Premarital counseling: some topics you should discuss

• Love is selfless

Many couples forgo premarital counseling. They feel like their love is “strong enough” to forgo any possible relationship landmines hidden in that particular prenuptial activity. That may be true. But most married couples will tell you: Communication is everything. So, the higher the postnuptial disappointment and divorce numbers climb, the more therapy and solid communication prior to “I do” seem to make sense.

What are the key topics partners should talk about before heading down the aisle?

Consider the following vital premarital discussions:

The meaning of the marriage commitment.

Why do you want to marry each other? Express what you believe about marriage and how you think it will benefit your lives. Share which behaviors you believe are off-limits in your marriage and those you hope to incorporate. Discuss how you are willing to protect and honor your commitment.

Your individual and combined goals and aspirations.

Discuss the life goals that matter most to you. Clearly lay out your strategies for the short and long-term. What career, community, and family objectives mean most? Consider what you both think will be necessary in the way of planning and sacrifice to achieve them.

Your relationship expectations.

Often partners don’t realize how dissimilar their perceptions and expectations are for overall marital satisfaction. Talk about how you hope to support and be supported. How much togetherness and time alone makes you comfortable? Are you willing to honor agreements regarding time allotted for work, recreation, and intimacy? How important will personal hobbies, friendships, and family time be in your daily life?

Your ideas regarding family planning or family blending.

If, how, and when you start a family is a crucial discussion prior to marriage. Be sure you are on the same page regarding your willingness to have and raise children. How many would you like to have? How will you handle potential challenges in making that a reality? How will you handle parenting children from previous relationships? Will you take preventative measures until you’re both ready? Discuss openly the child-rearing philosophies, values, and disciplinary measures that are important to you.

To be continued…

Source: www.drduegertherapy.com