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When drunks warm up for Jesus’ second coming
Sikaman Palava
To the hell-bound unbeliever, it doesn’t matter whether Jesus died on the cross or kicked off while in the wheel-chair. What they would forever be grateful for is that Judas did his job perfectly, sending Jesus to Golgotha so that Easter can become a yearly celebration, anointed with the flow of palm wine and tots of Alomo.
Many natives of Sikaman normally do not celebrate Christmas. They see Christmas as a bother. The kids won’t stop reminding them about their new shoes and dresses, hats, watches, and every nonsensical nonsensicality under the sun, moon and stars.
And the kids will not relent whether you are financially anaemic or generally ‘kpokpomatic.’ It is not so with Easter. It is only on Palm Sunday that the kids start whining about palm branches they would use to herald Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem. Loud Hosanna!
When I was a kid, I used to look forward to Palm Sunday. After we went to Jerusalem and back, we were welcomed home with Rice and curried chicken. And little Kwame Alomele would be seen dialoguing with a chicken wing in a most graceful manner, while eyeing a chicken thigh that is waiting to be peer reviewed.
PICNIC
I realised that the kids did not celebrate Easter in any definitive manner apart from the Easter Monday picnicking during which we drank a mixture of Coke, Fanta, Asana, Sprite and Mirinda and accounted for it very miserably and dishourably around midnight. The super- holy mixture turned the stomach at the eleventh hour and the result was one hell of a voting bout.
But it wasn’t only the children who vomited from mixing drinks. The big folks sometimes ended up in the gutter having mixed beer, stout, palm wine, akpeteshie (better known as sodabi). When they happened to eat kokonte and groundnut soup before drinking all these, what they threw up was a side attraction in itself.
The whole mess could be something amazing. But you are sure to see a crab’s claw somewhere, and you’d wonder whether the man swallowed the crab whole. The truth is that some people do. They don’t like chewing.
They are used to swallowing fufu and kokonte so much that they swallow virtually anything edible in sight. So to them swallowing a crab whole is no big deal. Just one of those things, if not a hobby!
To most folks, the celebration of Easter itself is not as exciting as the preparation for the event. Most guys would want to celebrate at Peki or Kwahu, the two accredited and gazetted Easter celebration points endorsed from heaven. Any woman whose husband goes on trek during Easter should be informed that the trek is not a genuine one. You can locate your husband swinging at Peki or Kwahu with a fair-coloured lady. I can bet on it!
Others would want to go to their own home towns to show off their moustache. But it all requires cash because while exhibiting your stylish upper-lip you must also “do show” to attract the attention of the ladies. You’ll need one to warm your waist when the cold comes at dawn. AIDS or no AIDS. All die be die!
So the preparations must include moustache-trimming, latest hair-shaping, cash saving and of course studying the latest dance style. Normally, you’ll not be expected to repeat the style you displayed a year back, otherwise you’ll be branded as not trendy. You must storm the stage dog-style and behave like an animal.
That is how the ladies will offer you “scholarship.”
LATEST
What has fascinated me most is the Easter Sunday church service. That is where the ladies release the latest or imported kaba styles. They come to church not to hail the resurrection of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, but to prove to all and sundry that indeed, they know how to dress.
And the way they strut to the church service is something I have never believed could ever be possible. But they accomplish it effortlessly.
You wouldn’t know whether the ladies want to fly like a vulture or glide like a crow. But they all, without exception, behave like a peacock. The men folk wonder at the ladies’ elegant clothing and their affected pomposity. With measured steps, they enter into the church hall, and instead of sitting the ladies perch like birds. They are possessed with the spirit of the occasion.
The Easter sermon is normally predictable. Judas will be condemned a bit, but not too much because the man is credited with betraying the messiah through which the redemption of man has come.
The pastor himself is normally in high spirits. He is expected to announce that Jesus has indeed resurrected after three days; and all eyes focus on him.
“His blood is what you Christians must strive for. It can redeem you from sin,” he’d wail.
SECRECY
If he is overzealous or happens to have taken some wine in the secrecy of his bedroom to loosen his tongue, he can say it exactly as it is, and risk offending the congregation.
“Jesus’ blood is for people like you sitting right here in front of me. You are fornicators, adulterers, crooks and common thieves. It doesn’t matter how well-dressed you are. After all, a decorated donkey is more or less an ass.
“Some of you are murderers, idolaters, rapists, armed robbers and car-jackers. With some of you, it was out of criminal activities that you had money to celebrate this Easter. It is for people like you that the Lord Jesus shed his blood. You need to repent and believe in his gospel.”
Everyone will be sure the pastor wasn’t referring to him or her. Of course, every Easter Sunday service is also attended by people who declare themselves village tramps and drunks. Once in a year, they come to the altar to ask God to free them from the witches who put pots into people’s bellies. They are expected to fill the pot with akpeteshie, but it never gets filled.
“Did Jesus die for me too,” a common palm wine drunkard would say aloud.” Pastor tell me something.”
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Who knows tomorrow?
Recently a friend posted a sad news on his Facebook page, announcing the death of a school mate who had passed away, suddenly. The report had it that he was on his way to the airport to take a flight to Ghana.
I am sure this man had already informed the wife or a friend or a work colleague at work that he was returning home but he was not to return as a human being but as a dead body.
Such is life and so we need to be circumspect in how we go about things in life. The Bible reminds us that we are like grass which at one point in time looks elegant and the next moment becomes withered according to Psalm 90:5 and 6. It is for this reason that we need to guard our hearts with the word of God so that we shall be motivated to do the right thing, at all times.
This will enable us live on this planet, free from all sorts of troubles in our personal lives, even if we ignore the question of Heaven and Hell. Living a disciplined life delivers us from any kind of trouble as the Bible declares in Galatians 5:23 that against such there is no law.
