Some helpful New Year’s resolutions for couples (final)

Endeavour to achieve your resolutions copy

[Continued from last week]

Look for solutions to arguments.

Do your arguments get heated? One of the ways that couples may exacerbate their disagreements is by bringing other topics into the conver­sation. Stay on point. Rather than allowing a small issue to blow up, look for a solution that works for both of you.

I often see couples argue the same points, It’s worth seeing if you are missing im­portant issues. For instance, one friend’s partner is upset about coming to a messy home while the friend feels that he is being fussy. What she is missing is that they probably have different val­ues. When she dismisses this value, he feels disrespected. The solution may be to work out a way the housework is easier for both of them.

Share your triumphs with them.

Picture the scene: Your manager calls you into their office and offers you a promotion. It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for all year. You’re over the moon. Once you leave their office, who is the first person you text? It might be your parents or even your best friend. If you’re leaving your partner out of the loop, though, that could be a problem.

We can take our partners for granted or not share important information with them. If we don’t prioritise our partner, this will be de­structive to the connection. It can leave it open for them to meet someone who is more interested in them.

Plan a vacation together.

When was the last time you and your partner got away from the hum-drum of everyday life? If you can’t recall your last break, call up the travel agents. Taking weekends away or breaks can help couples begin to love, laugh, and have sex again.

Of course, this needs to be done in a way that works for you. You could even take a break in your own home and plan walks, time in bed, a massage while turning off your phones. The message to your partner is clear: you are important to me. I know marriages that have become revitalised by weekends away.”

Find some mutual friends.

Date nights are all well and good, but sometimes you might prefer hanging out in a group setting. That’s where mutual friends slide neatly into your social life. Believe it or not, having a bunch of people who know you as a couple could strengthen your connection.

Couples can suffer from shame especially if there are any difficulties with family acceptance or feelings about not being good enough. But mutual friends can promote the best in you both. You have a certain energy as a couple and it can be healing to have that love appreciated and recognised.

Show some gratitude to each other.

Taking your partner for granted? If you’ve been together for a long time, you may forget to show how much you appreciate your other half. The daily grind, worries, and your hectic social life can all get in the way of letting your partner know that you value them.

You can start small. Even one specific appreciation expressed daily can change the atmosphere of your con­nection. Sure, you might not believe every word you’re saying at first, but give it time. “Try it out. Of course, this works better if you truly mean it but it’s always good to start the practice any­way.”

Let go of old grudges.

Out with the old, in with the new—that should be your mantra this year. If you’re holding on to grudges from previous years, do both yourself and your partner a favour. Figure out how you can let them go. Moving on isn’t always straightforward but it’s sure to enhance your bond.

Resentment pollutes the atmosphere between people. We often can’t simply forgive and may need to be heard by the other. Find a way of releasing past pain. You can start by getting in touch with your feelings and writing about them, seeing a coun­sellor, or expressing them to someone you trust.

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