Features
The tragedy of battered husbands
Women are standing the men toe-to-toe
It is revealing that men are now going to WAJU to report their wives for all sorts of marital transgressions including ball-grabbing. The problem is that when a man fights his wife, he risks damage to his most prized earthly possession – a set of balls.
In days gone by, women were scratching their husbands’ faces. Now, they have grown wiser. They are standing the men toe-to-toe, and when the going gets tough, they grab balls and do all kinds of things to it.
Some men have virtually been emasculated because in a single year they have suffered all kinds of illicit manipulation of their testicles, including pulling, dragging and anything short of toasting. So, that organ of the body has become so violated and it seems only WAJU can save them from further torment.
Now, WAJU is for women and juveniles as the name suggests-Women and Juvenile Unit. It is time men became part of the show, because whenever they report their wives, they are not turned away. They are rather welcomed with open arms and encouraged to tell their stories. Some are interesting:
“I didn’t know my wife was a champion boxer till I reduced the chop money because I was broke. She beat me pasaaa! When I regained my composure and also wanted to dish it to her, she dashed for my-eh- I mean my thing. Oh Jesus Christ! Now, the thing can’t stand up,” a man would narrate to the sympathetic ear.
It is easy for WAJU to sympathise with such a complainant, but going beyond sympathy to ascertain the veracity of the complaint by examining the man’s thing can be problematic. Assuming the nice WAJU lady started examining the man intimately and his thing decided to wake up?
Generally, when a man approaches WAJU to tell his story, it means he has had enough of battering and might end up being castrated.
The fact is that marital castration is becoming one popular means being employed by jealous women to keep their men sober for life.
In Kenya, a recent case is worth reproducing: A 30-year- old Kenyan man with two wives got greedy and cheated on them both, but his fun was cut short when his furious mates found out, chopped off his wee- wee and tossed it away.
When the wives got wind that their skirt-chasing hubby was triple-timing them, they tracked him down to a house in the town of Kilogiris where he was frolicking with a pretty young female companion, the BBC reports.
First, the knife wielding duo vented their fury on his terrified stark-naked girlfriend, attacking her and chopping off one of her ears. Then as the cheating husband tried to run for it, the scorned females cornered him, held him down and gave him the Lorena Bobbit treatment.
The victim was rushed to hospital where he is reportedly in fair condition, though efforts to track down his missing manhood were unsuccessful.
Kenyan police are now hunting the two man-maiming harpies, who took off after taking their revenge, according to BBC reporter Muchiri Kioj in Kilogiris.
If it has happened in Kenya, then it can happen in Ghana. Even in South Africa where rape has almost become a national pastime, it came to a time when some women decided to adopt forcible castration of rapists.
It meant taking the law into their own hands, but they felt the criminal justice system was itself too impotent to deal with the situation.
So in some communities, you can rape alright, but when you get caught, the consequences for you can be tragic.
And I hear castrated men are just as funky as any castrated pig. All they think about is food. As for romance, it is well beyond their capacity and even their imagination.
Now in Ghana, most women are fighting for the passage of the Domestic Violence Bill. They have come up with an idea called marital rape, suggesting that if you pressurise your wife into having sex, to you might as well be heading for Nsawam for a five-year cool-off.
I don’t know where women got that idea from. I guess when they went to Beijing in the 1990s, they had many fantasies and many ideas created to tame the male libido. So a wife can unilaterally declare when she would have sex and plan a time-table copied to her husband.
The husband has no choice but to start nodding like an agama lizard. “Can you please shift the Tuesday event to Monday and Friday to Saturday?” he may plead. “On Saturdays I’m double horny.”
Which marriage on earth can subsist on sex prescriptions and time-tables? Some women see the danger and have called on the authorities to forget the Domestic Violence Bill altogether. They know when the Bill is passed into law that is the end of their marriages.
Now if the Bill should be passed, then it must provide for what is known as Contract Marriages. You can marry for one year on contract and renew it for another year when both parties agree on it.
Man and wife can marry in 2005 take a two-year break and re-enter the contract in 2007 depending on their mood. There will be no need for divorce if the couples decide not to renew a contract. The man goes left and the wife goes right. No court case.
The world is gradually pushing towards a global society where cherished institutions like marriage can no longer perpetuate because they have been tempered with man-made laws as against the law of The BIBLE.
Features
Avoiding emotional affairs: A comprehensive guide
Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical ones, causing harm to relationships, reputations, and personal well-being.
They often begin innocently, with friendships or work connections evolving into deeper emotional connections. However, it is essential to recognise the signs and take proactive steps to avoid emotional affairs.
I. Setting boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Define what is and is not acceptable in your interactions with others, ensuring you prioritise your primary relationship.
Communicate these boundaries assertively and respectfully to avoid misunderstandings.
Ii. Prioritising your primary relationship
Nurture your committed relationship through:
– Quality time: Regularly schedule activities and conversations with your partner.
– Communication: Practice active listening, empathy, and open dialogue.
– Intimacy: Cultivate emotional and physical closeness.
III. Recognising emotional vulnerability
Be aware of your emotional state and avoid seeking comfort or validation from others when feeling:
– Vulnerable
– Lonely
– Insecure
– Unappreciated
Instead, focus on self-care, communication with your partner, and seeking support from trusted friends and family.
IV. Maintaining transparency
Share your interactions and relationships with your partner to:
– Build trust
– Avoid secrecy
– Prevent misunderstandings
V. Cultivating self-awareness
Understand your:
– Emotions
– Needs
– Desires
This self-awareness will help you avoid seeking fulfillment outside your primary relationship.
