Relationship
How to make your man feel special
Repair the broken item for him
Fix something for him, so the repair doesn’t require him to endure the hassle of doing it himself. It doesn’t need to be anything major such as getting the brakes on his car. The fix could be as easy as having that drill repaired or replacing the damaged battery of the watch.
As men are known to forget all the tasks they have to do at the final minute, he’ll be grateful to you for doing the work for him, because despite having to, he is aware that he’ll never complete everything he’s got to. In addition, he’ll be thinking of you each time he makes use of the things you’ve repaired for him and boast about the competent and trustworthy girlfriend you are to all his buddies.
Make him feel special by inviting him on a date
It’s typically him who surprises you with new date ideas, So why not try to surprise him? Both of you have been working all week, and when the weekend comes around and you can turn his invitation to dinner at an expensive hotel off and instead invite him to your home to eat dinner.
Do not inform him of your plans beforehand and let him be caught completely off guard by the efforts you put into planning an unforgettable evening with great food, candles, and his favourite music.
Buy him flowers
Another reason is why it has to be that he showers you with presents and flowers? You can break the tradition by taking flowers to him personally or any other type of plant that can ease some tension and bring it to his office. Men love flowers- they also have a sense of scent (no matter how they are).
Bring food to him in his home
Nothing says “I love you” more than as much as steaming Papa John’s pizza, or buying an ice bucket filled with his favourite flavour of Ben & Jerry’sV, because haven’t we all ever heard of it? The path to a man’s heart lies through the stomach.
Make sure to find something on his bucket list and do it for him
We all had bucket lists as children that we never got around to finishing, so find the one you have and then set your sights to achieve something. For instance, you could watch the sunset or lie in the night with him. He’ll not forget going the extra mile to achieve something you wanted to do badly.
Find the ingredients for his most-loved cocktail and have them waiting when he returns home
Sometimes just a drink will suffice to relax and let his mind drift off after a tiring working day. And his preferred drink can make the experience more enjoyable.
Take a day off
A day or two later, without reason whatsoever, you’ll take a sick call and encourage him to take a sick call also so that both of you can have a day watching films together, eating food at a restaurant, and spending time with each other.
Write him a note
Make notes to him and put them in his pocket or in his day planner so that he can locate them later and be reminded of the person who wrote them. As cheesy as it sounds, however, the right words could assist him in navigating difficult days.
Source: www.dreamyhub.com
Relationship
The role of employment status, wealth, geographical location in divorce
Several research findings have identified factors likely to account for divorce. These factors include (but are not limited to):
1. Employment Status and Income Levels of Individuals
Several research on the employment status of married individuals have identified how it influences marital stability. If the husband is employed, the likelihood of the marriage ending in divorce is low.
The is because, as the head, he would be in a better position to provide for the family’s needs, strengthening the family and increasing their standard of living (Lee, unpublished).
On the contrary, women who are employed are at risk of having a higher divorce rate, particularly when they find themselves in unhappy marriages.
This is because they can afford to be independent and cater for their children (Becker, Landes & Michael, 1977; Oppenheimer, 1997; Sayer & Bianchi, 2000). Moore’s (1994) argument also supports the fact that women’s divorce risks increase as they find themselves in highly time-demanding occupations outside the home. This is because they might be unable to devote ample time to their spouses and children.
Despite these findings, I know of a good number of women who are doing their best to maintain some balance between their married life and their work. I highly commend such women for their extra efforts on behalf of their families.
2. Wealth
Research shows that the individuals’ wealth status could either increase or decrease the probability of divorce. Some scholars (Kurderk, 1993 and Rootalu, 2010) indicated that when individuals are more affluent and wealthy, marriage stability is compromised because couples could easily afford the costs involved in the divorce process.
Others also suggest that individuals who are not wealthy (especially women) are at lower risk of divorce than more prosperous women (Ambert, 2002).
3. Geographical Location or Type of Residential Place
Geographic location and its characteristics could impact your marriage’s stability. Several studies on the location of residence have shown that married couples who live in urban communities are more likely to experience divorce than their rural counterparts (Adegoke, 2010; Adedokun, 1998).
According to Takyi (2001) and Moore (1994), urbanisation undermines African marriages.
Characteristics dominant in urban communities, such as the preference for conjugal union over the extended family and the increasing number of women in restrictive and time-consuming employment setups, have been argued to weaken the foundation of families and marriages.
This is because the conjugal family type does not allow for the involvement of other extended family members except for the immediate family (nuclear family). The immediate family is mainly made up of the married couple and their children; hence, there is less opportunity for the involvement of other members of the other family.
Indeed, it matters a lot how much your in-laws are involved in your marriage (in a healthy way, without much interference).
Modernisation in Africa is destroying the benefits that could have been derived from couples’ healthy relationships with the extended family.
Oppong (1992) supported this argument that African modernisation has led to the type of urbanisation, encouraging wide separation from extended families. Unfortunately, urbanisation supports an individualistic living arrangement (devoid of considerations for other families).
It is not surprising that a good number of researchers confirm that urban divorce rates exceed rural areas’ rates.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “PREPARING FOR A HAPPY AND FULFILLING MARRIAGE: Everything You Need to Know Before You Say ‘I Do’” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
When the tides change (Pt. 2)
Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.
But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!
Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!
Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.
Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed.
Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.
Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.
A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!
Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.
Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.
Until next time, keep your ears open.
With Eyram, the Tale bearer.
