Features
ATTITUDE IS ALTITUDE
You may be tempted to ridicule the concept of “attitude adjustment” because it has become the major theme of motivational posters and coaching materials. But there is real power in controlling your attitude, adjusting it to counter moods and stop behaviors that may threaten your ability to live without limits. The psychologist and philosopher William James, who taught at Harvard University, said that one of the greatest discoveries of his generation was the realisation that by changing our attitudes, we can change our lives.
Whether you are aware of it or not, you view the world through your own unique perspectives or attitudes based on your beliefs of what is good or bad, wrong or right, fair or unfair. Your decisions and actions are based on those attitudes, so if what you have been doing isnot working, you have the power to adjust your attitude and change your life.
Think of your attitude as the remote control for your television set. If the program you are watching doesnot do anything for you, then you simply grab the remote and change it. You can adjust your attitude in much the same way when you arenot getting the results you want, no matter what challenges you encounter.
When you experience a tragedy or a personal crisis, it is perfectly normal and probably healthy to go through stages of fear and anger and sadness, hurt at some point we all have to say: “I am still here. Do I want to spend the rest of my life wallowing in misery, or do I want to rise above what has happened to me and pursue my dreams?”
Is it easy to do that? No, it is not. It takes great determination, not to mention a sense of purpose, hope, faith, and the belief that you have talents and skills to share. The age-old, time-proven, undeniable truth is that you and I may have absolutely no control over what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. If we choose the right attitude, we can rise above whatever challenges we face.
You likely will have no control over the next adversity in your life. A windstorm hits your house. A drunk driver crashes into your car. Your employer lays you off. Your significant other says, “I need space.” We are all blindsided from time to time. Be sad, feel bad, but then pull yourself up and ask, “What is next?” Once you have lamented awhile, vented, or shed all the tears in your tank, pull yourself together and make an attitude adjustment.
You would not have the wisdom and knowledge you now possess were it not for the setbacks you have faced and the mistakes you have made, and the suffering you have endured. “Once and for all, come to realise the pain is a teacher and failure is the highway to success,” Robin Sharma commiserates.
POWERING UP
People who are successful, fulfilled, happy cannot be pessimist. That is because optimism is empowering—it gives you control over your emotions. Pessimism weakens your will and allows your moods to control your actions. With an optimistic outlook, you can adjust your attitude to make the best of bad situations. This is sometimes described as “refraining” because while you cannot always change your circumstances, you can change the way you look at them.
When you allow circumstances beyond your control to determine your attitude and actions, you risk plunging into a downward spiral of hasty decisions and faulty judgments, to overreacting, giving up too soon, and missing those opportunities that always—always—appear just when you think life will never get better.
Pessimism and negativity will ensure that you never rise above your circumstances. When you feel your blood boiling due to negative thoughts, tune them out and replace them with more positive and encouraging inner dialogue. Once again Robin Sharma advises that to live happier, more fulfilling lives, when we encounter a difficult circumstance, we must deep shifting our perspective and continually ask ourselves, “Is there a wiser, more enlightened way of looking at this seemingly negative situation?”
Choose attitudes that allowed you to rise above difficult circumstances. There are many attitudes to choose from, but Nick Vujicic believes the most powerful are: (1) An attitude of gratitude (2) An attitude of action (3) An attitude of empathy (4) An attitude of forgiveness
AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
When we feel entitled to the good in life, we feel robbed and outraged when something happens to make us uncomfortable. We then look to blame others and demand that they pay for our discomfort, whatever it might be. In a self-centered state of mind, we become professional victims. Yet pity parties are the most tedious, unproductive, and unrewarding events you could ever attend. You can only listen to “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me” so many times before you want to tear your hair out and run for cover, Nick humors.
You should reject the victim role because there is no future in it. Suffering brings us to a fork in the road, and we can choose the downward path to despair or we can take the hopeful path up the hill by adopting an attitude of gratitude. You may find it difficult at first to be grateful, but if you just decide not to be a victim and take it day by day, strength will come. If you cannit find any aspect of your situation to be grateful for, then focus on good days ahead and express gratitude in advance. This will help build a sense of optimism while getting your mind off the past and looking toward the future.
By choosing an attitude of gratitude over one of victimhood or bitterness or despair, you too can overcome whatever challenges you face. But if you find gratitude hard to come by, there are other approaches that might work for you.
AN ATTITUDE OF ACTION
Sometimes the best method you will find for moving your life out of a rut or over an obstacle is to make life better for yourself or for others. Socrates said, “Let him that would move the world, move himself first.” When it seems like you cannot catch a break, try creating your own. When you have been hit and knocked down by an overwhelming loss or tragedy, allow yourself time to grieve, and then act to create some good out of the bad.
