Check yourselves: Don’t blame wives for infertility …Catholic priest advises husbands

● Reverend Father Ignatius Ayivor(standing), delivering his homily

Often, when a couple is battling infertility, the finger is pointed at the wives.

Sometimes, even husbands who are the real cause of the problems will sit aloof and leave the women to their fate to be chastised by society.

This development is of concern to the Parish Priest of the St. Augustine Catholic Church in Ashaiman, Reverend Father Ignatius Ayivor SVD, who has described the situ­ation as one that has com­pelled many women to resort to unthinkable solutions to redeem themselves.

“Some husbands cannot produce healthy sperms but blame it on their wives. Your reproductive system might be defective, but you will not go and check it. Your sperms are not correct; find out, and don’t blame it on your wife,” he said.

He said it was despicable that such men, instead of seeking medical attention, would rather join others in calling their wives “barren.”

Delivering his homily last Sunday at the Church in Ashaiman in the Greater Accra Region, he said such wives, who knew they have been left to fight the battle of concep­tion alone, become desperate and d from place to place.

He said the most disturb­ing thing was their vulnerabil­ity, which drove them to fall into the hands of fake pastors whom they least suspected of leading them into destruc­tion.

The parish priest said some people called them­selves pastors took advantage of the hopeless women and even ended up sleeping with them under the guise of offer­ing them a solution to their challenges.

He said such women, who were usually hypnotised, end up getting pregnant as they desire, but the children do not belong to their husbands.

He said some pastors claim to be praying for the women and suggest deliverance and hypnotise them, and by the time they (the women) came back to their senses, they (the pastors) would have done what they (the pastors) want­ed with them.

“Some women cannot even remember what happened to them (during the supposed prayers), but they cannot tell anyone about it,” he said, because of fear, guilt, or shame, and have to live with that burden for the rest of their lives.

Rev. Fr. Ayivor cautioned men who prefer to sit on the fence when their marriages are battling infertility that they are likely to end up “with a pastor’s child” in their homes.

He said such men should not be surprised if, after a DNA test, they find out that the children in their homes are not theirs.

He said it was about time husbands became fully in­volved in the journey of deal­ing with infertility with their wives to save their marriages and the poor wives from such temptations.

The parish priest also advised women to be vigilant and focused and not resort to moving from place to place to prevent them from get­ting into the hands of wrong people.

He said it was important they pursued medical atten­tion and prayed on their own for God’s intervention instead of following recommendations that could cause them prob­lems in the future.

He advised the church members to get more edu­cation about issues on the subject of infertility because science and medicine had evolved over the years and could give them options that could favour them.

He also called on society to be supportive and show mercy to people who need help and not add to their pain.

 By Dzifa Tetteh Tay