VI. Fostering a Support Network
Surround yourself with people who:
– Support your committed relationship
– Encourage healthy boundaries
– Provide emotional support without crossing boundaries
VII. Practising self-care
Engage in activities promoting emotional fulfillment, such as:
– Hobbies
– Exercise
– Meditation
– Spending time in nature
Reduce reliance on others for emotional support by focusing on personal growth and self-care.
VIII. Avoiding Emotional Intimacy with Others
Refrain from sharing personal feelings, desires, or intimate thoughts with someone outside your primary relationship. Maintain a level of emotional detachment in friendships and work connections.
IX. Seeking help when needed
Consult a therapist or counsellor if you’re struggling with:
– Emotional connection
– Vulnerability
– Relationship issues
X. Staying committed
Remember your commitment to your partner and prioritise the well-being of your primary relationship. Regularly reaffirm your dedication and work together to strengthen your bond.
By following these guidelines, you can minimise the risk of engaging in an emotional affair and cultivate a healthy, fulfilling relationship with your partner. Remember, awareness, communication, and commitment are key to maintaining a strong and resilient relations.
BY ROBERT EKOW GRIMMOND-THOMPSON
Features
Just in time part 3
Esaaba went to her room, closed the door and sat on the bed. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she took her decision. If she was going to have her peace of mind and get along with her parents and sister, the only way was to find a place to rent and live on her own.
She picked up her phone to talk to an estate agent when her door opened gently, and her parents walked in, Esaaba following. ‘Esaaba’, her dad began, ‘we are sorry for what has happened. We are very sorry. But I wish you would understand that as your parents, we mean well.
We want a good future for you. Naturally we are concerned that you have been, er, a little late in settling down with a man. That is why we took the steps we did. We will continue to pray for a solution. In fact, it is possible that Stanley will realise what he’s missing and get in touch again’. ‘Dad, I’m not going to discuss this issue with you again. It is quite obvious that you don’t agree that it is my right, as a right thinking adult, to make my own choices. So I am going to rent a place as quickly as possible and move out.
If I don’t, we will continue to argue over this issue. I’m not prepared to allow anyone, even my parents, to choose a husband for me. And as for you Baaba, let me warn you, never get involved again in any issue concerning me, because apart from being very simple minded, you need to learn a few things in life.
Don’t assume anything’. ‘What do I care?’ Baaba snapped. What do I need from you?’ ‘Get out of my room!’ she shouted. Beesiwa walked out, followed by their parents.
Esaaba decided that she needed space to clear her head. She went to the bathroom, washed her face and brushed her hair and, after checking to make sure that she had her copy of the front door key, went out. The only place she could think of, she thought, was Jackie’s, the open air joint.
It was never too full, and they played mostly soft music. And the food was nice. It was just what she needed to clear her head. She decided against a taxi and strolled down, and took a seat.
She sat down, and as the waiter walked up to take her order she saw Marian Mensah sipping a drink. ‘Hey Marian! Where on earth have you been?’ ‘Look who is asking questions. I have been trying to find you for ages. Where have you been?’ ‘I live some two hundred metres from here. And you know I’m a TA on campus’. ‘I didn’t know that. And guess who has been asking for your number, almost desperately?’ The only person I can think of is David Essel, and apart from the fact that he’s not in Ghana, I don’t think he will want to call me’.
‘Well, it’s him alright. He came back a month ago. He called last week, and said he heard you had gone to do a Master’s programme on a university scholarship, and he also heard you were working with a drug company. But he obviously didn’t know you were on campus, because he would have fished you out a long time ago’.
‘Why, is he doing anything on campus?’ ‘Yes, he’s just got a job as lecturer at the Statistics Department’. When he called and said he wanted to contact you, I teased him that you hadn’t changed, that perhaps you were the same difficult person you were, and he replied that perhaps you had changed’.
‘Do you know what? I really liked the guy, but maybe I didn’t know him well because of the three year gap. Perhaps if he had taken a little time I would have agreed. He is quite good looking, always looking neat, and he had a great sense of humour. And you know, I was afraid of the girls who were always hovering around him. Do you have his number?’ Marian called him, and within twenty minutes David had joined them at Jackie’s. ‘Good to see you ladies. ‘Esaaba, it’s been ages. I thought I would never find you’. ‘Listen, you two’, Marian said, I’m sure it would be best for you if I vanished from here. So off I go. Call and let’s meet, this weekend if possible’.
They ordered food and drinks, and chatted for quite a while about their activities since they last met. David went to Denmark on a PhD scholarship from a food processing company that is well represented in West Africa.
He also spent some time working in the company’s research Department, for which he was paid rather well. Esaaba, on her part, told him about her experiences as a National Service person and Teaching Assistant at her department.
She was hoping to start a Masters Degree programme at the Department, but was also exploring the possibility of getting a university scholarship to study abroad. ‘David, I don’t mind hanging around a little longer because I live close by, but in your case you will be driving for a while, so if you like, we can meet again in the next few days’.
‘Okay, my car is parked over there. But first give me your number. Can we meet in the next couple of days?’ ‘We certainly can. I will be moving from my parents’ place very soon, maybe in the next few days, so I will tell you my location when you call’.
‘Why are you moving from your parents’ place, if I may ask? Something interesting happening?’ ‘How shall I say it? My parents think I am delaying in getting a husband, so they have been putting pressure on me to get married.
In fact they tried to force a guy on me, and it backfired’. ‘O dear. I was about to ask you a question on this topic.
By Ekow de Heer
