Relationship

Things you shouldn’t do at the beginning of a relationship

The beginning of a relationship is one of the most exhilarating moments for a couple. It is okay to be all over each other, but avoid letting your excitement ruin a blossoming romance.

It is normal to feel excited and hopeful of the future your relationship may have. But here are few things you should avoid doing in a blossoming relationship.

1. Playing hard to get

While it’s always best not to be too ‘available’ for your new boyfriend, it’s not a good thing to play hard to get. Your boyfriend will surely notice it, and it won’t make a good impression on him.

So, if you’re not busy, answer his text messages or calls. If you are available for a date when he asks, say yes. Just be honest, and stay between being easy and playing hard to get to make sure the relationship moves smoothly.

2. Being too clingy and needy

Since your relationship is new and you don’t know much about your new guy yet, it’s only natural to want to spend every waking moment with him. You want to get to know him, and you’re hungry for his presence and all the things that attracted you to him in the first place.

However, your boyfriend needs to breathe and do things on his own. Even if he likes you, he still has to have time for himself. He can’t be with you 24/7, so don’t pressure him into spending every moment with you.

Let him do his thing, and you’ll be amazed at how he’ll want to be with you more because you’re not suffocating him.

3. Being too jealous and possessive

Your boyfriend will likely have friends of the opposite sex who he still sees and talks to. Don’t prevent him from doing so because it’s inappropriate. You don’t want him to think that you’re the crazy girlfriend, right?

Don’t be jealous of these friends, because before you became his girlfriend, they were there for him and were his friends already. You probably also have friends of the opposite sex who you don’t wish to ditch for your new boyfriend. Be understanding and know your boundaries.

4. Expecting your boyfriend to read your mind

It’s easy to assume that your new guy knows what’s going on inside that mind of yours, but he doesn’t. This is why you should never expect him to be a mind reader. You have to communicate your expectations and needs to him, and he should do the same thing so that the relationship can flourish.

If you always expect him to know exactly what you need, you’ll be in for disappointment.

5. Lying

The problem with lying at the beginning is that it all starts with a small lie. To cover up that lie, you’ll be forced to make another lie until such time that you have to lie constantly so that you don’t get caught in the previous lies.

This is something your new partner does not deserve, so don’t make them suffer because of your issues. Be honest because they deserve the truth.

6. Talking about the future constantly

You just started dating so initiating talks about the future, like moving in together or settling down, is just inappropriate. While it’s something that can warm the heart of your significant other (given the affection you evidently have for him), it can also place unnecessary pressure on him (because he may not feel the same way just yet).

So, don’t ‘scare’ him away by this kind of talk. Just enjoy the ride. You can talk about how many kids you’ll have and when you want to start a family with him when the right time comes.

7. Losing your sense of self

Often, people stop pursuing their passions when they enter a new relationship. Even if you want to spend all your time with your partner, find time to do what makes you happy and fulfills you as a person.

8. Ignoring signs of trouble

If your partner shows any signs that he may have violent tendencies, do not shrug them off. Be sure to keep your eyes open and look for other signs that will confirm that he has issues.

It’s easier to walk away when you haven’t fallen in love with him yet than when you’ve already given him your all.

Relategist.com

Relationship

When the tides change

GONG! Gong! Gong! Gong! Fellow Umofians! I bring you good tidings from our forebearers! It is another day in our great land!

Umofians, there is good news from the village square! Hear ye, good people! Good deeds are like perfume, wafting sweet fragrances to our noses. You see, I recall market tales of a boy wonder, providing good roads, water, clothes, and food, making life comfortable for his community. Today, he stands before us ready to serve his people at the national level.

A big Akwaaba to this boy wonder! And as we the Ewes say, Woezor! We Umofians have long since heard of your good deeds and sung your praises! And now, as the winds of change sweep through the community, they carry the whispers of gratitude, louder than the rustling of harmattan leaves! Ayekoo! Indeed, no sun sets without its histories and you have written yours in golden letters. Y3 ma wo amo! Well done!

Speaking of change, Umofians, have you noticed how opinions can shift faster than Accra traffic during rush hour?

