Marriage is scary

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am always attracted by the nice looks of couples who go out for a walk and engage in programmes to entertain themselves.

Love, tolerance and perseverance are the essential ingredients which make marriage stick together in a memorable bond.

Unfortunately, there are instances of couples taking  these qualities for granted and do whatever they like.    

I was lucky to be close to my elder sister with whom l shared my aspirations, sentiments and sometimes secrets and sought her advice.    

She was in a relationship with a man who was her senior in the university and who occupied her mind at that time. 

This gentleman was known and loved by every member of the family and some of us were of the view that their marriage would be a memorable one from which others will derive immense inspiration.

I was not surprised when this man approached my parents that he would like to ask of my sister’s hand in marriage and pleaded for a list of items required to perform the customary rites.  

However, my sister’s expectations fell short of her lover when she informed him that she was pregnant. He suggested that my sister should abort the pregnancy to enable them to prepare a comfortable foundation for a happy marriage.

My sister reluctantly succumbed to abort the pregnancy only to realise a few weeks later that her lover was ready to wed another lady.

The situation has made my sister to develop hatred for men and she has vowed never to entertain any man for a relationship.

Can men be trusted in a circumstance like this?   

Akosua, Accra.

Dear Akosua,

The abuse of trust as in your sister’s case is unfortunate and should not be encouraged.  Your sister is fortunate to be in a sound mind despite the misfortune that has befallen her.

This gentleman’s character suggests that he was dating two ladies at the same time but took undue advantage of your sister. He should have compensated your sister for the inconvenience caused her.

Your sister should have asked for compensation from him to commensurate the inconvenience he had caused her.

This gentleman has not acted in good faith and should not be trusted. It, therefore, suggest that your sister will not forgive him if she is unable to conceive because of the abortion.

I would like to assure you that the lives of other couples should serve as a source of encouragement for your sister and she will get a good partner in life.