Features
The crazy life on Sikaman
Half the number of drivers plying the streets of Accra are, taflatse, either mental patients or on the verge of becoming psychotic. If the driver is a taxi cab driver, then believe me, he is not normal.
I have never encountered an Accra taxi driver who has behaved like a human being who cares for himself, much more for others. In any case some trotro drivers are worse.
The typical Accra taxi driver is half the time so excited you’d think he is having an orgasm. Excited about what? Excited about making more money in a very short span of time. In the process, he carelessly overtakes any moving thing including stray dogs.
If a dog will not allow itself to be overtaken, it is promptly knocked down and ran over to teach it a lesson in traffic lawlessness. After all, what is the worth of foolish dog which exhibits the characteristics of a dead cockroach.
Meet the Accra trotro driver. He behaves like a ball of kenkey. He specialises in crossing other vehicles whether or not they are on top speed. He does so because he can afford to endanger the lives of others. After all, isn’t his pocket economy more important than a few lousy lives? And who says “all die no be die?”
What is more terrible on the roads in Accrą is the role of drivers’ mates in the perennial nonsense. The typical driver’s mate of a century-old trotro is a boy or man who has no patience for himself. He doesn’t smile, unless you leave him a large tip. That is when he’ll grin like an idiot.
The mate is someone who is likely to speak and understand seven local languages, most probably Asante-Twi, Bukom-Ga, Ada-Krobo Ewe, Fante, wrong Hausa and pidgin Frafra. Maybe he has ten years’ experience on the job, beginning with a stint at Kejetia, before moving to Bolgatanga in voluntary exile. He’d finally dash south to Ada Foah, Ho Bankoe, Gomoa Washington before winding up at Kokomlemle in pullover as part-time bookman, part-time mate.
In Accra, life is fast, just like in Lagos, so the mate must live like a smart rat on the run. Armed with seven local languages in addition to pidgin English and broken French, he can do any mate’s job satisfactorily.
A mate’s job is not only to collect money from passengers and hide some in his “supporter” for – personal use. He is also the driver’s unofficial bodyguard and also doubles as the vehicles on- board traffic controller. But his main role is to insult drivers of other vehicles when those drivers dare insult his master or refuse to permit him space to misbehave.
A typical insult usually takes the form of obscenity, and is sexual in nature. “Your face is like that of a he-goat on heat.” Or “Onyaa ye…, a typical Ga insult. If the mate is forced to speak French because his victim isn’t responding to English or Ga, he’d alter the metre-band and explode in incomprehensible French. “Il est tojours aimable avec e!”
Verbal missiles
The roads in Accra are indeed ruled by these mates who can really deliver verbal missiles. If a female driver annoys them, they can fire back. “Your body is fine, but as for your face, God no gree. Kwasia like that!”
When the driver is tired, it is sometimes the duty of the mate to take over power. When that happens, the car is bound for the mortuary. Fact is, the mate can be inexperienced and may mistake the accelerator for the brake, whereupon the vehicle becomes obituaristic in character.
I side with the man who keeps on saying that on the roads of Accra, everybody is a mad person, and he is the only wise man.
Of course, private car owners cannot also escape blame. In fact, some of them drive exactly like taxi drivers. Actually, they are taxi drivers in form and mentality; the only difference is that they appear in coat and tie.
Some private car owners do silly things especially when ladies are perched in the front seat. It is like they are in heaven they’d be busy talking, gesticulating, whining, crooning and ignoring traffic signs. You’d see them laughing, moaning and dancing behind the wheel. If the mobile phone rings the situation can be tragic.
Some people can be driving and be on the phone for 30 minutes. A man was on the phone for close to 30 minutes and when he finished talking, he realised that he was no longer in his car but lying naked at the mortuary gate, ready to be hauled into the cold-room.
Mr J.M. Y. Amegashie, Acting Chief Executive of the Vehicle Examination and Licensing Division (VELD) is doing a great job on Radio GAR, giving tit-bits on safe driving almost every morning. Among other things, he gives reasons why you must undergo a driving test and present your vehicle for test examination.
The problem with people is that they think when they can move a vehicle, then they are entitled to a licence. The other day, a learner was undergoing a driving test and when he was asked to reverse the car, it was almost a disaster.
The man reversed the car alright. But before he realised it, the car was breaking down trees in a nearby bush. The man obviously mistook the accelerator for the brake and pumped it hard.
Mr Amegashie doesn’t like that.
This article was first published on July 18, 1998
Features
Avoiding emotional affairs: A comprehensive guide
Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical ones, causing harm to relationships, reputations, and personal well-being.
They often begin innocently, with friendships or work connections evolving into deeper emotional connections. However, it is essential to recognise the signs and take proactive steps to avoid emotional affairs.
I. Setting boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Define what is and is not acceptable in your interactions with others, ensuring you prioritise your primary relationship.
Communicate these boundaries assertively and respectfully to avoid misunderstandings.
Ii. Prioritising your primary relationship
Nurture your committed relationship through:
– Quality time: Regularly schedule activities and conversations with your partner.
– Communication: Practice active listening, empathy, and open dialogue.
– Intimacy: Cultivate emotional and physical closeness.
III. Recognising emotional vulnerability
Be aware of your emotional state and avoid seeking comfort or validation from others when feeling:
– Vulnerable
– Lonely
– Insecure
– Unappreciated
Instead, focus on self-care, communication with your partner, and seeking support from trusted friends and family.
IV. Maintaining transparency
Share your interactions and relationships with your partner to:
– Build trust
– Avoid secrecy
– Prevent misunderstandings
V. Cultivating self-awareness
Understand your:
– Emotions
– Needs
– Desires
This self-awareness will help you avoid seeking fulfillment outside your primary relationship.
