Features
Getting a wife
For some curious reasons, marriage is becoming popular. The churches are even encouraging it, although if you are caught romancing before marriage, you are likely to be summoned before a disciplinary committee which will be empowered to investigate whether there is an evil spirit involved.
After the offending church members are made to testify, a deliverance session will be organised so that the evil spirit responsible for pre-marital licence can be paid off. The spirit will be asked to vamoose and come back no more.
The ‘couple’ now free of evil, one will be asked to go through counselling to prepare them for marriage that is if they really want to become man and wife.
Prospective brides and grooms are always advised to attend counselling together, they are taught all about the need for marriage and how marriage should be conducted along biblical lines.
They are taught to love and not to hate, and tutored on issues concerning reproductive health and child bearing and courtship.
Normally when it comes to courtship, the Pastor realises that those he is counselling are more knowledgeable in the subject than himself. In that sense, the Pastor should be the one who deserves counselling, because there are some tricks he should be made to learn judging from his ignorance.
However, in some cases, a counsellor has so much experience that those counselled are compelled to listen. The counsellor takes the pains to teach even the art and craft of lovemaking, which aims at equipping the man with all knowledge he needs to satisfy his wife in bed and vice versa.
In doing all these, the pastor assumes that the man and woman before him, listening with rapt attention, aren’t already copulating. It means they do not know each other, of course in the carnal sense.
But if they already know themselves, they are supposed to keep it a secret from the pastor, otherwise they would be charged with engaging in pre-marital sex, which is against the doctrine of the Lord Jesus, the Christ.
After the counselling sessions, which can take some six weeks, the prospective couple are supposed to be ready for the altar, where they would be blessed and whatever they do in bed can be regarded as sanctioned by the church, encouraged from the pulpit and blessed in heaven . Halleluyah!
The fact that man and woman have gone through counselling means they must wed. These days, however, the pastor would require an AIDS certificate before the two are bonded together. The idea is that, the church must not be party to situations where two individuals are joined together to infect each other, in short, for one to kill the other.
But the issue of AIDS certificates often becomes untenable, because in many instances, before counselling, the man had already known the woman about thousand times and without condoms, so the issue of one infecting the other doesn’t rise.
So it is the duty of the man to tell the pastor not to worry his head, because even ‘yesterday was a good time.’
The only problem is that people fear to tell the pastor the truth, meaning that hypocrisy in the church is accepted as a virtue and plain talk a vice.
Plain talk can only complicate matters for you, because in the first place the pastor expects you to hide certain things from him. Even if you are having pre-marital sex, the pastor expects you to say nay! Never! God forbid! Then you’ll be regarded as good material for heaven.
For man and woman who have long known each other succumb to an AIDS test, which I bet, isn’t an easy thing.
The problem with the test is that a positive result is worse than a death sentence. So you’d want to live without knowing whether you are positive or negative.
I have also learnt one strange thing about the disease and the test. Those who sound very confident that they are virus-free are those who test positive. Those who are not quite sure all come out negative.
When you present a negative result to the pastor, he rejoices with you, pending the outcome of that of your mate. If she is negative, praise the Lord.
A positive result, however, prompts the pastor to quickly ask you to leave the church premises lest you infect the congregation. So you leave mournfully and start preparing for your obituary.
It is quite interesting the way pastors insist on the AIDS certificates as the only foolproof passport into marriage. For their information it is not.
When the AIDS virus enters into the human body, it might not be detected until sometime after six months. So an AIDS test can be negative today but positive when it is done after six months.
The pastors, themselves need to be tutored on the disease and should also be tested to show their congregation that they are free from the virus, and that they are being faithful to their wives.
Features
Who knows tomorrow?
Recently a friend posted a sad news on his Facebook page, announcing the death of a school mate who had passed away, suddenly. The report had it that he was on his way to the airport to take a flight to Ghana.
I am sure this man had already informed the wife or a friend or a work colleague at work that he was returning home but he was not to return as a human being but as a dead body.
Such is life and so we need to be circumspect in how we go about things in life. The Bible reminds us that we are like grass which at one point in time looks elegant and the next moment becomes withered according to Psalm 90:5 and 6. It is for this reason that we need to guard our hearts with the word of God so that we shall be motivated to do the right thing, at all times.
This will enable us live on this planet, free from all sorts of troubles in our personal lives, even if we ignore the question of Heaven and Hell. Living a disciplined life delivers us from any kind of trouble as the Bible declares in Galatians 5:23 that against such there is no law.
The uncertainty surrounding our lives on earth is the more reason why people should commit their lives into the hands of the one who created it, in the first place unless you believe that the world created itself and that it appeared from nowhere.
Otherwise, the logical thing to do is to recognize the authority of the creator and surrender to his Lordship. Heaven is real and Hell is real, so for us who know the truth and have received Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, the onus lies on us to encourage our relations who have not believed and received Jesus into their lives, to do so.
We are a couple of days from another Easter Resurrection celebration and an opportunity to reflect on our lives in relation to the significance of Easter. In the Bible, the only occasion Jesus, Saviour of the world commands us to celebrate is his death and resurrection.
