Obaa Yaa
They always insult me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young woman married to a businessman who is doing well in life. Right from the outset, our marriage has been plagued with interferences. He has a problem of discussing our marital issues with his family members and friends and even consulting them before reaching any decision without my knowledge.
What makes matters worse is that he insults me at the least provocation, but only consults me only when he needs my help. Anytime l complain, he takes offence and would not be in good terms with me for a long period.
This situation has been going on for quite a long time and l am now used to it because l have no alternative. But I must say that it does not auger well for us.
Recently, the wife of one of his friends called me on phone and rained insults on me by using words like, “ you are useless” and others that l cannot use in print. The second incident was when one of his relatives told me that l was foolish and did not deserve to be married to their cousin.
Although l was hurt by both insults, l did not react instantly, but took it cool and ignored the insults for peace to prevail.
The issue is that whenever l see them, it reminds me of the nasty words they used on me.
What should l do?
Dear Felix,
I wish to commend you for comporting yourself in the face of all the challenges that you are going through.
The audacity with which the family members are insulting you clearly shows that they have the backing of your husband that is why they have the effrontery to do what they have done.
Secondly, the adage that there is no smoke without fire also lends credence to the fact that your husband has given them a lot of information.
This sort of situation cannot go on forever, therefore, enough must be enough. You have to inform your husband about the continued misbehaviour of his relatives and the people who are close to him and know much about what pertains in your family.
He should know that you are hurt and cannot entertain the insults any longer. He should know that there is a limit to everything and he should not forget that you also have family members and friends who are capable of defending you.
Obaa Yaa
My mum is always shouting at me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM an 18 year-old boy who has lost interest in education following my failure to live up to expectation while in school.
As a result, I have quit school and that has made my mother the saddest woman of this earth.
She has invested so much in my education all by herself and the support of some of my relatives since my father failed to support my education and care for me from infancy.
My mother shouts at me in any conversation and tells me how I want to make her life miserable by not going to school.
I want to learn a trade instead because I am struggling with school.
Odame, Konongo.
*******
Dear Odame,
I believe your mother did all she could to make life easier by giving you the best of education.
If you knew you had no interest in what you were doing, you could have alerted her earlier.
I am happy you have admitted that your conduct is disturbing your mother and making her unhappy.
If she is willing to continue supporting you, try and go back to school.
You can still go back to school and learn a trade.
Obaa Yaa
He is taking advantage of me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I entered into a relationship with a young man when I was at the University. We completed not quite long ago and planned to get married.
However, I find my man’s behaviour very strange.
For the past two years that we have been together, my man has not taken me to his house or introduced me to any of his family members.
I am not convinced about the future of this relationship.
Oforiwaa, Lashibi
****
Dear Oforiwaa,
If the man doesn’t want to introduce you to his family members, then he’s obviously not in love with you.
He has no plans to have any serious relationship with you in future although he might have promised you that.
Whatever he might have told you is perhaps to get you into his bed.
I guess you stated it right. This man might be fooling you. So don’t let him take you for granted.
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