Features
The tragedy of battered husbands
Women are standing the men toe-to-toe
It is revealing that men are now going to WAJU to report their wives for all sorts of marital transgressions including ball-grabbing. The problem is that when a man fights his wife, he risks damage to his most prized earthly possession – a set of balls.
In days gone by, women were scratching their husbands’ faces. Now, they have grown wiser. They are standing the men toe-to-toe, and when the going gets tough, they grab balls and do all kinds of things to it.
Some men have virtually been emasculated because in a single year they have suffered all kinds of illicit manipulation of their testicles, including pulling, dragging and anything short of toasting. So, that organ of the body has become so violated and it seems only WAJU can save them from further torment.
Now, WAJU is for women and juveniles as the name suggests-Women and Juvenile Unit. It is time men became part of the show, because whenever they report their wives, they are not turned away. They are rather welcomed with open arms and encouraged to tell their stories. Some are interesting:
“I didn’t know my wife was a champion boxer till I reduced the chop money because I was broke. She beat me pasaaa! When I regained my composure and also wanted to dish it to her, she dashed for my-eh- I mean my thing. Oh Jesus Christ! Now, the thing can’t stand up,” a man would narrate to the sympathetic ear.
It is easy for WAJU to sympathise with such a complainant, but going beyond sympathy to ascertain the veracity of the complaint by examining the man’s thing can be problematic. Assuming the nice WAJU lady started examining the man intimately and his thing decided to wake up?
Generally, when a man approaches WAJU to tell his story, it means he has had enough of battering and might end up being castrated.
The fact is that marital castration is becoming one popular means being employed by jealous women to keep their men sober for life.
In Kenya, a recent case is worth reproducing: A 30-year- old Kenyan man with two wives got greedy and cheated on them both, but his fun was cut short when his furious mates found out, chopped off his wee- wee and tossed it away.
When the wives got wind that their skirt-chasing hubby was triple-timing them, they tracked him down to a house in the town of Kilogiris where he was frolicking with a pretty young female companion, the BBC reports.
First, the knife wielding duo vented their fury on his terrified stark-naked girlfriend, attacking her and chopping off one of her ears. Then as the cheating husband tried to run for it, the scorned females cornered him, held him down and gave him the Lorena Bobbit treatment.
The victim was rushed to hospital where he is reportedly in fair condition, though efforts to track down his missing manhood were unsuccessful.
Kenyan police are now hunting the two man-maiming harpies, who took off after taking their revenge, according to BBC reporter Muchiri Kioj in Kilogiris.
If it has happened in Kenya, then it can happen in Ghana. Even in South Africa where rape has almost become a national pastime, it came to a time when some women decided to adopt forcible castration of rapists.
It meant taking the law into their own hands, but they felt the criminal justice system was itself too impotent to deal with the situation.
So in some communities, you can rape alright, but when you get caught, the consequences for you can be tragic.
And I hear castrated men are just as funky as any castrated pig. All they think about is food. As for romance, it is well beyond their capacity and even their imagination.
Now in Ghana, most women are fighting for the passage of the Domestic Violence Bill. They have come up with an idea called marital rape, suggesting that if you pressurise your wife into having sex, to you might as well be heading for Nsawam for a five-year cool-off.
I don’t know where women got that idea from. I guess when they went to Beijing in the 1990s, they had many fantasies and many ideas created to tame the male libido. So a wife can unilaterally declare when she would have sex and plan a time-table copied to her husband.
The husband has no choice but to start nodding like an agama lizard. “Can you please shift the Tuesday event to Monday and Friday to Saturday?” he may plead. “On Saturdays I’m double horny.”
Which marriage on earth can subsist on sex prescriptions and time-tables? Some women see the danger and have called on the authorities to forget the Domestic Violence Bill altogether. They know when the Bill is passed into law that is the end of their marriages.