Adopting an attitude of action creates positive momentum. The first steps are the hardest, no doubt about it. Just getting up out of bed may seem impossible at first, but once you are up, you can move forward, and as long as you are moving forward, you are on a path away from the past and toward the future. Go with that. Move ahead step by step. If you have lost someone or something, help someone else or build something else to serve as a memorial and tribute.
One of the most devastating experiences is the loss ofa loved one. Losing a family member or a friendtriggers grief that can cripple us. Other than perhapsbeing glad for having loved them and known themand had time with them, there is little to be gratefulfor in such situations. Nothing prepares us for thegrief that can overwhelm and even paralyze us. Still,some take action so that their terrible loss becomes aforce for good. According to Nick a well-known example is CandyLightner, who channeled her anger and anguish intoaction after her thirteen-year-old daughter was killedby a drunk driver. She founded Mothers AgainstDrunk Driving (MADD), which undoubtedly hassaved many lives through its activism and educationprograms.
Robin Sharma on his part believes that the mark of strong character lies not in doing what is fun to do or what is easy to do. “The sign of deep moral authority appears in the individual who consistently does what he ought to be doing rather than what he feels like doing. A person of true character spends his days doing that which is the right thing to do.”
Features
A call to prayer for Ghana
When you hear of a call to prayer, the people you will least expect to find on the list will be pastors. Surprisingly, these are the group which currently need prayers the most due to recent actions and behaviours associated with them.
I keep saying that when a cart pusher or a carpenter or the ordinary guy on the street, goes to ‘Ashawo’ line at say Circle and is noticed, coming out of that ghetto, it is no news. In fact no reporter worth his sort, will write about it.
However, if one of these known men of God was to be noticed coming out of such ghettos, it is certainly news worthy because he is not supposed to be associated with such behaviour.
In similar manner, the lens through which the actions of a carpenter’s son and I am not demeaning the profession, will be viewed, will not be the same as the lens through which a son of a member parliament, or a son of a public figure will be viewed.
There is a saying that, to whom much is given, much is required and so people in leadership positions must understand this and therefore should take steps to protect their hard won reputation.
Recently, an incident involving the crashing of an over speeding car resulting in the death of two people has become the topic for discussion across the media landscape.
People have expressed diverse opinions, some harsh criticisms, some condemnations and some sympathetic ones. Those who have condemned the pastor for the wrongs of his son has to do with a certain video showing him make certain declarations.
It is alleged that he declared that He drives without any policeman stopping him in Ghana due to his fame or the influence he has.
When such declarations are attributed to you then you can be sure that heavy criticism will come your way, when your son acts in a manner that seems to reflect this re-emphasise this reckless living perception that people have of you.
Then to add salt into injury, church members of the pastor attacks some journalists and the criticisms flies through the roof. The manner, videos apparently showing a pattern of reckless driving by his son started surfacing also infuriated people.
Parenting has become a serious business and people should really consider it as such and seek all the assistance they need to make it a success. The children of this dispensation are exposed to a lot of crazy ideas through television and easy access to the internet.
What they watch is difficult to regulate and that is the danger confronting parents now. There is an urgent need for prayers for the youth of Ghana, so their behaviour will reflect the culture and values of this dear country.
When pastors who should be examples of good parents are woefully failing, then it is time indeed for a call to prayer.
Lessons learnt for all of us has to do with being a bit more curious about the activities of our children when we are not around. We should maintain a certain cordial relations with our neighbours such that they can report to us certain actions or behaviours of our children they feel must be brought to our attention.
A lady shared a story on social media as to why she was being sympathetic to wards the pastor whose son has created this whole buzz. She said she was at her shop, when she had from one of her tenants that her son has taken her vehicle out of the house.
She informed her to quickly organise a taxi and chase after them to stop them. When they were stopped and she asked her son as to why he took the vehicle, he confessed that his friend was going to teach him how to drive.
She said something quite remarkable that, if something terrible had happened, guess what people would have said, given her pedigree in society.
Features
The Dawn Preachers
The dawn of each day marks the transition of darkness into daylight. And according to my friend Weddeye, it is a period when good (light) gradually overcomes bad (darkness).
He adds that this transcient period is of much significance to many people either as a time of sorrow or a time of joy.
Normally, the dawn of every day is the period when most people enjoy their sleep best and snore like thunder. The cool morning air that caresses the body has a soothing effect on the mind and the soul is transported, the nose becomes charged and snoring becomes rather rhythmical but hazardous.
To some, the dawn is the most romantic period of the night when they are inseparably close to their lovers. When daylight sets in they must mandatorily separate. That is a law nature. The dawn is also a period when most people think clearly and rationally except when one is experiencing a hangover. Thinking at dawn normally centres on the payment of school fees, rent, and perhaps, how best to advise Saddam Hussein to stop being a “problem child.”
