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The vulture a patient bird

The vulture descends from the great heights and clears up every mess

The vulture is not particularly handsome. Spotting a bald head from birth, it is not counted among the bold and the beautiful. But one thing people have come to know is that there is also some­thing good in being ugly. At least, in becoming a vulture, you can become rich and famous.

The Vulture whose surname is Akaga, incidentally has no Christian name. It presupposes that the vulture is not a religious character and has not undergone the ritual of the bap­tism of water and fire. The vulture is not born again.

CARCASS

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The vulture is, however, not shy of being a pagan. After all, it does more good to society than 90 per cent of Christians. Go to Alogboshie or Agbog­bloshie and you’ll see Kweku Vulture and Kwame Vulture cleaning the mess made by human beings.

Talk about smelling carcass de­composing innards, discarded and rotten fish no creature on earth wants to touch. The vulture descends from the great heights and clears up every mess human makes. If there are any environmental awards in Sikaman, they must go to the vulture.

It is very unfortunate the vulture which does more work than all AMA conservancy labourers put together, yet has not been honoured. The bird has to contend with the fact that it certainly would receive its reward but in heaven.

The only problem is that, it would have to repent and believe in the good news before getting the visa to heaven, which the vulture is not prepared to do now. Not when there is a dead rat to be attended to.

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Anyone who has studied the vulture will realise that it is a very patient bird. It waits patiently, painstakingly, enduringly for the sick animal to die. It can even be more magnanimous and allow it to rot be­fore making a meal of it. That kind of patience, no human being has.

Everyone is struggling tooth and nail to become rich overnight. Hard work is no longer a virtue. Stealing, embezzlements, fraud and ‘Sika Duro’ have become the order of the day.

These are the fast-track methods of making it in today’s world. Damn the consequences!

But if you go the ‘Sika Duro’ way, you might have to be turned into a vulture first to learn all about the virtues of patience. Turning into a vulture may not only be for ritualistic purposes. While engaging in vice, you must learn virtue.

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Even in getting ‘Sika Duro’ you need patience. And how best can anyone learn patience than becoming a vulture himself?

Following the publication of a front-page story in ‘The Spectator,’ Ghana’s top-rated weekly newspaper, that two ‘Sika Duro’ adventurists had turned into vultures, I have been under siege. It is as if I had written the story.

People have phoned me, ques­tioned me, and interrogated me as if I’m a criminal the story goes like this. Three friends who allegedly went in for juju money were turned into vultures, obviously to learn the noble art of patience. They were made to feed at a rubbish dump during the day and brought home at night to sleep, while rituals were performed.

PROCESS

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The final process was underway when there was a terrible mishap. The first vulture was transformed into a human. At this point, ritual materi­als get short and some needed to be procured.

The jujuman went to get the materials and got knocked down by a vehicle. He died instant. The two remaining vultures could therefore not regain their human form.

The only lucky one of the three had no choice but to return home to enjoy his wealth. But he had the shock of his life when he realised that his two vulture friends were fly­ing after the vehicle he boarded back home. His friends definitely came back along with him.

Now, when two vultures were alleged to have started hovering and perching at a spot hitherto free of the presence of vultures, people nat­urally became curious.

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I don’t know whether the place the vultures are said to be perching constantly in each other’s company, has now become a tourist attraction, earning Ghana some foreign ex­change. Cocoa is not fetching much.

But to anyone who questions me as to the veracity (truth) of the story, I refer the person to go and see if the vultures are at post. It is the pres­ence or absence of the vultures that can tell if the story is true or not.

Meanwhile, Sikaman Palava has been handed over information that other forms of ‘Sika Duro’ are becom­ing very popular. My investigations are on-going and soon ‘The Specta­tor’ will offer its numerous readers another front- page banner free-of-charge.

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Heard about those who are using their semen (better referred to as sperm) to get ‘Sika Duro’? They are building mansions but they have also become infertile.

They can have sex all right, but cannot impregnate a woman. Those who already have children are dis­qualified from acquiring that brand of juju money. What is the world coming to?

This article was first published on Saturday March 1, 2003

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Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 2)

David  rose and opened the door to the spare room. It was neat, as everything else in the house. He sank into the bed and stared at the ceiling. He had never hoped or expected his life to turn out that way.

Until some 12 hours ago, all seemed to be going well. He had already made a huge impact on his students, and the school. He was doing some extra-curricular work which was bringing in decent, regular income.

He had married a great looking, responsible young lady, and they had been blessed with a beautiful daugh­ter. The future could only be bright.

