Fruitful Living
Institution of Marriage in Islam (Pt.2)
Imam Abdulai – Author
Rights and Responsibilities of Husband and Wife in Islamic Marriage
Islam defines the roles and responsibilities of spouses in a balanced way, emphasising mutual respect and kindness.
The husband is responsible for providing financial support (nafaqah) to his wife and family, as mentioned in the Qur’an: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means” (Qur’an 4:34).
On the other hand, the wife’s primary responsibility is managing the household and caring for the children. However, these roles are not fixed, and Islam encourages cooperation and shared responsibilities, depending on the circumstances of the family.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advised husbands to treat their wives kindly: “The best among you are those who are best to their wives” (Tirmidhi, 1162).
This underscores the principle of mutual kindness, respect, and care that must be the foundation of every Islamic marriage.
Criteria for Selecting a Spouse in Islam
Islam provides clear guidance on the criteria for selecting a spouse, ensuring that the foundation of the marriage is based on piety, character, and compatibility.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So marry the one who is religious, may you be blessed!” (Bukhari, 5090; Muslim, 1466).
This hadith further indicates that while wealth, beauty, and family status may be factors in choosing a spouse, the most important consideration should be religious commitment. A person who is deeply connected to their faith is more likely to maintain a strong moral character and fulfill their responsibilities in marriage.
For men, the Qur’an provides guidance on selecting a righteous wife:
“So marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]” (Qur’an 4:3).
This verse emphasises the importance of fairness and justice in marriage. While polygamy is permitted in Islam, it is conditioned upon the man’s ability to treat all wives equally, financially, and emotionally.
For women, it is important to seek a husband who exhibits good character and a strong connection to his faith. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advised: “If a man comes to you and you are satisfied with his religion and character, marry him. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth” (Tirmidhi, 1084).
The emphasis on piety and good character ensure that the couple will be able to support each other in their religious obligations and build a harmonious household.
Sexual Relationship in Islam and Proper Conduct
In Islam, the sexual relationship between a husband and wife is viewed as an important aspect of marriage that fosters love, intimacy, and emotional closeness.
Sexual relations within marriage are not only lawful but encouraged, as long as they are conducted within the ethical boundaries set by Islam. Allah (SWT) says: “Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation, however, you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers” (Qur’an 2:223).
This verse highlights the lawful and permissible nature of sexual intimacy between married couples. It also emphasises that sexual relationships should be a means of fostering mutual satisfaction, love, and moral growth.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) instructed Muslims to maintain modesty and respect in their intimate relations, stressing the importance of mutual pleasure between spouses.
Regarding sexual intimacy, it is also prohibited for a wife to demand money or gifts before allowing her husband to engage in sexual relations. Islam views this as a form of exploitation and sin. A marital relationship must be based on mutual love, respect, and affection rather than material gain.
Prohibition of Sexual Intercourse during Menstruation
Islam has clear guidelines regarding sexual relations during certain times, particularly when a woman is menstruating. The Qur’an prohibits sexual intercourse during menstruation, stating:
By Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai, 1BN – Michel Camp