and relatives have been to see you, and virtually fallen at your feet, begging you to forgive me for my mistake, and allow us to move forward as man and wife, and take care of Sarah.
But it appears that you are a perfect human being who does not make mistakes, and will, therefore, not forgive mistakes. Okay, you can take whatever step you want to take, but remember I also have an option. I will teach you a very bitter lesson, a lesson which you will never forget till you die.”
David smiled and eased himself out.
A couple of days later, David got home to find that Sarah was not around.
“Where’s Sarah?” he asked her.
“Ah, David” she said with mock politeness, “there’s something I need to tell you. You see, Sarah is not actually yours. She is Simon’s baby. I’m very sorry for misleading you. Really sorry. I’m sure that being a young man, you will be able to find a nice young woman who will give you children as beautiful as Sarah.”
David stood and stared at her for a very long time while she laughed herself into stitches. Then he stormed out and took a taxi to his parents’ house. After listening to him, his father told him his blunt, hard opinion.
“My son, I want you to brace yourself for a tough time. It is obvious Gladys wants to punish you for rejecting her. She must have thought out her plan well before coming out to tell you.
You may want us to report to the police, social welfare or what have you, but my feeling is that if you play her game, she will string you round her finger for a long time. Therefore, I think you should call her bluff. Ignore her, difficult as it may seem. No matter how long it takes, the child will come back to us.”
“Mama, what do you think?”
“I agree with your dad. Of course, there’s always the possibility that Sarah will actually be Simon’s, but it is highly unlikely. She has just connived with him to steal your child. Let’s ignore her. She will expect you to confront her and so on, but leave her alone.”
“I will do as you say, Mama and Dada, even though it is very difficult. I will ask her to move out of my house. I will stay the night, and go back to Aboso tomorrow morning.”
There was no evidence of Gladys when he got home. She had cleared the house of virtually everything. David replaced some basic stuff whilst focusing on his next move. He found a replacement teacher for the school, and resigned.
Although, he tried to leave quietly, the students, teachers and parents organised a party for him. There was great outpouring of grief as most people had learnt about the circumstances under which he was leaving. As a token of appreciation for his passion for work, the school authorities named the playground Monsieur Park after him. He left for Germany, promising himself to work hard to put the last bitter experience behind him.
By Ekow de Heel
Features
Migraines: Understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment options
Migraines are a type of neurological disorder characterised by recurrent episodes of severe headaches, often accompanied by sensitivity to light, sound, and nausea.
According to the American Migraine Foundation, (AMF) over 39 million people in the United States suffer from migraines, with women being three times more likely to experience them than men.
In this article, we will delve into the causes, symptoms, and treatment options of migraines, as well as provide tips on how to manage and prevent them.
What are migraines?
Migraines are a complex neurological disorder that affects not only the brain but also the nervous system and blood vessels. During a migraine episode, the blood vessels in the brain expand, leading to inflammation and pain.
Symptoms of migraines
The symptoms of migraines can vary from person to person, but common symptoms include:
1. Severe headache: A throbbing or pulsating headache, usually on one side of the head.
2. Sensitivity to light and sound: Increased sensitivity to light, sound, and sometimes even touch.
3. Nausea and vomiting: Feeling queasy or vomiting, which can lead to dehydration.
4. Dizziness and vertigo: Feeling lightheaded or experiencing spinning sensations.
5. Aura symptoms: Some people experience aura symptoms, such as flashing lights, zigzag patterns, or numbness, before the headache begins.
Causes and triggers of migraines
While the exact cause of migraines is still unknown, research suggests that a combination of genetic, environmental, and hormonal factors contribute to their development. Common triggers of migraines include:
1. Genetics: Family history plays a significant role in migraine development.
2. Hormonal changes: Fluctuations in estrogen levels, such as during menstruation or menopause.
3. Stress: Physical or emotional stress can trigger migraines.
4. Sensory stimuli: Bright lights, loud noises, or strong smells.
5. Food and drink: Certain foods, such as aged cheeses, citrus fruits, or foods containing MSG or tyramine.
6. Sleep patterns: Changes in sleep patterns, such as insomnia or oversleeping.
7. Environmental factors: Changes in weather, altitude, or exposure to chemicals.
Treatment and management options
While there is no cure for migraines, various treatment options can help alleviate symptoms and prevent future episodes. These include:
1. Medications: Over-the-counter pain relievers, such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen, or prescription medications, such as triptans or ergotamines.
2. Lifestyle changes: Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, staying hydrated, and avoiding triggers.
3. Relaxation techniques: Stress-reducing activities, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises.
4. Chiropractic care: Spinal manipulation and other chiropractic techniques may help alleviate migraine symptoms.
5. Alternative therapies: Acupuncture, massage, or herbal supplements, such as feverfew or butterbur.
Preventing migraines
While migraines can be unpredictable, there are steps you can take to reduce their frequency and severity:
1. Keep a headache diary: Tracking your migraines can help you identify patterns and triggers.
2. Maintain a consistent sleep schedule: Irregular sleep patterns can trigger migraines.
3. Stay hydrated: Dehydration is a common migraine trigger.
4. Avoid triggers: Identify and avoid triggers, such as certain foods or sensory stimuli.
5. Manage stress: Engage in stress-reducing activities, such as meditation or yoga.
When to seek medical attention
While migraines can be debilitating, some symptoms require immediate medical attention:
1. Severe or frequent migraines: If you experience more than 15 headache days per month.
2. Increasing frequency or severity: If your migraines worsen over time.
3. Aura symptoms: If you experience aura symptoms, such as numbness, weakness, or difficulty speaking.
4. Headache with fever: If you have a headache accompanied by a fever, confusion, or stiff neck.
5. Recent head trauma: If you have experienced a recent head injury.
Conclusion
Migraines are a complex and debilitating neurological disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. While there is no cure, various treatment options and lifestyle changes can help alleviate symptoms and prevent future episodes.
By understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment options of migraines, you can take control of your condition and improve your quality of life.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond Thompson