When you commit to taking up a new habit, it is essential to have a clear plan of action before you begin. Start with a long-term goal and keep it S.M.A.R.T: S- Specific M-Measurable A- Achievable R-Rele­vant and T- Timely

Habit Stacking

Habit Stacking is exactly what it sounds like: putting two or more habits together. We recom­mend choosing times of the day when routines are strongest. For most people, this is usually the morning or before bed. We know day-to-day life can get a little crazy, but there are certain times when patterns are created, mak­ing them the perfect place for a positive change.

The best way to form a new habit is to tie it in with an exist­ing one.

Baby steps

Many experts agree that signif­icant changes require high moti­vation levels, which can be hard to sustain. Instead, you should start with a slight change that will eventually lead to something bigger.

You can transition to some­thing bigger once you have successfully implemented daily habits for a designated amount of time.

Consistency

Consistency is key. To make something a habit, you need to do it every day. We have all heard the magic ‘21 day’ fix, but the fact of the matter is, it’s not one size fits all.

Celebrate success

Perhaps the most important part of habit-making is rewarding yourself. We know habits take time, but in order to not give up, you need to celebrate every win.

Find the thing you love and allow yourself to experience it once you’ve hit a milestone on your habit-forming journey. Some­times, the results of habits are not immediately apparent. Do not give up!

 Whether you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or are simply going through a stressful period, everyone needs a little motivation every now and then, particularly in relation­ships.

These are three coping skills and strategies that can help you defeat anxiety in your relation­ship.

1. Deep Breathing

Deep breathing is a simple technique that is excellent for managing emotions. Not only is deep breathing effective, it is also discreet and easy to use at any time or place.

Sit comfortably and place one hand on your abdomen. Breathe in through your nose, deeply enough that the hand on your abdomen rises. Hold the air in your lungs, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, with your lips puckered as if you are blowing through a straw. The secret is to go slow: Time the inhalation (4’s), pause (4’s), and exhalation (6’s). Practice for 3 to 5 minutes.

2. Examine Your Thoughts

For instance, the thoughts that “something bad will hap­pen” or “I will make a mistake” might lack evidence, but still have an impact on how you feel.

By examining the evidence and challenging these thoughts, you can reduce anxiety.

Put thoughts on trial. Choose a thought that has contributed to your relationship anxiety. Gather evidence in support of your thought (verifiable facts only), and against your thought. Compare the evidence and de­termine whether your thought is accurate or not.

Ask yourself:

“Is my thought based on facts or feelings?”

“How would my partner or best friend see this situation?”

“How likely is it that my fear will come true?”

“What’s most likely to hap­pen?”

“If my fear comes true, will it still matter in a week? A month? A year?”

3. Imagery (Positive Imagi­nation)

Your thoughts have the power to change how you feel. If you think of something sad, it is like­ly you will start to feel sad. The opposite is also true: When you think of something positive and calming, you feel relaxed. The imagery technique harnesses this power to reduce anxiety.

Think of a place that you find comforting. It could be a seclud­ed beach, your bedroom, a quiet mountaintop, your prayer closet, or even a loud gospel concert. For 5 to 10 minutes, use all your senses to imagine this setting in great detail. Do not think fleet­ingly about this place; really imagine it.

(PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7)

“6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your re­quests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

#QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Anxiety does not empty to­morrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.

—Charles Spurgeon

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from “HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR COURTSHIP: Building a Strong Foundation for Your Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, Author, and Marriage Therapist).

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSO­CIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUN­SELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)