Relationship
Marriage is a lifelong commitment
Marriage is a lifelong commitment; God joins the husband and wife together and only death will disjoin them. Commitment is not a ‘sexy’ word or concept; but it probably has more to do with making marriages work than anything else.
It is not just about saying marriage vows nor having a piece of paper that says ‘marriage license.’ Commitment is important because we act differently when we know that our futures are tied together.
You may dodge a difficult conversation if you are aware that your time with that person is limited. In the face of growing discontent or your partner’s behaviour becoming increasingly irritating, you may decide to end the relationship and search for a new love that brings joy and fulfillment.
However, commitment means you have promised to stay and work it through, not just today but forever. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Although this might at first sound limiting, it actually brings great freedom and depth.
No longer does the committed person need to weigh which person or way of life will bring more happiness. Once committed, all one’s energy goes into making this commitment work.
No longer are other possibilities a distraction. The two major stages of commitment are making the initial commitment and keeping the commitment.
Marriage as a lifelong commitment also implies that you love your spouse enough to make a decision to stay married “until death do us part.” In other words, divorce is not an option in your mind.
At some point, a husband and wife need to ‘decide’ to love—even when they do not feel like it. Lifetime commitment is an understanding that marriage is created by God and it is meant to be permanent.
Jesus Christ reiterated the permanence of marriage. Matthew 19:3-6 (NIV) says:
“Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
In the above passage, Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees, who aim to test his views on divorce. They ask if it is permissible for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, hoping to trap Jesus into contradicting the Law.
However, Jesus cleverly redirects their attention to the creation account in Genesis, highlighting God’s original design for marriage. Jesus emphasises that marriage is a divine union, instituted by God, where a man and woman become one flesh. This union is not merely a human contract but a sacred bond ordained by the Creator.
By citing Genesis 2:24, Jesus underscores the permanence of this union, emphasising that the two become one flesh, no longer separate entities.
By saying, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate,” Jesus affirms that marriage is a lifelong commitment, sanctified by God’s divine hand.
He is not merely addressing the Pharisees’ question about divorce but rather upholding the sacredness and indissolubility of marriage.
In the passage, Jesus:
a. Affirms God’s creation design for marriage (Genesis 2:24)
b. Emphasises the unity and oneness of marriage (becoming one flesh)
c. Highlights the divine origin and sanctioning of marriage (what God has joined together)
d. Implies the permanence and indissolubility of marriage (let no one separate)
Marriage is a commitment you make for life. It is a permanent lifelong relationship. Understanding marriage as a lifelong commitment even when it is hard and painful is the biblical understanding of marriage.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)