He never commanded his followers to celebrate his birth but like everything else, we chose to ignore Jesus’s instructions and decided to do what pleases us, just like our forefather and mother in the Garden of Eden.
Let us deliberately choose to do things differently as Christians this Easter, so we can really benefit from all the blessings that the celebration of the death and birth of Jesus, has on offer. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is definitely insanity.
I choose to be different this Easter and I am believing God for a newness of life so God’s glory would be revealed in me to draw the unsaved to him. It is only when people especially the unsaved, see the character of Christ in us, that they can be convinced about the authenticity of Jesus, as Saviour of the world, who can bring transformation in their lives too.
This is what would motivate them to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ. Let us make this Easter a memorable one that will be cherished for a long time. It is also a period for reconciliation and it would be great if in the spirit of Easter, we would try to reach out to those who have wronged us or have a grudge against us.
This would demonstrate that we have indeed accepted Jesus and that our religious posture is not a sham. May the good Lord grant us the grace to love our neighbours as ourselves, demonstrating the love of God in the process.
Those who have lost their loved ones and Easter brings sad memories, may the good Lord comfort and strengthen you. God bless.
.NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
Features
Cosmetic deformities
COSMETIC deformities refer to physical imperfections or abnormalities that affect an individual’s appearance, often causing emotional distress and impacting their quality of life.
These deformities can be congenital, acquired, or result from various medical conditions or treatments. This article provides an in-depth exploration of cosmetic deformities, their types, causes, effects, and treatment options.
Types of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can affect various parts of the body, including the face, skin, hair, nails, and teeth. Some common types of cosmetic deformities include:
1. Facial deformities: Congenital or acquired abnormalities affecting the shape, structure, or appearance of the face, such as cleft lip and palate, facial paralysis, or facial asymmetry.
2. Skin deformities: Conditions affecting the skin’s texture, tone, or appearance, such as acne, scars, birthmarks, or skin discoloration.
3. Hair deformities: Abnormalities affecting the hair’s growth, texture, or appearance, such as alopecia, hirsutism, or hair loss due to medical conditions or treatments.
4. Nail deformities: Conditions affecting the shape, size, or appearance of the nails, such as nail fungus, nail psoriasis, or nail trauma.
5. Dental deformities: Abnormalities affecting the shape, size, or appearance of the teeth, such as tooth decay, tooth loss, or malocclusion.
Causes of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can result from various factors, including:
1. Genetics: Congenital conditions or inherited traits can cause cosmetic deformities.
2. Trauma: Injuries or accidents can result in cosmetic deformities, such as scars or facial trauma.
3. Medical conditions: Certain medical conditions, such as acne, psoriasis, or eczema, can cause cosmetic deformities.
4. Treatments and procedures: Medical treatments, such as chemotherapy, radiation therapy, or surgery, can result in cosmetic deformities.
5. Aging and environmental factors: Aging, sun exposure, and environmental factors can contribute to cosmetic deformities, such as wrinkles, fine lines, or age spots.
Effects of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can have significant emotional and psychological effects on individuals, including:
1. Low self-esteem: Cosmetic deformities can lead to feelings of insecurity, self-consciousness, and low self-esteem.
2. Social anxiety: Individuals with cosmetic deformities may experience social anxiety, avoiding social interactions or feeling embarrassed in public.
3. Emotional distress: Cosmetic deformities can cause emotional distress, including depression, anxiety, or stress.
4. Impact on quality of life: Cosmetic deformities can affect an individual’s quality of life, impacting their relationships, career, or overall well-being.
Treatment options for cosmetic deformities
Various treatment options are available to address cosmetic deformities, including:
1. Surgical procedures: Surgical procedures, such as reconstructive surgery, cosmetic surgery, or dermatological surgery, can correct or improve cosmetic deformities.
2. Non-surgical treatments: Non-surgical treatments, such as laser therapy, chemical peels, or microdermabrasion, can address cosmetic concerns, such as skin texture, tone, or appearance.
3. Medical treatments: Medical treatments, such as topical creams, oral medications, or injectable treatments, can address cosmetic concerns, such as acne, hair loss, or nail deformities.
4. Prosthetic and orthotic devices: Prosthetic and orthotic devices, such as wigs, hairpieces, or dental prosthetics, can help individuals with cosmetic deformities.
5. Counselling and therapy: Counselling and therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or psychotherapy, can help individuals cope with the emotional and psychological effects of cosmetic deformities.
Conclusion
Cosmetic deformities can have significant emotional and psychological effects on individuals, impacting their quality of life and overall well-being.
Understanding the types, causes, and effects of cosmetic deformities is crucial in addressing these concerns.
Various treatment options are available, ranging from surgical procedures to non-surgical treatments, medical treatments, prosthetic and orthotic devices, and counselling and therapy.
By seeking professional help and support, individuals with cosmetic deformities can improve their appearance, boost their self-esteem, and enhance their overall quality of life.
Reference
1. “Cosmetic Deformities” by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons
