Features
The funny side of Ghanaian politics
A couple of weeks ago, I went to collect something from my sister at her home because I left it there when I visited the previous day for a family event. When I got there, my niece who is about five years old was in the yard, so I called out to her through the gaps in the metallic gate and asked her to go and call her mother to come and open the main gate for me, to enter with my vehicle.
Her mother came out and she said, “The man you referred to as ‘Papa No’ is your uncle.” Apparently, she went to her mom and told her that, the man who came here yesterday, is at the gate asking you to come and open the gate for him. Now when you mention ‘Papa No’, it becomes a sensitive word and someone who is politically inclined will either laugh or become offended depending on which party the person belongs.
According to news reportage, the term became an issue as a result of banter between some ladies on social media who were apparently fighting over a sugar daddy. Another lady who was a friend to one of the quarrelling ladies, referred to him as ‘Papa No’.
It was further brought into the public arena and became a topical issue when a popular Ghanaian musician called Sidney, came out with a song entitled ‘Papa No’. Since then, ‘Papa No’ has been trending on social media and has generated a lot of buzz all across the country. The funny thing is that no one has categorically mentioned the name of the person being referred to as ‘Papa No’, who it is believed to be a big shot in Ghanaian politics.
A funny incident recently occurred in parliament, to be specific, last week Friday, when parliament was debating a bill for approval or otherwise, concerning the financial vehicle known as the Agyapa Mineral Royalty Bill to deal with royalties from our mineral sector, to raise urgently needed funds for government. During the debate, the MP for Yapei–Kusawgu, John Jinapor, was against the approval of the bill and forcefully gave his opinion in support of his position.
Immediately afterwards, the current Minister for Information who is also the MP for Ofoase- Ayirebi Constituency, Kwadwo Oppong Nkrumah was given the floor. He eloquently enumerated why the bill must be approved. He then ended his submission by saying that “if the man who just spoke who is a good friend of mine, and Mr Speaker in my hometown we say ‘Papa No’ ‘Papa No’ …”, suddenly all hell broke loose.
There was uproar of laughter on the Majority side amid shouts of ‘Papa No’ and indignation on the side of the minority. The Public Accounts Committee (PAC) Chairman got up to implore the Speaker of Parliament to ask the Minister of Information to withdraw that reference of ‘Papa No’ and when the Speaker appeared not to be paying attention to him, the Minority Leader then got up.
He complained to the Speaker to ask Mr Oppong Nkrumah to withdraw that reference of ‘Papa No’. He went on to further state that if Mr Oppong Nkrumah refuses to withdraw, then the Minority would also refuse to recognise him as the Minister for Information and would also call him ‘Maame No’.
The Majority Leader also got up and said that the Minister was just cracking a joke and should not be taken as an insult or an attempt to demean his colleague MP. He then went on to say that if the Minority Leader is insistent, then the Minority Leader must be made to also retract the ‘Maame No’ reference. Then some drama ensued as the Chairman of PAC who was sitting not more than a metre away from the Minority Leader said that the Minority Leader did not say ‘Maame No’ to which the Majority leader replied “You see how it is?” and added, “If you say you did not hear your leader say ‘Maame No’, then it is very strange.” Finally, the Speaker ruled that these happenings were not new in parliament and that all sides should ignore the comments and move on.
During the period leading to the 2016 elections, a term appeared in the political space which was a reference of one of the then presidents to one of the chairmen of the opposition parties. The term ‘Opana’, became a topical issue and the usual political jabs were being thrown back and forth across the radio waves and social media. Ordinary folks started using the term to crack jokes and during phone-in sessions on radio, serial callers had a field day with the word.
Recently, the name ‘Government Official One’ has also become a topical issue. The NDC mounted a spirited defence when the NPP communicators were suggesting that the ‘Government Official One’ was a reference to former President Mahama. In fact, a press conference was organised to debunk the allegation that the ‘Government Official One’ was not former President Mahama as some people sought to suggest. Up till now, the former president has not debunked the allegations that he is the person being referred to as ‘Government Official One’ in the Airbus case.