Yet all that had come crashing down. Gladys had been having an af­fair with her ex-boyfriend, during her pregnancy when he came to Ghana briefly, and over the last few days, when he returned.

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He confronted her with the evi­dence, and her denial was pathetic. It was over. He had pointed that out to her. Over the next hour he did a systematic review of the changes he would make.

The marriage was certainly over. And sadly, so was the Aboso SSS job. He would take a new major step in the next three months. As he was drifting off to sleep, his wife brought Sarah into the hall to breastfeed her. He woke up to rock her to sleep as usual, and went off to sleep.

The following morning, he left ear­ly for Agona Nkwanta, and informed his parents about the latest devel­opments. They were devastated, but promised to back him in every steps he took. He got back to school during the first break and carried on with his work.

He stayed on at work till after sev­en, renewing application procedures for a Master’s Degree programme in Germany which he had deferred. When he got back home his wife’s parents were waiting. His father-in-law wasted no time to get to the point.

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“My son, we came here with a simple, though difficult, task. Our daughter has confessed to us that she has offended you greviously. She went behind your back and had, er, an affair, with a young man with whom she was previously in a rela­tionship. She admits that she was foolish.

She says that her actions do not reflect a lack of respect for you as her husband, or her love for you. We are on our knees, my son, pleading with you to have mercy on her, take her back into your arms and get on with your life as man and wife. I have great confidence in you, that a great future awaits you. I’m humbly asking for your forgiveness, my son.”

“You have spoken well, Daddy. I have great respect for you and Mummy. You have been very kind and helpful to me, since I met Gladys. I regret, however, that I cannot be reconciled to her.

You see, Gladys resumed the relationship with Simon when he returned to Ghana some months ago. She was spending time with him at the hotel at a time when, as far as I know, she was carrying my child. And since he returned to Ghana a few days ago, they have continued to spend time at the hotel.

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So this is not a one-off thing. It is a relationship. I’m not going to say or do anything publicly, but the relationship is over. I will give her my fullest cooperation to give our daughter the best of care, but I will certainly move on with my life.”

“I have heard you, my son. Your re­action is both predictable and justi­fied. Here’s what I will do. I will give you a little time to think about my humble petition, and I will pray that God himself will touch your heart to tamper justice with mercy, and save this marriage.”

After this, two delegations from Gladys’s family went to engage David’s family to plead for resto­ration of the marriage, but he was adamant. They continued to live in the flat, apparently as man and wife, but although he didn’t disclose his plans to her, she knew that he would eventually move out. One morning, as they were leaving for work, Gladys issued an emphatic threat.

“David, my parents and relatives have been to see you, and virtually fallen at your feet, begging you to forgive me for my mistake, and allow us to move forward as man and wife, and take care of Sarah.

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But it appears that you are a perfect human being who does not make mistakes, and will, therefore, not forgive mistakes. Okay, you can take whatever step you want to take, but remember I also have an option. I will teach you a very bitter lesson, a lesson which you will never forget till you die.”

David smiled and eased himself out.

A couple of days later, David got home to find that Sarah was not around.

“Where’s Sarah?” he asked her.

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“Ah, David” she said with mock politeness, “there’s something I need to tell you. You see, Sarah is not actually yours. She is Simon’s baby. I’m very sorry for misleading you. Really sorry. I’m sure that being a young man, you will be able to find a nice young woman who will give you children as beautiful as Sarah.”

David stood and stared at her for a very long time while she laughed her­self into stitches. Then he stormed out and took a taxi to his parents’ house. After listening to him, his fa­ther told him his blunt, hard opinion.

“My son, I want you to brace yourself for a tough time. It is obvi­ous Gladys wants to punish you for rejecting her. She must have thought out her plan well before coming out to tell you.

You may want us to report to the police, social welfare or what have you, but my feeling is that if you play her game, she will string you round her finger for a long time. Therefore, I think you should call her bluff. Ig­nore her, difficult as it may seem. No matter how long it takes, the child will come back to us.”

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“Mama, what do you think?”

“I agree with your dad. Of course, there’s always the possibility that Sarah will actually be Simon’s, but it is highly unlikely. She has just con­nived with him to steal your child. Let’s ignore her. She will expect you to confront her and so on, but leave her alone.”

“I will do as you say, Mama and Dada, even though it is very diffi­cult. I will ask her to move out of my house. I will stay the night, and go back to Aboso tomorrow morning.”

