Relationship
Marriage is an emotional union
Marriage can be seen as an emotional union because it involves two people committing to each other in a deep and meaningful way. The emotional connection between spouses is a fundamental aspect of any healthy marriage. Emotional intimacy, trust, and support are all essential components of a happy and lasting marriage.
When two people decide to get married, they are making a commitment to share their lives with each other, which includes sharing their emotional states. This emotional connection can be established through: 1. communication, 2. trust, 3. conflict resolution, 4. shared experiences, and 5. empathic understanding.
1. Communication:
As earlier stated, one of the most important aspects of emotional connection in marriage is communication. Effective communication involves not only expressing one’s thoughts and feelings but also listening actively and empathetically to one’s spouse. Good communication is a key ingredient in building trust and intimacy in a marriage.
2. Trust:
Trust is also a vital element of emotional connection in marriage. Trust involves being reliable and consistent in one’s behaviour, as well as being transparent and honest with one’s spouse. When spouses trust each other, they feel more secure and comfortable being vulnerable with each other, which can deepen their emotional bond.
3. Conflict resolution:
Another important aspect of emotional connection in marriage is the ability to manage conflict effectively. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how spouses handle conflict can either strengthen or weaken their emotional bond. Healthy conflict management involves active listening, expressing oneself respectfully, and working together to find a solution that meets both spouses’ needs.
4. Shared experiences:
In addition to communication, trust, and conflict management, emotional connection in marriage is also built through shared experiences and creating a sense of shared meaning. This can involve things like shared hobbies or interests, participating in community service together, or creating traditions and rituals that hold special meaning for the couple.
5. Empathic understanding:
One important component of emotional connection in marriage is the ability to show empathy and understanding towards one’s spouse. This involves recognising and validating one’s spouse’s feelings, even if you do not necessarily agree with them. When partners feel heard and understood, they are more likely to feel emotionally connected and supported.
However, it is important to note that not all marriages are emotionally fulfilling. Sometimes, couples may find they have grown apart emotionally, or they are unable to meet each other’s emotional needs. In these cases, it may be necessary to seek professional counselling. You can contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) for professional help. Seek professional counselling when you find you have grown apart emotionally, or you’re unable to meet each other’s emotional needs in the marriage.
Marriage is a complex and multifaceted union, and emotional connection is just one aspect of it. Beyond emotional intimacy, marriage also involves spiritual, physical, financial, and social connections between spouses. In a healthy marriage, spouses support and encourage each other’s growth, and work together to navigate life’s challenges.
Marriage can be a deeply emotional, happy, fulfilling and lasting union when both spouses are committed to nurturing their emotional connection and building a strong foundation for their relationship. Spouses in a healthy marriage strive to understand and support each other, even during difficult times. Emotional connection in marriage does not necessarily mean spouses have to share every single emotion and thought with each other. It is okay to have some level of individuality and privacy in a marriage.
It is important to note that emotional connection in marriage does not necessarily mean spouses have to share every single emotion and thought with each other. It is okay to have some level of individuality and privacy in a marriage. However, as spouses, you should strive to maintain an emotional connection by regularly checking in with each other and making time for each other.
Finally, it is vital to recognise that emotional connection in marriage is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process. It requires effort, commitment, and a willingness to be vulnerable with each other. By prioritising emotional connection in your marriage, you and your spouse can build a strong foundation for a happy, lasting and fulfilling marital relationship.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
The role of employment status, wealth, geographical location in divorce
Several research findings have identified factors likely to account for divorce. These factors include (but are not limited to):
1. Employment Status and Income Levels of Individuals
Several research on the employment status of married individuals have identified how it influences marital stability. If the husband is employed, the likelihood of the marriage ending in divorce is low.
The is because, as the head, he would be in a better position to provide for the family’s needs, strengthening the family and increasing their standard of living (Lee, unpublished).
On the contrary, women who are employed are at risk of having a higher divorce rate, particularly when they find themselves in unhappy marriages.
This is because they can afford to be independent and cater for their children (Becker, Landes & Michael, 1977; Oppenheimer, 1997; Sayer & Bianchi, 2000). Moore’s (1994) argument also supports the fact that women’s divorce risks increase as they find themselves in highly time-demanding occupations outside the home. This is because they might be unable to devote ample time to their spouses and children.
Despite these findings, I know of a good number of women who are doing their best to maintain some balance between their married life and their work. I highly commend such women for their extra efforts on behalf of their families.
2. Wealth
Research shows that the individuals’ wealth status could either increase or decrease the probability of divorce. Some scholars (Kurderk, 1993 and Rootalu, 2010) indicated that when individuals are more affluent and wealthy, marriage stability is compromised because couples could easily afford the costs involved in the divorce process.
Others also suggest that individuals who are not wealthy (especially women) are at lower risk of divorce than more prosperous women (Ambert, 2002).
3. Geographical Location or Type of Residential Place
Geographic location and its characteristics could impact your marriage’s stability. Several studies on the location of residence have shown that married couples who live in urban communities are more likely to experience divorce than their rural counterparts (Adegoke, 2010; Adedokun, 1998).
According to Takyi (2001) and Moore (1994), urbanisation undermines African marriages.
Characteristics dominant in urban communities, such as the preference for conjugal union over the extended family and the increasing number of women in restrictive and time-consuming employment setups, have been argued to weaken the foundation of families and marriages.
This is because the conjugal family type does not allow for the involvement of other extended family members except for the immediate family (nuclear family). The immediate family is mainly made up of the married couple and their children; hence, there is less opportunity for the involvement of other members of the other family.
Indeed, it matters a lot how much your in-laws are involved in your marriage (in a healthy way, without much interference).
Modernisation in Africa is destroying the benefits that could have been derived from couples’ healthy relationships with the extended family.
Oppong (1992) supported this argument that African modernisation has led to the type of urbanisation, encouraging wide separation from extended families. Unfortunately, urbanisation supports an individualistic living arrangement (devoid of considerations for other families).
It is not surprising that a good number of researchers confirm that urban divorce rates exceed rural areas’ rates.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “PREPARING FOR A HAPPY AND FULFILLING MARRIAGE: Everything You Need to Know Before You Say ‘I Do’” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
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https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/author
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
When the tides change (Pt. 2)
Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.
But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!
Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!
Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.
Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed.
Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.
Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.
A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!
Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.
Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.
Until next time, keep your ears open.
With Eyram, the Tale bearer.
