Obaa Yaa
I am planning to end the marriage
Dear ObaaYaa,
We had a traditional marriage and sealed it with a memorable wedding. The congregation that attended the wedding was suggestive that the ceremony was grand.
God has graciously blessed me with the fruit of the womb with two beautiful daughters in succession.
I lost my job when l was delivered of my second child and things started to change from bad to worse.
At that time, my husband was very caring and constantly responded to the needs of the family, but one year down the lane, things changed when my husband fell in love with another lady at his place of work.
l could not complain because l had no grounds on which to stand.I, therefore, kept quiet until a friend of mine gave me a vivid account of what had gone on for some period.
Though he had denied having an extra marital affairs with her, as most men would do, l later caught him in the comfortable arms of his lover in the woman’s home.
Having discovered this, he packed out of the house and his attitude towards me and the children suddenly changed. He has refused to give me money for the upkeep of the children and has failed to find out about their welfare.
The lady is nine months pregnant and l understand he is happy about this development.
The situation is unbearable and l am contemplating leaving the marriage. Can l carry out my plans?
Francisca, Accra.
Dear Francisca,
It is appropriate to pour out your frustrations and problems which are disturbing your mind at this crucial moment. The austere economic conditions are not favourable and people are taking alternative steps to survive.
Since times are hard and families find it difficult to make ends meet, l would like to suggest that you kindly rescind your decision for now and stay in your marital home for the sake of the children.
Some men who had indulged in extra marital activities, had to eat the humble pie after serious regrets and re-united with their wives.
Your husband could possibly identify his mistake and return to you. When you leave your matrimonial home, he will presume that you are married to another man and would fail to be responsible for the upkeep of the children.
It is ideal that the two of you raise the children together.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.
