What you should expect to learn in pre-marital counselling

• Pre-marital counselling involves couples coming together for joint therapy sessions

 Many times, pre-marital counsel­ling involves couples or part­ners coming together for joint therapy sessions. Working with a qual­ified marriage counsellor or therapist, you will learn skills to help improve your relationship as a couple.

At the same time, it is not all pre-marital counselling that leads to marriage. It is possible that certain discoveries (and major red flags) could emerge during the counselling ses­sions, and for that reason one of you may want to discontinue the marriage process so as to avoid any future regrets.

From my experience and profes­sional practice, I would say that no matter how painful it is to break up a relationship prior to marriage; it is still far better to do that than to break up your marriage relationship.

The marriage breakup has more serious implications than any pain that could emerge from relationship break up.

In some instances, the specific topics to be explored and skills to be developed in your pre-marital counsel­ling sessions will depend on your needs as a couple.

Despite this, I would give you all the topics and skills to expect your counsellor to take you through in order to have a happy and lasting relation­ship.

Even if you are not considering pre-marital counselling at the mo­ment, you can still benefit from these skills and topics. They are also an excellent way to create depth in your conversations and build a solid healthy foundation in the early stages of your relationship.

Not in any specific order, I would like you to take note of these import­ant skills and lessons you will learn in your sessions: 1 understanding the concept of marriage, 2 building a strong foundation for your marriage, 3 examining your expectations leading to your marriage, 4 undergoing medi­cal tests and sometimes mental health assessment, 5 resolving conflicts together, 6 communicating openly and effectively, 7 taking decisions as a couple, 8. building a strong Christian home (if you’re Christians), 9 building transparency and trust, 10 knowing yourselves: your strengths and weak­nesses—and how to improve them, 11 building commitment towards the marriage and each other, 12 accepting your unique roles and responsibilities in your marriage, 13 planning your future together, 14 sexual intimacy in marriage, 15 bearing and raising chil­dren, 16 understanding the concept of love, 17 the role of love languages in experiencing marital happiness, 18 managing your home finances, 19 defining your beliefs and values, 20 adjustments in marriage, 21 balancing love, work, and family life, 22 relating with your in-laws and third parties, 23 creating your unique marriage and family rituals, 24 engaging married couples to learn from them, 25 under­standing divorce and what causes it, 26 Christian view on divorce, 27 pre­paring for your marriage ceremony, 28 planning for your honeymoon and how to maximise it, and finally, 29 making your first year of marriage count.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprin­ceass.wixsite.com/edu-counsel­ing-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAIN­ING INSTITUTE)