Now if the Bill should be passed, then it must provide for what is known as Contract Marriages. You can marry for one year on contract and renew it for another year when both parties agree on it.
Man and wife can marry in 2005 take a two-year break and re-enter the contract in 2007 depending on their mood. There will be no need for divorce if the couples decide not to renew a contract. The man goes left and the wife goes right. No court case.
The world is gradually pushing towards a global society where cherished institutions like marriage can no longer perpetuate because they have been tempered with man-made laws as against the law of The BIBLE.
Features
Ghanaian migrants and health surveys in Finland
A few weeks ago, I wrote about cancer awareness among Ghanaian migrants in Finland. The piece was a move away from my usual focus on personalities or groups and their accomplishments within the Ghanaian community in Finland.
Today, I focus again on a health issue because I recently chanced on a report about a study to be conducted soon to test the health of individuals in Finland.
The story said that the Finnish Institute for Health and Welfare (THL) will soon (this autumn/August-October) invite 64,000 adults to participate in an extensive survey on health, welfare and service experiences (see https://thl.fi/).
Immediately when I saw that report, my mind went to questions about the participation of immigrants, Ghanaian/African migrants in particular.
The Finnish health system and health surveys
Finland has a very good healthcare delivery system which is accessible to all residents in the country.
According to the report, the THL will be studying the well-being of adults living in Finland and their experiences of health and social services.
The report said the extensive Healthy Finland Survey is carried out every two years.
The invitation to the survey will be sent to 64,000 randomly selected people aged 20 or over from around Finland this autumn.
The survey collects up-to-date information on the health status of adults living in Finland as well as their lifestyles, quality of life, functional capacity, and experiences of social and health services.
Many migrants, including those in the Ghanaian community, are aware of health opportunities in Finland and are expected to take advantage of such prospects.
When I saw the report, the question that kept coming to my mind was how Ghanaian migrants could become aware of such a survey and participate in it. I hope they will be lucky enough to fall within those randomly selected. I urge those selected to take the survey seriously and participate actively.
A healthy migrant community
A healthy migrant community is important and beneficial to the host society as a whole. As I have said previously, in Finland public agencies, migrant associations and other non-governmental organisations (NGOs) have been giving health information through various channels— webinars, mass media (radio, TV, as well as the new media and others), etc. Such actions are very helpful to people.
Indeed the social media outlets have become an important means for disseminating information and would be a key medium through which migrant groups or associations and other institutions could educate people.
Generally, migrant associations create awareness among their members and other migrants, usually in collaboration with some Finnish institutions, and are thus an important tool for several migrants to be positively active and to get their interest and concerns heard.
As I wrote previously, the role of migrant associations acting as bridge-builders for the integration and inclusion of migrants through participation in the decision making process and by acting as a representative voice is highly appreciated in Finland.
A positive outlook
Ghanaian and other African migrants in Finland are generally keeping a positive mind and hoping for the best in life.
They know that the Finnish healthcare system, one of the best in the world, has a comprehensive healthcare service that caters for every resident in the country.
I hope this trust in the Finnish health system by arguably many migrants can be translated into the migrants seeing the need to participate actively in surveys to help improve immigrants’ health statuses.
Migrants know that as residents they can count on and readily access good healthcare service delivery in Finland. All they need to do is to go for regular medical checks and participate in such health surveys so that their health statuses can be known and action taken without delay if there is any problem that is identified. Thank you!
GHANA MATTERS COLUMN
With Dr Perpetual Crentsil
Features
Just in time –Part 2
A couple of weeks later, Esaaba left home later than usual, and stopped by his service centre on her way to work. He smiled with surprise, but she noted that he was not exactly thrilled to see me.
‘I thought you would be at work by now,’ he said. ‘Yes, normally I would. But I decided to wait so that I could stop by and see you.’ ‘Thanks a lot. I appreciate that. Do come in.’ They walked past the several cars with their bonnets open, young men busy at work, and they responded to her greeting.
They entered his office, a medium sized air-conditioned room with a laptop computer on the desk, a fridge, and a shelf behind his desk with files and manuals. There was also a big open cupboard with what I guessed were spare parts. ‘So, you are welcome. Would you like some tea?’
‘No thanks. I already had breakfast. Actually, I won’t be more than a few minutes.’ ‘Okay. So, now you know where I work. You already know that I service German cars.
Most of my customers are owners of Mercedes, BMW and Golf. I get several others but these three are the main ones. I’ve been here two years, and I’m getting busier every week.’ ‘Glad to hear that. Good to know that you are finding your work productive.’
‘Well, yes, except that sometimes Ghanaian customers are a little difficult. I’m used to working with time and precision. Everything I do here is IT oriented, but our people are a little slow when it comes to technology. And when it comes to the staff, that’s a whole big issue. It’s often difficult to get them to understand simple processes.
You have to keep saying the same thing over and over again, until they get it. And I think Ghanaians are lazy. You have to virtually push them to work. Sorry, I shouldn’t be complaining like this to you, certainly not on your first visit’. ‘Of course it’s fine.
These are real everyday issues you can’t ignore. But I’m sure that as time goes on, you are developing your own mechanisms of dealing with people, even difficult customers and employees. Eventually you will win them over.’ ‘Well, I hope so. Sometimes it’s very difficult. Anyway, so how do you normally get to work?’
‘There’s a taxi rank just some fifty metres away from here. The taxi drops me very close to my department. And it’s the same coming back home. So I don’t have any transport issues’.
‘Okay, let me see you off before it gets too late.’
He saw her off and wished her a good day, and as she walked to join the taxi she reflected on her impressions of him at work. It was good to know that he was doing something productive, but while she understood that his German education and training inclined him towards punctuality and efficiency, she thought that anyone working in our environment, especially a Ghanaian, should find a way to handle customers and employees.
Customers would flock to you if they knew that you were efficient and punctual, so that could be an advantage. And employees could always be trained to work the way the employer wanted, depending on the motivation and the style used. Those were her early impressions, but she was quite willing to give Stanley time to come across with his plans for the future.
Some two months after he proposed, he had not said anything else. They met as usual and chatted over all manner of things, but he avoided the relationship issue. Esaaba started thinking of dropping hints about the subject, but one morning he stopped by the house as she was about to leave for work, and announced that he was going to Germany ‘for a few months.’
He was going to prepare to fully settle back in Ghana. He apologised for not informing her earlier, but he had had to take the decision in a hurry. He would call regularly, of course, and discuss everything’ then he was gone.
He called some three days after he arrived in Germany, and promised to call regularly. He honoured his promise, and called for a couple of months, mostly to talk about the two German brothers he was working with.
They had a great working relationship, and he hoped to get them interested in investing in Ghana. He believed that in spite of the challenges, Ghana was a very viable place to invest, and he was going to work hard to succeed in Ghana.
Quite a few Germany based Ghanaians had returned home to invest, and some were doing extremely well. He mentioned Kwasi Okyere, who had opened an organic farm with two branches in the Central and Eastern Regions, and was supplying vegetables to the supermarkets.
Then there was Dan Appiah, who was bringing rebuilt tractors for sale to Ghanaian farmers, and was struggling to meet the numerous orders he had received. There were many success stories to inspire him, he said, and he was certainly going to make it in Ghana.
And to top it all, he had met a beautiful lady, just the type of woman he wanted.
Esaaba found those words really heart-warming, but she was not thrilled. She hoped and prayed that he would be able to achieve those objectives. She tried to encourage him, saying for example that having already been to Ghana to start working in his preferred line of business, all he needed was to prepare adequately and come back with full vigour.
And fortunately too, he had two wealthy partners who would provide him with technical and financial support. With hard work, he could win jobs from the big industrial and commercial organizations.
