Political gimmicking in Sikaman

The political temperature is rising slowly and political aspirants are busy palpitating and getting hypertensive. Some are already having running stomachs; Jesus Christ! The problem with politics is that it is hard­ly good for radiant health. The stress can be unbearable.

The run-up to the December polls is seeing quite interesting happenings and it is common to see a politician in a new pair of shoes and a new coat, most likely procured from the first-se­lection base at Kantamanto. A good ironing is all he needs to pretend it is imported from France.

Others are not too fussy about coats. Instead, they are making sure that they spot the latest haircut to match a lively moustache. The ladies are not being left out. Check out the hairdos, the manicure and pedicure. And when they walk, they do so with measured political steps.

Indeed, with some of the women, it can be an exercise aimed at defying the laws of gravity. They can actually suspend themselves above sea level soon after they start strutting along with the majesty of a peacock.

Politics and democratic politicking have brought about style in human ambulation and pomposity in common mobility. So be it!

APPETITE

But behind all the flamboyance and masquerade is the fear of the uncertain, which is a factor that is easily identified as the cause of those who have lost appetite for food lately and are suffering a rise in their blood pressures. But they needn’t worry. Politics is only a game.

From now till December, doctors do not need laboratory tests to make a prognosis or diagnosis of disease, if the patient is a politician. The man has spent almost half-a-billion cedis to become a parliamentarian and if he doesn’t win, he is likely to hang him­self. So he certainly must be suffering from acute hypertension. If the doctor is a seer he can also prophesy stroke if the polls go against the patient.

So the patient must be advised to cool down. Instead of fretting, he should rather fast and pray and hope that God listens to prayers, especially the prayers of politicians.

There are, however, some catego­ries of politicians who really do not care whether they lose or not. They are the current parliamentarians who have complained of late about their pay. They cannot even pay their car loans. And the grandeur with which parliamentary position goes has ap­parently not manifested in their case.

All that parliamentary position has brought them is the obligation they have to fulfil in paying the school fees of people they don’t even like and attending funerals of people who have once offended them, but which they must attend and donate cash for the sake of their political longevity.

Now the political landscape is reg­istering the activity of carpet crossers and defectors who are first looking carefully at their stomachs in order to evaluate whether or not it is worth turning coat.

No doubt, the stomach has be­come a political organ of the human body and has long since stopped being an anatomical component, es­pecially when elections are due.

But it isn’t everybody who defects because of bread and butter. Some defect because they feel they are in the wrong ideological camp or can no longer be pleasant bedfellows with their long-time compatriots. Others think old foes can now reason with them better.

CARPET

By far, the most likely reason why anyone can have to cross car­pets, is the hope of clinching a post if the other party wins. But that will depend on whether the party indeed wins, if you ask Inusah, he can describe the feeling. It is a risk that needs to be taken with a lion’s heart; it can turn out to be a tragic experience, a disastrous decision of a life-time.

Defectors are actively announcing their new plans and hoping they are on the right track.

But it is always good to consult people like Inusah before making the open declarations. It can shatter your entire political future! At any rate, defections are part of democratic politicking and people are always welcomed from other side even if they look like spies.

Now, the good thing about the 2004 elections is that many dance styles are emerging. I hear they are being choreographed to suit the pre-and-election 2004 periods

The ‘Kufuor Dance’ is one, a slow but funky variation that should precede the voting. The Elephant Dance’ is a more vigorous boogie that needs four solid balls of kenkey to execute. It is a powerful dance form that should feature as an NPP victory dance.

BELLY DANCE

The Mills Highlife Dance is an ‘asomdwe’ pre-election choreogra­phy that should cool down tension before voting. But it is the Rawlings Belly Dance’ that will be the victory boogie, a very creative form of the popular belly dance that involves the gyration of the waist interspersed with staccato steps and gimmicks.

Certainly, these dance forms will be premiered at rallies, so that supporters can rehearse them before voting.

The race itself looks like a straight-forward one between NPP and NDC. As for CPP and the Grand Coalition, we can only wish them well.

In any political contest, the incumbent naturally stands a bet­ter chance of winning, but nothing is very certain till all the votes are counted. The party that wins will have a very grand Christmas

What ‘Sikaman Palava’ wish for all is a fair contest and a peace after­math.

Everybody is calling peace, be­cause it is the dear thing to lose. And peace cannot prevail when we watch the tongue. For the tongue is more power than petrol and a lighted match put together.

This article was first published on October 30, 2004