‘Domestication’ was a term that became a word on the lips of everyone many years ago, due to its use by the late Mr Dan Lartey who was then an independent presidential candidate in 2008 elections. He became known as Mr Domestication and was all over the airwaves. He was quite a character and a jovial one at that which endeared him to the hearts of many Ghanaians until his passing. He was quite happy that people were calling him Mr Domestication and it did not bother him at all. Just like what we experienced at school, the more you react violently to a nickname, the more it encourages colleagues to call you by that name.
‘Papa No’ has become a hot item due to the attempt by people who are supporters of former President Mahama and who seek to defend him by saying that he is not the person the lady referred to as ‘Papa No’. Till they realise that this is not going away until they stop pushing back, the ‘Papa No’ will continue to be the topic for discussion for a very long time. It also has a nice ring to it and so people are prone to creating fun with it.
The funny thing also is that, it is a word that is often used in the Twi language, and so its use has caught on with a lot of people. Now one needs to be careful in the use of ‘Papa No’ otherwise you can easily be classified as an opponent of NDC due to the highly polarised political environment currently existing in the country, and more so as we approach the elections.
Given the sense of humour of Ghanaians, we have not seen or heard the end of such terms and name calling, and the earlier we got used to it the better.
AVERAGE CITIZEN
Features
Preventing the brain’s melting point with BOS
The human brain is a complex and delicate organ, susceptible to damage from various factors, including extreme temperatures.
The brain’s melting point, also known as the temperature threshold beyond which brain tissue begins to degrade, is a critical concern for individuals seeking to maintain optimal cognitive function.
Fortunately, the Brain Operating System (BOS) offers a revolutionary solution to prevent the brain’s melting point.
Understanding the brain’s melting point
The brain’s melting point refers to the temperature threshold beyond which brain tissue begins to degrade, leading to irreversible damage.
This temperature threshold varies depending on individual factors, such as age, health, and environmental conditions. However, research suggests that the brain’s melting point is approximately 104°F (40°C) to 107°F (42°C).
The role of BOS in preventing the brain’s melting point
BOS, a cutting-edge technology, plays a crucial role in preventing the brain’s melting point. By leveraging advanced neural interfaces and artificial intelligence, BOS monitors and regulates brain temperature, ensuring that it remains within a safe range.
How BOS prevents the brain’s melting point
BOS prevents the brain’s melting point through several mechanisms:
1. Temperature regulation: BOS continuously monitors brain temperature, adjusting neural activity to maintain a stable temperature.
2. Heat dissipation: BOS enhances heat dissipation through increased blood flow and sweating.
3. Neuro protection: BOS protects neurons from heat-induced damage.
Benefits of BOS in preventing the brain’s melting point
The benefits of BOS in preventing the brain’s melting point are numerous:
1. Prevents brain damage: BOS prevents brain damage caused by excessive heat.
2. Maintains cognitive function: BOS ensures optimal cognitive function by maintaining stable brain temperature.
3. Enhances brain resilience: BOS enhances brain resilience to temperature fluctuations.
Real-World applications of BOS
BOS has various real-world applications:
1. High-performance computing: BOS enables high-performance computing by maintaining optimal brain temperature.
2. Medical applications: BOS has medical applications, such as treating heat-related illnesses.
3. Space exploration: BOS is crucial for space exploration, where extreme temperatures pose a significant risk.
Conclusion
BOS is a revolutionary technology that prevents the brain’s melting point, ensuring optimal cognitive function and overall well-being. By leveraging advanced neural interfaces and artificial intelligence, BOS monitors and regulates brain temperature, protecting against heat-related damage.
Glossary:
1. BOS: Brain Operating System.
2. Brain’s melting point: Temperature threshold beyond which brain tissue begins to degrade.
3. Neural interface: Connects human brain with digital devices.
Contact Information
virginvtech@yahoo.com
Additional resources:
1. BOS research: Explore scientific studies.
2. Neural interface resources: Discover books and articles.
3. Brain-computer interface communities: Join online forums.
Future directions
As BOS technology continues to evolve, we can expect:
1. Improved temperature regulation: Enhanced temperature regulation mechanisms.
2. Increased cognitive enhancement: Advanced cognitive enhancement capabilities.
3. Expanded applications: New applications in various fields.
By harnessing the power of BOS, individuals can safeguard their brain health and maintain optimal cognitive function, even in extreme environments.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson
Features
Lotto wahala and Tuobodom palaver
In Sikaman lotto is not a game. It is a profession, a noble career which people aspire to. It is the highest paying profession after armed robbery and the most widespread job on this side of the Atlantic.
In places like China, lotto is a disease that has no cure. Once you are infected, no doctor on earth can cure you. May be Kofi Larteh, Ghana’s most celebrated magician, can help ease the symptoms, but no definitive cure will be forthcoming.
Coming back to Sikaman, lotto has been the financial messiah of many. That is how people look after their large families, pay school fees, marry two wives and do their own ‘monkey things.’
If you are very poor and you win a lottery, chances are that you will die before you even collect the money. You’ll die out of excitement or you’ll start day-dreaming in the streets and an articulated truck will hit you.
As such, very heavy wins are not recommended for poor people, lest they get listed too soon in the obituary columns.
The sad story is told of a heavy-duty caterpillar driver who had a very heavy lotto windfall of several millions, his first big win after several years.
CATERPILLAR
He was driving the caterpillar home when he saw his son running towards him, shouting. “All your numbers have dropped! All your numbers have dropped! He could not believe his ears.
All the four numbers he had staked had dropped and his son, who had gone to stake them for him, was himself over-excited. The poor caterpillar man just could not handle the good news. He suddenly stepped on the brakes and the caterpillar jolted him a trifle too violently, throwing him off. He landed right in front of the still moving heavy-duty machine and it crushed him flat.
I don’t think the bloke would have died if he had won a smaller amount. Sometimes too much cash is not good for the health.
Seldom, people get too confident and that can also result in a wake-keeping, like that of a man who used his lifetime savings and borrowed extra money to crack the machine with a two-sure that the compiler must compulsory drop or the world will end.
Even the shadows of the numbers or their counterparts were nowhere near the winning numbers. His shock-absorbers crumbled under the weight of the heavy disappointment. He crashed to the floor and started foaming at the mouth. He was declared dead on arrival at the nearest clinic.
WINDFALL
Recently, there was a countrywide lotto windfall, and in Kumasi it was more than a festival. Most stakers had between ¢30m and ¢40 million on two-sure that the lotto magicians had predicted at least three weeks earlier,
Kejetia chop bars were besieged with overnight millionaires, carrying huge appetites induced by Opeimu Bitters popularly called Opeimu Peters. All the meat and mudfish got sold out within an hour and procurement agents had to double up to restock.
While some were celebrating, others were weeping and gnashing teeth. The problem was that, three weeks beforehand, the two sure numbers were declared by all the lotto sorcerers, dreamers, magicians, tellers and all the self-appointed and self-promoted forecasters.
Everybody including 10-year-olds, who staked and lost. The following week, they were advised to continue staking. The faithful did continue but the faithless stopped. All of them lost. In the third week or so, a good number of confident stakers had lost faith in the two numbers. That was when the number landed.
So the windfall was for only those who had the unshakeable faith in the numbers. See what faith can do? It can move dollars. Don’t waver, so saith the holy scriptures.
The faithless indeed gnashed teeth. The winners on the other hand celebrated with a song that is as controversial as the business of lotto. It is a song played by the group called Nkasei and has something to do with a town in the Brong Ahafo Region called Tuobodom whose capital we hear is Jinijini.
I hear it is a derogatory song and the queen mother of Tuobodom got charged and breathed out electric current during her protest on air. She allegedly ended up demanding a mobile phone from Nkasei so that she could communicate with them to settle the matter peacefully, lest wahala.
Well, the song is rising up the charts and Nkasei are making the dough, but should it be at the expense of a whole townsfolk, their forebears and generations to come?
WATERPROOF
Waterproof, the famous comedian, was allegedly given hefty slaps at the Kumasi rail station by some Frafra jingoists who felt he was deriding their tribe. And Bob Okala had to run with his tail between his legs when he was confronted and realised that slaps were going to be visited on his lean face.
Let’s not use words and lyrics to cause discomfort to others.
This article was first published on Saturday July 9, 2005