The social significance of the dawn is well known to most people, especially those who owe sums of money. If you are one of such people, creditors are most likely to attack you at dawn, unless you are clever enough to anticipate the commando-type movement, to escape well before dawn sets in.
But assuming you were sleeping cozy when the creditor arrived and knocked your door. “Who are you,” you are likely to bark. “I am coming to collect my money with interest. No need to mention my name. Immediately I mention it you will develop hernia because the pressure will be too much to bear.”
At this point of time, your first instincts will be to hide under the bed and start reciting the Lord’s Prayer, or to silently open the window and stylishly fly through it and show a very clean pair of heels.
But that would not be politic enough. The creditor may shout after you “thief! thief!” and that is not a very good compliment. I should think that it is always better to confront your creditor and explain matters with all the hope that he’ll give you some breathing space.
Parents are more inclined to rebuke or advise their wards at dawn and it is also a time when wives are likely to confront their husbands over extra-marital improprieties. And lest I forget, convicted criminals are most often executed at dawn. Is it because most criminals are allergic to daylight? They operate under the cover of darkness and must face the bullet under the cover of darkness, armed robbers, especially.
Born again Christians also make good use of the dawn for reasons best known to themselves. They preach the GOOD NEWS at this time of the night and some people consider it a nuisance. A Muslim for instance would not enjoy being disturbed by a doctrine quite alien to his circumstances.
And others who are not Christians and do not intend to be one in the foreseeable future will naturally be angered. And naturally most Christians would enjoy this dawn session tremendously and pray that it becomes a regular feature.
It was at Legon that I realised how these Christian enterprises were both loved and hated. The dawn preachers came mostly on Saturday mornings and the preacher was usually a baritone-voiced apostle who preached the gospel with vim and fervour.
And he was supposed to be a man capable of speaking in at least thirteen foreign languages without error in grammar, usage, vocabulary and phonetics. The preacher was also not supposed to have learnt any of these languages. They are special gifts by the Holy Spirit and he becomes more or less a multi-lingual secretary.
Anyhow, his preaching always touched many hearts and also annoyed many hearts as the message reverberated across the silent hall. And the message was specifically directed to fornicators.
Quite fortunately or unfortunately, Fridays were days when “external” girlfriends came to spend the night on campus. And the dawn of Saturday dangerously coincided with gospel time, a time when lovers were supposed to be inseparable. It was so very untimely and very undemocratic on the part or the preachers.
An aggrieved student often expressed his disaffection by hurling the following across like a projectile: “Hey born again, go and preach to your parents at home. They need Jesus more than we do. Don’t waste our ears”.
I quite remember that in response to a similar remark one dawn, the deep-throated preacher shouted back “Be gone, Satan!”
Today, preachers of the good news minister the word in mummy trucks, buses, lorry parks and residential areas where the dawn is the most suitable period.
Their message is almost always the same. “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16”
You have to confess your sins, repent, accept Jesus Christ, fellowship with the assembly of saints and the way to heaven is opened to you. If you do not, you go to hell. The choice is yours.
I realise that barring any prejudices that might be harboured against the Christian doctrine, the apostles of Christ are doing a good job because they do not preach anything bad. To me, the Christian religion is credible and worth following since it is a sure way of reforming bad morals and keeping righteous.
But I also realise that the dawn preachers only focus on the spiritual side of man and ignore the numerous social problems afflicting him. It is not enough to pave the golden way to heaven. For the time being, man must also see to his earthly problems, alongside.
I have, always expected the dawn preachers for example to talk a little on advisıng people to steer clear of drug abuse and sloth, respect for one another, prevention of AIDS and teenage pregnancies.
The preachers must realise that preaching against fornication alone will not help stop the spread of AIDS for instance because people are always going to mate, anyway. So after preaching against fornication, the preachers could go on to educate their hearers on the deadliness of AIDS, how it is spread, and what pre-cautionary measures to take, e.g. the use of condoms. There is nothing sacrilegious in preaching practical ways of preventing the spread of the disease.
This information will not be useful to Christians alone but to everyone. When Christ came, he ministered, not only to the spiritual needs of the people but to their physical needs as well. The fact that he fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes means that he perfectly understood the physical needs of man as well.
Let our dawn preachers do more than merely telling us to repent and go to heaven. Repent we shall.
But do we need to die of AIDS for instance before we repent?
This article was first published on Saturday, December 15, 1990.
MerariAlomele’s
Merari Alomele’s
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I realise that barring any prejudices that might be harboured against the Christian doctrine, the apostles of Christ are doing a good job because they do not preach anything bad. To me, the Christian religion is credible and worth following since it is a sure way of reforming bad morals and keeping righteous.
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