Obaa Yaa
He keeps changing of late
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for 20 years and we have three children by the grace of God. My husband is pending retirement whilst l have a few years to serve.
I have realised of late that my husband gets highly provoked by the least issue and shouts at the top of his voice and no one can calm him down and everything comes to a standstill in the house. He hangs on such issues for hours or even days before his temper comes down.
He has planned to settle in his hometown when he retires from active service and he is insisting that the family follows him.
Unfortunately, l am managing a small business which helps me to supplement my salary for the upkeep of the family.
Looking at the way he has changed suddenly and his decision that we should settle at his hometown worries me. l will consider this decision a worry to me because it will affect my work and the little business l run.
I cannot proceed on voluntary retirement as this will pose a serious problem to the family.
What action should l take under the circumstance?
Abena, Cape Coast.
Dear Abena,
I commend you for the swift action you have taken in writing to this column for advice.
We thank God that the minor frictions and insults in the house had not degenerated into fights which could have produced grave consequences.
We have different characteristics, levels at which people comprehend issues and how others also respond to certain types of messages or pieces of information that concerns them.
Information about pending retirement sets people to think about their future since they will have to depend on a meagre monthly allowance.
This becomes an issue of concern if the one proceeding on retirement has no reliable investment to depend on.
I don’t know the sort of investment your husband has made and how prepared he is for this new way of life. That is why some institutions have planned series of programmes to condition the minds of their employees who are pending retirement.
I think he has been thinking about many things, especially levels he could not achieve during his active working period.
You have to explain to him.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.
