Relationship
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your health span
Friends sharing their challenges
“Me nyare n’anso me nti ap)” this is a popular akan saying that can be translated into English as “I am not ill, yet I feel unwell.” It’s that feeling when you just can’t place a finger on what is not right with you.
Today, I can confidently inform you that if you have felt this way in the past, you certainly had a point. Medical science has come a long way and we know that health and wellness go far beyond what we are used to; pains, heart disease, infections etc. that form physical health/wellness.
Other equally important aspects of wellness exist, and these may be classified as social, mental, spiritual, financial and digital health and wellness.
Do not be surprised when your doctor begins to ask you questions about your social network such as those you have close ties with i.e., family or friends or both. Longevity depends on a large extend on one’s social support system or network.
This is how the American Heart Association puts it “lack of SOCIAL CONNECTION is associated with increased risk of premature death from all causes, especially among men.”
This is no open ticket to spend all of one’s after work hours hanging out with friends under the disguise that you are prolonging your life or reducing your risk of premature death. Moderation is key in all things and your strong social ties need not be a whole village, all you need is a handful of loyal friends or family who know you inside out and have your wellbeing at heart.
If you are stressed out or have any mental health challenges, you should be able to speak to a close friend and sharing your challenge may just be enough or this friend may be able to advice you appropriately.
It is easy to laugh with such friends and not be worried about being judged and laughter as you know is MEDICINE. Close contacts may prompt you to take your physical health seriously but even if they don’t, that bond you share, the sense of belonging causes the body to produce feel good hormones that protect you and prolong your health span.
I prefer health span to lifespan simply because lifespan refers to just being alive but one may not be “living” as you may be bedridden, in a coma, have multiple organ challenges etc. We should all aim at a long health span.
The art of building strong social connections is one reason we need to work on getting our children away from their phones and other gadgets that deprive them of the opportunity to talk to their peers, share physical contact and form lifelong relationships.
Dear friend, choose your friends wisely if you want to live a long, healthy and happy life.
While you work on your social connections, let’s breathe our way to great health by following the steps below and repeat these steps daily;
1. Sit in a quiet place.
2. Avoid tight clothing (so loosen your belt, neck tie or other constricting clothing).
3. Take in deep breaths through your nostril and exhale slowly through partially closed lips.
a. At the peak of your initial inhale, take in another breath and hold for a count of 4 before exhaling.
4. Expand your belly as you breathe in.
5. Focus on your breathing and forget about everything else.
6. When your focus drifts off (and it will about 50 per cent of the time), acknowledge the thought but quickly return to your breathing.
7. Continue breathing in and exhaling for 5 minutes.
8. Increase the duration of this breathing/mindfulness over time.
…and remember to teach your friends to breathe too, after all together you will live a long healthy and enjoyable life.
AS ALWAYS LAUGH OFTEN, ENSURE HYGIENE, WALK AND PRAY EVERYDAY AND REMEMBER IT’S A PRICELESS GIFT TO KNOW YOUR NUMBERS (blood sugar, blood pressure, blood cholesterol, BMI).
Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
Health Essentials Ltd (HE&W Group)
(dressel@healthessentialsgh. com)
*Dr Essel is a Medical Doctor with a keen interest in Lifestyle Medicine, He holds an MBA and is an ISSA Specialist in Exercise Therapy, Fitness Nutrition and Corrective Exercise. He is the author of the award-winning book, ‘Unravelling the Essentials of Health & Wealth.’
Thought for the week (1) – “Lack of sleep may predispose you to many diseases including a STROKE. Jump into bed an hour earlier and sleep a stroke away. You cannot be healthy during WAR or VIOLENCE, let’s all pray and work towards PEACE in our WORLD”
Thought for the week (2) – “There is no magic formula to being happy but making a conscious effort to be happy goes a long way.” – Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
By Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
Relationship
The role of employment status, wealth, geographical location in divorce
Several research findings have identified factors likely to account for divorce. These factors include (but are not limited to):
1. Employment Status and Income Levels of Individuals
Several research on the employment status of married individuals have identified how it influences marital stability. If the husband is employed, the likelihood of the marriage ending in divorce is low.
The is because, as the head, he would be in a better position to provide for the family’s needs, strengthening the family and increasing their standard of living (Lee, unpublished).
On the contrary, women who are employed are at risk of having a higher divorce rate, particularly when they find themselves in unhappy marriages.
This is because they can afford to be independent and cater for their children (Becker, Landes & Michael, 1977; Oppenheimer, 1997; Sayer & Bianchi, 2000). Moore’s (1994) argument also supports the fact that women’s divorce risks increase as they find themselves in highly time-demanding occupations outside the home. This is because they might be unable to devote ample time to their spouses and children.
Despite these findings, I know of a good number of women who are doing their best to maintain some balance between their married life and their work. I highly commend such women for their extra efforts on behalf of their families.
2. Wealth
Research shows that the individuals’ wealth status could either increase or decrease the probability of divorce. Some scholars (Kurderk, 1993 and Rootalu, 2010) indicated that when individuals are more affluent and wealthy, marriage stability is compromised because couples could easily afford the costs involved in the divorce process.
Others also suggest that individuals who are not wealthy (especially women) are at lower risk of divorce than more prosperous women (Ambert, 2002).
3. Geographical Location or Type of Residential Place
Geographic location and its characteristics could impact your marriage’s stability. Several studies on the location of residence have shown that married couples who live in urban communities are more likely to experience divorce than their rural counterparts (Adegoke, 2010; Adedokun, 1998).
According to Takyi (2001) and Moore (1994), urbanisation undermines African marriages.
Characteristics dominant in urban communities, such as the preference for conjugal union over the extended family and the increasing number of women in restrictive and time-consuming employment setups, have been argued to weaken the foundation of families and marriages.
This is because the conjugal family type does not allow for the involvement of other extended family members except for the immediate family (nuclear family). The immediate family is mainly made up of the married couple and their children; hence, there is less opportunity for the involvement of other members of the other family.
Indeed, it matters a lot how much your in-laws are involved in your marriage (in a healthy way, without much interference).
Modernisation in Africa is destroying the benefits that could have been derived from couples’ healthy relationships with the extended family.
Oppong (1992) supported this argument that African modernisation has led to the type of urbanisation, encouraging wide separation from extended families. Unfortunately, urbanisation supports an individualistic living arrangement (devoid of considerations for other families).
It is not surprising that a good number of researchers confirm that urban divorce rates exceed rural areas’ rates.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “PREPARING FOR A HAPPY AND FULFILLING MARRIAGE: Everything You Need to Know Before You Say ‘I Do’” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
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https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/author
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
When the tides change (Pt. 2)
Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.
But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!
Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!
Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.
Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed.
Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.
Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.
A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!
Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.
Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.
Until next time, keep your ears open.
With Eyram, the Tale bearer.