After two months, however, he fell silent. She waited for a couple of weeks, and dropped a few WhatsApp messages. But even though he opened them, he did not reply. She called on two occasions, and he did not answer. So she decided to wait for a while.
Perhaps he needed some time to sort himself out’. Regular communication from her could give the impression that he was obliged to hurry up and come to Ghana to be with her. She dropped a few messages to greet him and hope that he was doing well. Then she stopped.
Her parents may have gotten some hint from somewhere, because they started asking. ‘How are things going between you and Stanley?’ Mama asked. ‘I haven’t heard from him in a couple of months. But before then, things were going very well’. ‘How can that be, Esaaba? You mean things were going well, then all of a sudden, he went quiet, and you haven’t heard from him for two months?’
‘That’s exactly what happened Mama’. We had been chatting regularly. He had been telling me about his work in Germany, the two brothers he was working with, and how he was hoping to get them interested in working with him in Ghana. He was looking forward to resuming work here in a big way. He counted himself lucky to have a girl like me as his support.
On my part I assured him that he had done well to have started the service centre. With his knowledge of the market, he only needed good preparation to come and excel. Everything was going well as far as our conversations are concerned. When he stopped communicating. I kept sending him messages and calling. He never replied any of them’.
‘Listen, Esaaba’, Dada said. ‘We are your parents, so tell us exactly what has happened. Are you sure you haven’t had arguments with him which have caused him to back off? You know you are a very confident person. Sometimes you need to humble yourself a little, especially when it comes to men and relationships. Tell us, what exactly happened?’
‘Dada, are you telling me that I am telling lies? Well, fortunately my phone records all conversations, so I can play all of them for you now. I can also show you the WhatsApp messages we have exchanged. Let me get them all for you now’. ‘You don’t need to get angry,’ Mama said. ‘We only want the best for you. That’s why …..’
‘You want the best for me, so you must tell me that I am lying? I don’t know what is happening with Stanley in Hamburg. Perhaps he is facing challenges with the job, perhaps he has found new partners, perhaps he is moving to a new house and needs to raise money. It could be anything.
Why should you assume that I’m lying? And Dada, I don’t think it is fair that you should imply that I have said something to offend Stanley because I am a confident person. Stanley is an individual with the right to make his own choices. I don’t control him. I think I have said enough’. ‘Then we will call him ourselves and find out what is happening’, he said as I walked away. ‘Here is his number’, Esaaba said as she took a pen tore a sheet from her note pad. ‘Call him’.
The following evening, as Esaaba walked home from the taxi rank, she saw a note from Stanley, stopped to read it and, shaking her head, walked home very angry. She entered the hall and found Baaba chatting with their parents. ‘Good evening’, she greeted, trying to sound warm. ‘How is it, Baaba?’ ‘All is well.
I hear things are not going well with you and Stanley. Anything the matter?’ I don’t know on what basis you concluded that things are not going well. I haven’t heard from him in a couple of months.
I don’t know what challenges he’s facing’. ‘But if he hasn’t called in two months then something is surely wrong. I’m sure there’s something you are not telling us’. ‘Why don’t you go to hell, Baaba? If you won’t mind your own business, then go to hell’.
‘Your sister is asking such a harmless question, and you ask her to go to hell, Esaaba?’ ‘Please, Dada, I think I need to go somewhere quickly and sort myself out before things go badly wrong.
I have just received this note from Stanley. Let me read it to you: “Esaaba, you father called me last night to ask about my plans and the arrangements for our marriage. I think I need to tell you that your parents are interfering in my personal life, and I don’t like it. I must tell you that the reason why I bought you the ring and made that unusual proposal is that they called me and virtually told me to come and marry you. Kindly tell them to get off my back. Regards”.
So Mama and Dada, you think you want the best for me? Thank you for what you’ve done. And Beesiwa, go to hell. I will be moving out of this house, very soon’. Then she walked off.
Ekow De Heer