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Specialist’s advice: Allow couples to have children at their convenience
● Dr. Francisca Tshitenge Bwalya
The decision to meddle in people’s marriages with specific demands or directives that sometimes result in breaking up marriages has done more harm to society than good.
While some have quietly gone through promptings and insults, others could not withstand the pressure and have died.
The decision by a couple not to have children or to wait for a convenient time to do so should be respected by society, according to consultant psychiatrist Dr. Francisca Tshitenge Bwalya.
She observed that, sadly, people ask questions even a month after marriage and comment on physical changes in women, the most prominent of which is a weight gain.
Dr. Bwalya noted that this behaviour, whether known or unknown to those who do so, puts a lot of stress on women, which has also extended to men.
“Usually the comments from such persons are very touching and degrading,” she said.
Dr. Bwalya said the external interference with time reduced the self-esteem of people, made them feel like failures, caused depression and guilt, developed fear and anxiety, and other negative tendencies that could even affect them later in life when they are ready to conceive.
She made the statement at a virtual health training for the media organised by the Merck Foundation in partnership with the First Lady, Mrs. Rebecca Akufo-Addo, an Ambassador for the Merck Foundation’s “More than a Mother” campaign, and the Ghana Journalists Association (GJA).
The training was aimed at emphasising the important role the media plays in influencing society to create a cultural shift with the aim of breaking the stigma of infertility, among other issues.
The Consultant Psychiatrist said it was about time people appreciated that having a child was a huge responsibility and so needed preparations that included psychological, physical, and financial considerations, among others, and that these should ideally be the sole decision of a couple and not the society.
She observed that the thought of voluntary childfree status was not culturally accepted, but there was a need for the discussion about such decisions to be given much attention, as people deserved to be accorded the needed respect when they made such choices.
Dr. Bwalya said it was worth highlighting that women had a lot in them to contribute in diverse ways to building society, and so they should not be reduced to just having babies.
She said if a woman could not have a baby, she should not be seen as a failure by her community, but the value she was adding to society should be given much attention and celebrated.
Dr. Bwalya, therefore, called on the media to champion the campaign to change the narrative.
By Dzifa Tetteh Tay.