The uncertainty surrounding our lives on earth is the more reason why people should commit their lives into the hands of the one who created it, in the first place unless you believe that the world created itself and that it appeared from nowhere.
Otherwise, the logical thing to do is to recognize the authority of the creator and surrender to his Lordship. Heaven is real and Hell is real, so for us who know the truth and have received Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, the onus lies on us to encourage our relations who have not believed and received Jesus into their lives, to do so.
We are a couple of days from another Easter Resurrection celebration and an opportunity to reflect on our lives in relation to the significance of Easter. In the Bible, the only occasion Jesus, Saviour of the world commands us to celebrate is his death and resurrection.
He never commanded his followers to celebrate his birth but like everything else, we chose to ignore Jesus’s instructions and decided to do what pleases us, just like our forefather and mother in the Garden of Eden.
Let us deliberately choose to do things differently as Christians this Easter, so we can really benefit from all the blessings that the celebration of the death and birth of Jesus, has on offer. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is definitely insanity.
I choose to be different this Easter and I am believing God for a newness of life so God’s glory would be revealed in me to draw the unsaved to him. It is only when people especially the unsaved, see the character of Christ in us, that they can be convinced about the authenticity of Jesus, as Saviour of the world, who can bring transformation in their lives too.
This is what would motivate them to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ. Let us make this Easter a memorable one that will be cherished for a long time. It is also a period for reconciliation and it would be great if in the spirit of Easter, we would try to reach out to those who have wronged us or have a grudge against us.
This would demonstrate that we have indeed accepted Jesus and that our religious posture is not a sham. May the good Lord grant us the grace to love our neighbours as ourselves, demonstrating the love of God in the process.
Those who have lost their loved ones and Easter brings sad memories, may the good Lord comfort and strengthen you. God bless.
.NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
Features
Cosmetic deformities
COSMETIC deformities refer to physical imperfections or abnormalities that affect an individual’s appearance, often causing emotional distress and impacting their quality of life.
These deformities can be congenital, acquired, or result from various medical conditions or treatments. This article provides an in-depth exploration of cosmetic deformities, their types, causes, effects, and treatment options.
Types of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can affect various parts of the body, including the face, skin, hair, nails, and teeth. Some common types of cosmetic deformities include:
1. Facial deformities: Congenital or acquired abnormalities affecting the shape, structure, or appearance of the face, such as cleft lip and palate, facial paralysis, or facial asymmetry.
2. Skin deformities: Conditions affecting the skin’s texture, tone, or appearance, such as acne, scars, birthmarks, or skin discoloration.
3. Hair deformities: Abnormalities affecting the hair’s growth, texture, or appearance, such as alopecia, hirsutism, or hair loss due to medical conditions or treatments.
4. Nail deformities: Conditions affecting the shape, size, or appearance of the nails, such as nail fungus, nail psoriasis, or nail trauma.
5. Dental deformities: Abnormalities affecting the shape, size, or appearance of the teeth, such as tooth decay, tooth loss, or malocclusion.
Causes of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can result from various factors, including:
1. Genetics: Congenital conditions or inherited traits can cause cosmetic deformities.
2. Trauma: Injuries or accidents can result in cosmetic deformities, such as scars or facial trauma.
3. Medical conditions: Certain medical conditions, such as acne, psoriasis, or eczema, can cause cosmetic deformities.
4. Treatments and procedures: Medical treatments, such as chemotherapy, radiation therapy, or surgery, can result in cosmetic deformities.
5. Aging and environmental factors: Aging, sun exposure, and environmental factors can contribute to cosmetic deformities, such as wrinkles, fine lines, or age spots.
Effects of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can have significant emotional and psychological effects on individuals, including:
1. Low self-esteem: Cosmetic deformities can lead to feelings of insecurity, self-consciousness, and low self-esteem.
2. Social anxiety: Individuals with cosmetic deformities may experience social anxiety, avoiding social interactions or feeling embarrassed in public.
3. Emotional distress: Cosmetic deformities can cause emotional distress, including depression, anxiety, or stress.
4. Impact on quality of life: Cosmetic deformities can affect an individual’s quality of life, impacting their relationships, career, or overall well-being.
Treatment options for cosmetic deformities
Various treatment options are available to address cosmetic deformities, including:
1. Surgical procedures: Surgical procedures, such as reconstructive surgery, cosmetic surgery, or dermatological surgery, can correct or improve cosmetic deformities.
2. Non-surgical treatments: Non-surgical treatments, such as laser therapy, chemical peels, or microdermabrasion, can address cosmetic concerns, such as skin texture, tone, or appearance.
3. Medical treatments: Medical treatments, such as topical creams, oral medications, or injectable treatments, can address cosmetic concerns, such as acne, hair loss, or nail deformities.
4. Prosthetic and orthotic devices: Prosthetic and orthotic devices, such as wigs, hairpieces, or dental prosthetics, can help individuals with cosmetic deformities.
5. Counselling and therapy: Counselling and therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or psychotherapy, can help individuals cope with the emotional and psychological effects of cosmetic deformities.
Conclusion
Cosmetic deformities can have significant emotional and psychological effects on individuals, impacting their quality of life and overall well-being.
Understanding the types, causes, and effects of cosmetic deformities is crucial in addressing these concerns.
Various treatment options are available, ranging from surgical procedures to non-surgical treatments, medical treatments, prosthetic and orthotic devices, and counselling and therapy.
By seeking professional help and support, individuals with cosmetic deformities can improve their appearance, boost their self-esteem, and enhance their overall quality of life.
Reference
1. “Cosmetic Deformities” by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons
