Obaa Yaa
He took me for granted
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year old University student. I dated a 35-year-old man who took advantage of my innocence and has suddenly become too busy with me.
I got fed up with him ignoring me so I stopped checking up on him like I used to. Eventually, I asked for a break up but he took my words for a joke but I have since moved on to start a new relationship.
I found out after we broke up that he had a 10-year old son. He is now apologising and wants me back. I love my current boyfriend and wouldn’t want to hurt him. What should I do?
Tasha, Madina.
Dear Tasha,
It appears you are quick to start a new relationship hence your decision to end the relationship with your former boyfriend. Better still, you don’t have to bother yourself too much over your ex-boyfriend.
He was not truthful to you and you deserve better. He may hurt you again if you return to him. Focus on improving your current relationship and don’t repeat the mistakes you made in the past.
Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t respect her mother
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my girlfriend at home, and I was a witness to a hot exchange between her and the mother.
In fact, my girl used such words on the mother that I was compelled to hit her to keep her quiet. She later told me that her mother made her to behave like that.
The surprising thing is that she seemed to be such a respectful person, and was always very polite to my mother and even help her in the kitchen when she visits me.
I have told her in plain language that our relationship is off, but she keeps begging and she has even promised not to quarrel with her mother again.
But I can’t forget the scene I saw and the fact is that, it was not the first time.
Do you think she can change?
I love her, but I want my children to have a respectful mother.
Agbesi, keta.
Dear Agbesi,
LET me say this to you, you took the right decision in ending the relationship because she might not change. However, that is for her to work it out, so don’t let it be your problem.
Even the Bible in Exodus 20:12 has a lot to say against children who are disrespectful to their parents.
You are lucky you found out in time the sort of person she is.
Obaa Yaa
He wants me to be his cousin
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I got married shortly after we completed senior high school. My mother then bought a ticket for him to go abroad where he went and stayed with my brother.
He went through some kind of marriage over there in order to get a good job, or so he said, and he asked me to be patient.
A few weeks ago, my husband wrote to say that he was coming home with his wife, and that I should pretend to be a cousin. I also heard they have a child.
I can’t do what he wants me to, even though everyone, including my mother thinks I should.
And I don’t want to be his wife only when he comes home. I want to join him over there because that was the arrangement.
Akweley, Accra
Dear Akweley,
Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. If you can’t pretend, then don’t try.When you meet your husband, it is important to let him know how you feel about the arrangement.
And you will have to come to an agreement as to whether or not you want to continue with your marriage.
Whatever decision you come up to will not be easy for you, but do make sure that it is what is best for you.
• Kwabena kwabena in