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Essential tips to foster love and respect in your marriage

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• Endeavour to achieve your resolutions copy

It’s no surprise that men and women are different. And, we’re not just talking about physical differences. Men and women think differ­ently and find different things relevant to their lives.

Although both men and women value love and re­spect in marriage, according to marriage therapists, they look at love differently.

To women, they need love to survive. But then, so do men. How they view what love is and how they wish to receive it are very different from each other. One big key to a HYPERLINK “https:// www.marriage.com/advice/ relationship/how-to-build-deep-connections-stay-happy-interview-with-author-kira-asatryan/” happy marriage is understanding that and putting it into practice.

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In short, women value love in an emotional sense. Men, however, crave respect.

So, if you have been think­ing about ways on how to show respect to your husband or how to show HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage.com/ advice/love/importance-of-love-in-marriage/” love in marriage, look no further.

You are at the right place where you can pick up the language of love and re­spect as well as learn to show affection and respect to your spouse.

Here are 10 tips to bring more love and respect in marriage, with each person taking note of what the other person values and needs the most.

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Show affection

What is love in marriage as far as women are con­cerned?

For women to feel loved, they need to be shown affection regularly. This is separate from HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage.com/ advice/physical-intimacy/” sex.

She needs hugs, kisses, cuddles, and loving touches. She needs to know that you love her in this way without it having to lead to intima­cy every time. It makes her feel valued. And this is how a woman perceives love and respect in marriage.

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Give her lots of attention

For women, another defi­nition of love and respect in marriage is attention!

HYPERLINK “https:// www.marriage.com/advice/ relationship/things-women-want-from-their-husbands/” Women want a lot of atten­tion. This can be shown in many ways, and it’s essential to pay attention to what your wife truly needs. Most women view attention as talking.

Husbands need to talk to their wives to show love and respect in marriage. The subject of the talking is less important than the sincerity behind it.

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So ask how her day went, show an interest in what she did that day, ask questions about what she thinks about particular issues to express your respect and love in marriage.

Listen without giving advice

Women need your listen­ing ear. Women are smart, capable people. They can fig­ure out their problems pretty well. But they need your encouragement to do so.

If you have been won­dering how to show love and respect in marriage, listen instead of trying to solve their problems.

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Encourage her in what she feels is right. Validate that what she is feeling is perfect­ly normal.

Plan alone time, just the two of you

Husbands, your wives crave time with only the two of you together. So, remember that HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage. com/advice/relationship/ ways-to-have-a-quality-time-with-your-partner/” couples time is synonymous with love and respect in marriage for a woman.

During a regular day, she is working, finishing projects, coordinating with co-workers or friends; she is cleaning and organising and taking care of dinner.

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Most of her day is spent doing things for other peo­ple. After a while, she gets depleted, and she feels com­pletely disconnected from you.

What she wants is to relax and recharge with just you by her side. When she has that regularly—sometimes it needs to be scheduled, perhaps as a HYPERLINK “https://www. huffpost.com/entry/date-night-ideas-for-married-cou­ples_b_1460693” \t “_blank” weekly date together—then she feels like you two are in this together, even though you spend a lot of your days doing separate things.

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7 things Easter story teaches about marriage, relationships

• A good relationship involves a lot of forgiveness
• A good relationship involves a lot of forgiveness

This time of the year, we reflect quite a bit on the Easter story—the story of Christ’s betrayal, His sacrifice, His death, and ultimately, the Resur­rection that changed the course of history and mankind’s relationship with the Creator.

But what does this have to do with marriage or relationships?

If marriage or relationships were meant to reflect the image of God, then there is no better example than Christ, the living embodiment of God’s love.

Through His sacrifice, He showed that love for each other and even for Him was not enough.

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Here are seven things we can learn about marriage or relation­ships from Easter.

1. Betrayal can come from those we love and trust the most.

Jesus knew this all too well. Judas-one of the 12, the few in Jesus’ inner circle—betrayed Him by turning Him in to the chief priests.

Betrayal hurts. When it comes from someone we love and trust, it cuts all the deeper. And some of your deepest pain will likely come from your spouse or the person closest to you.

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No marriage or relationship is immune. But it is your response to the offense has to reflect the faith and trust we have in Christ.

2. We are not above betray­ing the ones we love

Peter was passionate about his relationship with Christ. When Jesus told Peter he would disown Him three times before the rooster crowed, Peter just could not fathom it. “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” Peter told Him. Yet, before the night had ended, Peter “wept bitterly” after he de­nied His Savior not once, but three times (Matthew 26:34-75).

