Obaa Yaa
He keeps harassing me
I am a 26-year-old girl in a tertiary institution with the optimism to excel in my academic programme.
Unfortunately, a married man who is a friend to a cousin of mine has been harassing me every day. Though this man is married with three children, he has been showering expensive gifts on me in a bid to entice me to go out with him.
Though he had offered to sponsor me to read a professional course, l was not interested and l had made myself clear to him, yet he would not listen to me.I have the conviction that accepting such offers could lead to unacceptable demands from him.
Since this man is married, l am confused and would not like to fall in love with a married man to ruin my future eventually.
Kindly help me out of this problem before l commit myself.
Linda, Takoradi.
Dear Linda,
The inference that you would not like to fall in love with a married man speaks volumes and you must stick to that.
Your decision not to accept gifts from this man because of the consequences is equally good and l wished all young girls would be fast to read through the evil plans of some men.
The possibility of using your cousin to achieve his aim is also great, for that matter, you must be careful not to fall a victim to his scheming.
Can you imagine the embarrassment you will give yourself if this man’s wife gets to know about a romance between you and her husband?
Since your desire is to do all within your power to excel academically, you must endeavour to study hard and refrain from impediments which are likely to come your way.
I wish you well.
Obaa Yaa
She used to see a mallam
Dear Obaa Yaa,
TWO years ago I went and consulted a mallam to help me get a husband. Each time, I meet a certain girl there, but we never talked, not even a simple greeting, because I did not feel comfortable to be seen at a mallam’s house.
Somehow, I started going to church and I stopped going to the mallam.
Can you imagine the shock when my elder brother recently brought this same girl home?
But what even surprised me is that the girl does not give any indication that she knows me.
I am confused because I know my brother will never forgive me if I should be the cause of trouble between them, but I don’t want him to marry someone who got him through foul means.
Please advise me on the right course to take.
T.G, Kumasi.
Dear T.G,
YOU should not be too quick in judging your brother’s girl. After all, you also went to the mallam before giving up to go to church. May be she also did the same thing, and met your brother through a natural way.
Whatever it is, the only way that you would be able to know anything at all is by talking to her, but you will have to be tactful about it.
Mind you, she does not owe you any explanations, because she could turn around to accuse you too.
What is important at this stage is to try and convince your brother’s girl, is if she still goes to the mallam, to give up just like you did. You could even invite her to your church.
Obaa Yaa
She has changed her attitude
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married to my wife for several years and we have had a fairly good marriage.
She started work last year after five years of being a housewife, and her attitude towards me has changed. She no longer wait on me the way she used to and lately she gets annoyed easily.
Our home is no longer a happy place even though we eat better than before. I am tempted to let her stop the work, but she will not even compromise on that.
How can I make her to see what she is doing to me?
C. C, Accra.
Dear C. C,
JUST what is your wife doing to you? I do believe that if there is any compromising to be done, it should come from you. If you are no longer shouldering all the financial burden, you should show some appreciation by helping with house chores. And doing things for yourself is one way of helping.
And come to think of it, marriage is supposed to be sharing and not one partner waiting on the other; except perhaps when that partner is sick.
If you want happiness and peace of mind, treat her like a partner and discuss all your problems. Any decision that you take should be mutual, otherwise one of you will always be dissatisfied.
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