There was no evidence of Gladys when he got home. She had cleared the house of virtually everything. David replaced some basic stuff whilst focusing on his next move. He found a replacement teacher for the school, and resigned.

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Although, he tried to leave quietly, the students, teachers and parents organised a party for him. There was great outpouring of grief as most people had learnt about the circum­stances under which he was leaving. As a token of appreciation for his passion for work, the school authori­ties named the playground Monsieur Park after him. He left for Germany, promising himself to work hard to put the last bitter experience behind him.

By Ekow de Heel

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 Migraines: Understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment options

 Migraines are a type of neurological disor­der characterised by recurrent episodes of severe headaches, often accompanied by sensitivity to light, sound, and nausea.

According to the American Migraine Foundation, (AMF) over 39 million people in the United States suffer from migraines, with women being three times more likely to ex­perience them than men.

In this article, we will delve into the causes, symptoms, and treatment options of migraines, as well as provide tips on how to manage and prevent them.

What are migraines?

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Migraines are a complex neu­rological disorder that affects not only the brain but also the nervous system and blood ves­sels. During a migraine episode, the blood vessels in the brain expand, leading to inflamma­tion and pain.

Symptoms of migraines

The symptoms of migraines can vary from person to person, but common symptoms include:

1. Severe headache: A throb­bing or pulsating headache, usually on one side of the head.

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2. Sensitivity to light and sound: Increased sensitivity to light, sound, and sometimes even touch.

3. Nausea and vomiting: Feel­ing queasy or vomiting, which can lead to dehydration.

4. Dizziness and vertigo: Feeling lightheaded or experi­encing spinning sensations.

5. Aura symptoms: Some peo­ple experience aura symptoms, such as flashing lights, zigzag patterns, or numbness, before the headache begins.

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Causes and triggers of mi­graines

While the exact cause of migraines is still unknown, re­search suggests that a combina­tion of genetic, environmental, and hormonal factors con­tribute to their development. Common triggers of migraines include:

1. Genetics: Family history plays a significant role in mi­graine development.

2. Hormonal changes: Fluc­tuations in estrogen levels, such as during menstruation or menopause.

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3. Stress: Physical or emo­tional stress can trigger mi­graines.

4. Sensory stimuli: Bright lights, loud noises, or strong smells.

5. Food and drink: Certain foods, such as aged cheeses, citrus fruits, or foods contain­ing MSG or tyramine.

6. Sleep patterns: Changes in sleep patterns, such as insom­nia or oversleeping.

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7. Environmental factors: Changes in weather, altitude, or exposure to chemicals.

Treatment and management options

While there is no cure for migraines, various treatment options can help alleviate symptoms and prevent future episodes. These include:

1. Medications: Over-the-counter pain relievers, such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen, or prescription medications, such as triptans or ergotamines.

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2. Lifestyle changes: Main­taining a consistent sleep schedule, staying hydrated, and avoiding triggers.

3. Relaxation techniques: Stress-reducing activities, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises.

4. Chiropractic care: Spinal manipulation and other chiro­practic techniques may help alleviate migraine symptoms.

5. Alternative therapies: Acu­puncture, massage, or herbal supplements, such as feverfew or butterbur.

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Preventing migraines

While migraines can be unpredictable, there are steps you can take to reduce their frequency and severity:

1. Keep a headache diary: Tracking your migraines can help you identify patterns and triggers.

2. Maintain a consistent sleep schedule: Irregular sleep pat­terns can trigger migraines.

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3. Stay hydrated: Dehydra­tion is a common migraine trigger.

4. Avoid triggers: Identify and avoid triggers, such as certain foods or sensory stimuli.

5. Manage stress: Engage in stress-reducing activities, such as meditation or yoga.

When to seek medical at­tention

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While migraines can be debil­itating, some symptoms require immediate medical attention:

1. Severe or frequent mi­graines: If you experience more than 15 headache days per month.

2. Increasing frequency or se­verity: If your migraines worsen over time.

3. Aura symptoms: If you experience aura symptoms, such as numbness, weakness, or difficulty speaking.

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4. Headache with fever: If you have a headache accompa­nied by a fever, confusion, or stiff neck.

5. Recent head trauma: If you have experienced a recent head injury.

Conclusion

Migraines are a complex and debilitating neurological disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. While there is no cure, various treatment options and lifestyle changes can help alleviate symptoms and prevent future episodes.

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By understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment op­tions of migraines, you can take control of your condition and improve your quality of life.

By Robert Ekow Grimmond Thompson

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