VI. Fostering a Support Network
Surround yourself with people who:
– Support your committed relationship
– Encourage healthy boundaries
– Provide emotional support without crossing boundaries
VII. Practising self-care
Engage in activities promoting emotional fulfillment, such as:
– Hobbies
– Exercise
– Meditation
– Spending time in nature
Reduce reliance on others for emotional support by focusing on personal growth and self-care.
VIII. Avoiding Emotional Intimacy with Others
Refrain from sharing personal feelings, desires, or intimate thoughts with someone outside your primary relationship. Maintain a level of emotional detachment in friendships and work connections.
IX. Seeking help when needed
Consult a therapist or counsellor if you’re struggling with:
– Emotional connection
– Vulnerability
– Relationship issues
X. Staying committed
Remember your commitment to your partner and prioritise the well-being of your primary relationship. Regularly reaffirm your dedication and work together to strengthen your bond.
By following these guidelines, you can minimise the risk of engaging in an emotional affair and cultivate a healthy, fulfilling relationship with your partner. Remember, awareness, communication, and commitment are key to maintaining a strong and resilient relations.
BY ROBERT EKOW GRIMMOND-THOMPSON
Features
Just in time part 3
Esaaba went to her room, closed the door and sat on the bed. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she took her decision. If she was going to have her peace of mind and get along with her parents and sister, the only way was to find a place to rent and live on her own.
She picked up her phone to talk to an estate agent when her door opened gently, and her parents walked in, Esaaba following. ‘Esaaba’, her dad began, ‘we are sorry for what has happened. We are very sorry. But I wish you would understand that as your parents, we mean well.
We want a good future for you. Naturally we are concerned that you have been, er, a little late in settling down with a man. That is why we took the steps we did. We will continue to pray for a solution. In fact, it is possible that Stanley will realise what he’s missing and get in touch again’. ‘Dad, I’m not going to discuss this issue with you again. It is quite obvious that you don’t agree that it is my right, as a right thinking adult, to make my own choices. So I am going to rent a place as quickly as possible and move out.
If I don’t, we will continue to argue over this issue. I’m not prepared to allow anyone, even my parents, to choose a husband for me. And as for you Baaba, let me warn you, never get involved again in any issue concerning me, because apart from being very simple minded, you need to learn a few things in life.
Don’t assume anything’. ‘What do I care?’ Baaba snapped. What do I need from you?’ ‘Get out of my room!’ she shouted. Beesiwa walked out, followed by their parents.
Esaaba decided that she needed space to clear her head. She went to the bathroom, washed her face and brushed her hair and, after checking to make sure that she had her copy of the front door key, went out. The only place she could think of, she thought, was Jackie’s, the open air joint.
It was never too full, and they played mostly soft music. And the food was nice. It was just what she needed to clear her head. She decided against a taxi and strolled down, and took a seat.
She sat down, and as the waiter walked up to take her order she saw Marian Mensah sipping a drink. ‘Hey Marian! Where on earth have you been?’ ‘Look who is asking questions. I have been trying to find you for ages. Where have you been?’ ‘I live some two hundred metres from here. And you know I’m a TA on campus’. ‘I didn’t know that. And guess who has been asking for your number, almost desperately?’ The only person I can think of is David Essel, and apart from the fact that he’s not in Ghana, I don’t think he will want to call me’.
‘Well, it’s him alright. He came back a month ago. He called last week, and said he heard you had gone to do a Master’s programme on a university scholarship, and he also heard you were working with a drug company. But he obviously didn’t know you were on campus, because he would have fished you out a long time ago’.
‘Why, is he doing anything on campus?’ ‘Yes, he’s just got a job as lecturer at the Statistics Department’. When he called and said he wanted to contact you, I teased him that you hadn’t changed, that perhaps you were the same difficult person you were, and he replied that perhaps you had changed’.
‘Do you know what? I really liked the guy, but maybe I didn’t know him well because of the three year gap. Perhaps if he had taken a little time I would have agreed. He is quite good looking, always looking neat, and he had a great sense of humour. And you know, I was afraid of the girls who were always hovering around him. Do you have his number?’ Marian called him, and within twenty minutes David had joined them at Jackie’s. ‘Good to see you ladies. ‘Esaaba, it’s been ages. I thought I would never find you’. ‘Listen, you two’, Marian said, I’m sure it would be best for you if I vanished from here. So off I go. Call and let’s meet, this weekend if possible’.
They ordered food and drinks, and chatted for quite a while about their activities since they last met. David went to Denmark on a PhD scholarship from a food processing company that is well represented in West Africa.
He also spent some time working in the company’s research Department, for which he was paid rather well. Esaaba, on her part, told him about her experiences as a National Service person and Teaching Assistant at her department.
She was hoping to start a Masters Degree programme at the Department, but was also exploring the possibility of getting a university scholarship to study abroad. ‘David, I don’t mind hanging around a little longer because I live close by, but in your case you will be driving for a while, so if you like, we can meet again in the next few days’.
‘Okay, my car is parked over there. But first give me your number. Can we meet in the next couple of days?’ ‘We certainly can. I will be moving from my parents’ place very soon, maybe in the next few days, so I will tell you my location when you call’.
‘Why are you moving from your parents’ place, if I may ask? Something interesting happening?’ ‘How shall I say it? My parents think I am delaying in getting a husband, so they have been putting pressure on me to get married.
In fact they tried to force a guy on me, and it backfired’. ‘O dear. I was about to ask you a question on this topic.
By Ekow de Heer
