Obaa Yaa
This boy deceives my friend
Dear Obaa Yaa,
L have a close friend who is like a biological sister to me and with whom l share my dreams about life. She is in a three-year relationship with a boy of the same age, who to me is not dependable because he abuses her always.
Despite the behaviour of this young man, my friend trusts him and tries to paint a nice picture to others that their relationship is well and cannot be allowed to fall on rocks.
Quite recently, they fought and he attempted to strangle her to death, but he was unsuccessful, after which she called me at dawn.
The boy is not trustworthy because he keeps telling friends that he would not marry my friend, but comes around with sugar-coated words that he will do all within his power to marry her.
l must be frank that l cannot stand the double standard game he is playing with my friend.
While observers see the relationship as lacking credibility and, therefore, cannot last, she considers it as true love and has given her whole heart to him.
Can l impress upon her to end the relationship?
Belinda-Accra.
Dear Belinda,
You must be frank and tell your friend the truth about how you view their relationship.
Attempting to strangle her for no apparent reason should not be taken lightly. This gentleman can end her life if she fails to take serious view of current happenings in the relationship.
Judging from the utterances of the gentleman and what had transpired between them so far, it would be ideal if your friend ends the relationship in order to stay alive.
It is unfortunate she does not perceive what others see about their relationship.
Obaa Yaa
My husband is seeing another lady
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I dated my husband for two years and got married few months ago because I was pregnant and didn’t want to give birth out of wedlock.
At the time I realised I was pregnant, another lady was also pregnant for him but the lady insisted on terminating the pregnancy and because he needed a child, he asked me to keep it and pleaded that he will not cheat on me again.
Now I have a baby girl and the issue is that he hides basically everything about him from me including his phone.
We are basically living like roommates but he provides food for the home. I am still in school so I want to go for family planning till I complete school and get something to do for myself because I don’t want to fully depend on him again.
Please I need an advice whether to go for the family planning or not and should I inform my husband?
Kakyire, Tarkwa.
Dear Kaakyire,
I understand what you are going through and feel your pain. I am pleading with you to be patient when handling issues like this.
Kindly have a discussion with your husband and voice out your frustrations and everything you are going through to him.
Make amends and apologise to each other. Begin this year on a fresh note.
I would advise you to go for the family planning methods in order to complete school without another pregnancy.
Finally, continue to pray and commit your marriage into the hands of God.
Obaa Yaa
My wife has put on weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am aged 39, our marriage is two years old. I am sincerely worried about the changes in my wife. I got married to my wife who was slim and very beautiful but after the birth of our first child, she suddenly became fat.
She looks entirely like a different person to me. I have pleaded with her to hit the gym and also reduce her food intake, suggesting she eat only once a day.
I even went on to register her in a gym myself and pressurised her to be serious with it but she only went for a week and stopped, saying it’s stressful and still eating more than once a day.
I only make love to my wife when I am drunk, as I no longer find her sweet and attractive. As a result, I am having an affair with a lady I met on social media two months ago and she is pregnant.
I am confused because I did not intend to have a broken marriage. I sincerely love my wife, but her new size is sincerely a turn-off for me. Honestly, I am pleading for your assistance on how to tackle this situation.
Mr Owusu,
Techiman.
Dear Owusu,
You should understand that pregnancy and childbirth comes with a lot of changes and challenges.
People lose their lives whilst giving birth, others lose their teeth and some become paralysed for the rest of their lives.
If the basis for marrying your wife was because of her stature, then it’s highly possible you didn’t love her because these body changes are meant to happen.
You cannot tell an elderly woman to eat once a day just because you want her shape back.
You can convince her to exercise but not to compel her against her will.
And how sure are you that the other woman will not go through these changes when she gives birth as well.
It means you will end up moving from one woman to the other.
If you really cherish your wife and don’t want a broken home, then inform her about the other woman and the child she is expecting. Be responsible for the child and end the affair with the other woman.
Be ready to accept the current stature of your wife and enjoy your marriage.