Matthew 26:41 tells us “The spirit indeed is willing. Sometimes it is unintentional, words often rush out before my brain can catch up. Other times, the words that cut deep leave your lips without fully assessing the damage they will cause. None of us are above hurting our spouse or friends, no matter how much we try.

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3. Others won’t believe your marriage/ relationship can be saved

As they gazed upon the suffering Christ, the chief priests mocked Him. “He saved others; he cannot save himself,” they said. “Let the Christ, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe” (Mark 15:31- 32). The sad irony of their words is that because they refused to believe, they would never see their own salvation on that cross.

Most cultures are a brutal place to try to save a dying marriage. Not only do an increasing number of people not believe in the lasting power of marriage, many will gladly take a front seat to watch your marriage die. They will mock you and your spouse and say divorce is a better option.

Protect your relationship by sur­rounding yourself with people who encourage your marriage rather than dragging it down.

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4. Marriage/relationship takes sacrifice.

Jesus knew what was coming. He prayed in Gethsemane, “My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). Later, before He was nailed to the cross, “they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall, but when he tasted it, he would not drink it” (Matthew 27:34). The wine concoction offered to Jesus was one typically offered to slightly ease the pain of those condemned to death. Jesus refused to numb even a fraction of the sac­rifice He was about to make.

It sometimes seems like a no-brainer that we would give our lives for our spouses. But what about in the day to day? Are you willing to sacrifice your comfort, your preferences, even being right for your spouse?

On a much smaller level, sac­rificing yourself for your spouse is putting their best interests above your own through a series of choic­es that can seem insignificant.

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5. Marriage/relationship takes forgiveness.

Jesus’ sacrifice guaranteed God’s forgiveness for those who love Him. Even through the pain of the cross, He called out on behalf of those who crucified Him. “Jesus said, ‘Fa­ther, forgive them, for they know not what they do’” (Luke 23:34).

Forgiveness is not just something we have been given, it is also some­thing we, as followers of Christ, are told to do. In Colossians, Paul says, “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (3:13). Your spouse is going to mess up. A lot. You are too, perhaps even more. A good marriage involves a lot of asking for, giving, and receiving forgiveness.

6. Marriage/relationship takes faith

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After the tomb was found empty, Jesus appeared to His disciples. Thomas was not there. And when the others told him they had seen the Lord, Thomas was skeptical.

“Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” A week later, Thomas found himself face-to-face with Jesus, who offered his hands to Thomas. “Do not disbelieve,” Jesus told him, “but believe” (John 20:24-29).

There have been times it was a struggle to find the good in your marriage or relationship. It was like trying to find a match in the dark­ness. Most at times you will not see things getting any better. Holding on when you want to let go takes faith. Even a little.

7. We all need a Saviour

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The apostle John recorded the last words Jesus spoke on the cross to be, “It is finished” (John 19:30). Finished was His atonement for our sins. No one else could have paid the heavy debt we carried but the Son of God.

Marriage/relationship is a bless­ing, but make no mistake, it is hard at times. You and your spouse can not do it on your own strength and determination.

Much like the criminal hanging next to Jesus who said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Luke 23:42), you need to recognise the need for a Savior. And much like the disciples who were standing before their risen Lord, you need Him to breathe life into you (and into your mar­riage) with the Holy Spirit (John 20:22).

Your spouse needs Jesus as much as you do—no more, no less. Re­membering this can help you view him or her differently. —familylife. com

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Tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships

 When you commit to taking up a new habit, it is essential to have a clear plan of action before you begin. Start with a long-term goal and keep it S.M.A.R.T: S- Specific M-Measurable A- Achievable R-Rele­vant and T- Timely

Habit Stacking

Habit Stacking is exactly what it sounds like: putting two or more habits together. We recom­mend choosing times of the day when routines are strongest. For most people, this is usually the morning or before bed. We know day-to-day life can get a little crazy, but there are certain times when patterns are created, mak­ing them the perfect place for a positive change.

The best way to form a new habit is to tie it in with an exist­ing one.

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Baby steps

Many experts agree that signif­icant changes require high moti­vation levels, which can be hard to sustain. Instead, you should start with a slight change that will eventually lead to something bigger.

You can transition to some­thing bigger once you have successfully implemented daily habits for a designated amount of time.

Consistency

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Consistency is key. To make something a habit, you need to do it every day. We have all heard the magic ‘21 day’ fix, but the fact of the matter is, it’s not one size fits all.

Celebrate success

Perhaps the most important part of habit-making is rewarding yourself. We know habits take time, but in order to not give up, you need to celebrate every win.

Find the thing you love and allow yourself to experience it once you’ve hit a milestone on your habit-forming journey. Some­times, the results of habits are not immediately apparent. Do not give up!

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