Ehe, I remember vividly that we were in this country when this boy wonder, now our illustrious lawmaker, was the self-appointed ‘Siren Police,’ vehemently opposing MPs for the use of sirens on our busy roads. But now the tides have changed, fellow Umofians, our rhythms are beating differently and we are singing a new tune. Indeed, life has a funny way of tooting its own horn… literally!

Buckle up, Umofians! Here is what you missed.

Breaking news from the village square: our newest Honourable member has had a change of heart! It seems he has traded in his ‘Siren Police’ badge for a dispatch rider’s helmet. Why, you ask? He had a scheduling conflict – attending the 92nd National Convention (Jalsa) of the Ahmadiyya Muslim at Gomoa Pomadze and parliamentary duties on the same day. Talk about multitasking!

Fellow Umofians, it seems the tides have indeed changed and so has our Honourable member’s tune! They say the wearer of the shoe knows where it hurts the most and now our Honourable member is feeling the pinch!

You see, it is ridiculously easy to play judge when you are sitting on the sidelines, sipping on a cold bottle of ‘Club Beer’, and watching the game unfold. But what happens when you are suddenly thrust into the hot seat?

Perhaps our dearest newest boy wonder has found out. After all, nothing screams “I have seen the light!” quite like being stuck in the mother of all traffic jams, late for a meeting. Suddenly, the wail of sirens seems like a symphony of efficiency. Honourable, your dramatic U-turn is a classic tale of “if you cannot beat them, join them.”

Until next time, stay vigilant and keep smiling!

To be continued……

^With Eyram, the Tale Bearer

Relationship

Good reasons for getting married – Part 2

Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.

3. Marry because you are mature and ready for it in all ways: spiritual, physical, emotional, financial, and psychological.

You must understand the need to be ready and mature for marriage. Marriage is a crucial decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. Spiritual maturity means a strong faith and shared beliefs with your partner (Colossians 3:14).

Being physically mature has to do with coming of age, taking care of your body, and being able to support your partner. Emotional maturity implies you can manage your emotions and communicate well (Proverbs 15:1).

Financial maturity means being able to provide for your partner and home. It also means being financially stable (Proverbs 21:5). Whereas psychological maturity is about knowing yourself and handling life’s challenges (Romans 12:2).

All these factors help you be ready for marriage. They also help you build a strong, lasting relationship with your spouse.

The verses above show that a strong relationship with God, self-care, communication, financial responsibility, and personal growth are key to being ready for marriage.

4. Marry to spiritually and physically help each other.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman who choose to share their lives together. Spirituality and physical wellbeing are both essential components of a healthy relationship. Couples can enjoy supporting each other spiritually and physically. Here are some ways to achieve this.

Spiritual help:

a. Share your spiritual beliefs and practices with each other.

b. Attend church services or religious events together.

c. Pray together.

d. Discuss spiritual teachings and how they apply to your relationship.

e. Encourage each other to live a life of kindness, compassion, and service.

Physical help:

a. Exercise together.

b. Cook healthy meals and eat together.

c. Take care of each other’s physical needs.

d. Support each other during illnesses.

e. Sleep well and create a healthy sleep routine.

By supporting each other, couples can grow and strengthen their bond in all aspects of life.

5. Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.

Many believe that everyone has a unique, God-given destiny. It can guide decisions, including whom to marry. Some believe that God has a specific person for each individual. Others believe that God directs and helps them choose wisely.

Ask your marriage counsellor this: Does God have a specific person for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?

Does God have a specific person for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?

Marry based on a combination of reasons. These include compatibility, love, respect, and shared faith, values, and goals. Also, commit to supporting and caring for each other. It can help to seek advice from a trusted marriage counsellor, family members, or spiritual leaders. Also, reflect on your priorities and dreams before deciding.

Marriage can bring you and your partner closer together. You will share the same values and goals for your future. It can help you solidify your relationship and bring a sense of unity.

6. Marry for a lifelong commitment and dedication.

Marriage is a public declaration of commitment and dedication to each other. It shows that you are serious about your relationship and willing to put in the effort to make it work. Many marry to show their commitment and dedication to building a life together.

Marriage can provide a legal and social framework for you and your spouse to share your lives, support each other, and celebrate your successes. It can also create a sense of stability and security for both of you and any potential children you may have.

Finally, the choice to marry is personal and it should be based on your understanding of marriage and your needs, goals, and values.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite. com/edu-counseling-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)