The Prophet part 3

In anticipation of a sizeable offer­ing, he had brought a big silver bowl and placed it close to the ‘pulpit’. He kept glancing at it in the course of the service and noted with satisfac­tion that it was ‘doing very well’.

By the close of the service it was full. Immediately the final ‘Amen’ was said, he grabbed it and placed it close to his new desk. He managed to extricate himself from the people who wanted to thank him or shake his hands, and sat down to attend to the people who had lined up to consult him.

He gave them the required ‘direc­tions’, taking appropriate fees after invoking special prayers. The last person to consult him was Mr. Kwame Dofu, who had specifically asked to be the last.

‘Osofo’, he started, ‘I wanted to discuss a special business with you, that is why I asked to see you last. I am in the gold business. There is big money in it, but there is also com­petition, so many of the people in it are using all kinds of powers. I came to ask for your special assistance. I want to win the confidence with the foreigners who come to buy gold, and the foreign big men at the mines who are able to give us big business. If you are able to help me, I will give you a very big reward. I have two friends who will also need your help. I will bring them too’.

‘Don’t worry, Mr. Dofu. I can help you. Give me two days to prepare, and come back for the necessary directions. You will certainly do big business’.

‘I knew you will help, Osofo. I am very glad I came to see you. Now, here is five hundred cedis for your petrol. When I come in three days’ time I will prepare fully’.

Now, Papa Antubam told himself, why did I wait so long to start this business. Only a few days, and things couldn’t be better. Wow!

He remembered that there was money to be counted. He moved to pick the big bowl, but two young smiling ladies stepped forward.

‘Osofo, we wanted to ask your permission to count it. I am Mary, and she is Suzzie’.

‘That’s very kind of you’, he said. ‘Please go ahead, but before that, please go to the lady at the kiosk over there and ask her to give you the cold box I left with her’. They brought it, and as they counted the money, Papa Antubam sipped two bottles of beer, which he had re-labeled as Sprite Or­ange Drink, just in case some inquisi­tive busybody asked stupid questions.

‘They finished, presented the neat­ly packed notes and coins to him’.

‘Osofo, it adds up to three thou­sand, three hundred and two cedis’.

‘Thank you very much, beautiful ladies’. Take a hundred cedis each for your kind effort. They gratefully accepted the offer, and were moving away when Antubam called them back.

‘Now, Mary and Suzzie, which one of you is married?’

‘We are both unmarried’, Suzzie said.

‘In that case, there is something you must do for me. You know this is a new church. You already know what miracles have started happening here. Bigger things are about to hap­pen. Now, I want you two to be with me. I will give you senior positions in the church. And I will take care of all your needs. Fortunately, you are both very good looking. From today, you belong to me. What do you say to what I have just said?

The two ladies looked at each other for a minute, and smiled.

‘We agree, Osofo’.

‘Fantastic! Now take the money to my place, and since we are all hungry and tired, buy something nice for us to eat, and let’s see what interesting things the afternoon will do for us’.

The girls picked up the money bowl and followed him to his house. They dropped the items, collected money and left to buy the take-away food.

‘Now Suzzie’, Mary said to her friend, ‘what have we led ourselves into? We only wanted to pinch a few cedis, now we have agreed to be his wives, or is it concubines?’

‘You surprise me, Mary. This is the nicest thing that ever happened to us. How much did you pinch, by the way?’

‘250 cedis. Not bad at all for an hour’s work? But how can the two of us be his wives? Suzzie, what will peo­ple think? Did we go to the church for God’s help or to practice polygamy?’

‘You don’t get the point, Mary. Lis­ten, this is no church. Any pastor who drinks alcohol disguised as orange juice and proposes to two congre­gants on the first day is no pastor. He is doing business with the church, thanks to some village jujuman. And as you clearly saw, he is overwhelmed by the money flowing. So we will help him. And I can assure you, he will not get even a kiss from either of us.’

‘How will we do that? He is a man, and we have agreed to be his wives’.

‘Give me just one hour. I’ll show you’.

They bought the food, and Mary also bought a bottle of Zap Whisky Medium. They laid the table.

‘Osofo, I brought a nice appetiz­er for you. You know your work is tedious, and you need to save some energy for tomorrow.’

‘Er, er, normally I stay away from alcohol, but you have a point, let me try just a little. Mary dropped small amounts into his glass, and by the time they finished eating, half of the drink was gone.

‘Osofo, I suggest we get a solid briefcase with a lock to keep your money. You should open a bank account. We’ll make payments into it, and you can sign cheques anytime you need money. For now we’ll record the denominations and the amount, then I’ll wrap it up – you can keep it under your mattress. Let me top your drink’.

‘You are so thoughtful, Mary. How can I thank you?’

As the girls pretended to be doing some serious calculations, Papa Antu­bam eased himself on the bed, hoping that the girls would soon join him for some fun. Within a short while, he was fast asleep, snoring rhythmically. The girls tucked the money under his bed, closed the door and went out of the house.

‘And how long are we going to keep this up, Suzzie?’

‘Not for very long. Very soon all kinds of women, single and married, would be fighting over him. The mon­ey and spiritual power will attract them. When he realizes that we do not want to have sex with him he will throw us out. By then I would have al­ready set up my shop, and you would have opened your salon’.

‘You have worked it all out have you? You are a real thief’.

‘Me, a thief? Then what do you call Osofo Antobam? Let me tell you, Suzzie. Those people who are using the name of God to make money and use people are real criminals, and I will enjoy everything I do to Anto­bam. And I know your next question. Am I not afraid of his powers? What powers? I don’t fear his fake powers. Let’s go home and get some rest. Tomorrow, we’ll fleece him of a few more cedis’.

By Ekow de Heer