Relationship
Marriage is a social union
Marriage is a social relationship between two people that is sanctioned by the law, religion, or social conventions. It is an official commitment made by two people to share their lives, obligations, and resources while residing as a couple.
Every culture on the globe values and strongly approves of marriage as a social bond or union. Marriage has been a social institution in numerous forms spanning human history. It is considered as a way to build social ties between families or clans in some cultures, while it is recognised as a private relationship between two people in others.
The institution of marriage is heavily regulated by religious institutions since it is often connected to religious customs in many civilisations.
Mostly, a marriage takes place amidst happiness and celebrations for the couple, their family, and loved ones.
Being a social institution, marriage encourages the union of two utterly different people from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds to create a family. Marriage is a partnership where trust is developed over time as dedicated spouses put their personal interests aside for the benefit of their spouse and learn how to maintain a healthy relationship.
Marriage is a social union that establishes rights and obligations between the spouses, between spouses and their children, and between the spouses and their in-laws.
Marriage has several functions in society, including defining the rights and obligations of the spouses, recognising the couple’s dedication to each other on a social and legal level, and managing the couple’s sexual behaviour and procreation. In addition to providing a framework for arranging household and financial affairs, marriage also offers a means of socialising and raising children.
It is crucial in creating a solid foundation for rearing and caring for children. In terms of education, social well-being, and health, research has demonstrated that children raised in married homes typically achieve greater results than children raised in single-parent or cohabiting relationships.
Marriage has obstacles, despite how significant it is. The institution of marriage has come under fire and been the subject of debate, particularly in relation to topics like gender roles, sexuality, and the right of same-sex couples to get married.
In many nations, divorce rates have also increased, underscoring the challenges that many couples encounter in sustaining a committed, long-term partnership. As society conventions and ideals have changed over time, marriage has undergone considerable adjustments.
Today, marriage is often seen as a partnership between equals in which both parties contribute to the union and shoulder equal responsibility. A growing acceptance of many types of love and commitment is reflected in the legal recognition of same-sex marriage in some nations.
Despite the growing trend in same-sex marriages, almost all African and Asian countries vehemently abhor the idea of same-sex marriage because of religious / spiritual, cultural and social reasons.
Nevertheless, the Christian perspective maintains that getting married is not only a social or legal commitment; it is a spiritual union that is based on the grace and love of God. Christians contend that a husband and wife can deepen their love for God and for each other by means of marriage.
The need for sexual purity and loyalty inside the marriage bond is also emphasized in the Christian perspective on marriage. Christians believe that faithfulness is essential to upholding a good and solid relationship, and that intimate sexual activity is a gift from the LORD that deserves to be embraced within the framework of marriage.
In general, the Christian perspective on marriage as a social union is grounded in the conviction that it is a holy covenant between a man and a woman, established by God, and that it is intended to reflect God’s love and grace in the world.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
COUNSELOR PRINCE& ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
The role of employment status, wealth, geographical location in divorce
Several research findings have identified factors likely to account for divorce. These factors include (but are not limited to):
1. Employment Status and Income Levels of Individuals
Several research on the employment status of married individuals have identified how it influences marital stability. If the husband is employed, the likelihood of the marriage ending in divorce is low.
The is because, as the head, he would be in a better position to provide for the family’s needs, strengthening the family and increasing their standard of living (Lee, unpublished).
On the contrary, women who are employed are at risk of having a higher divorce rate, particularly when they find themselves in unhappy marriages.
This is because they can afford to be independent and cater for their children (Becker, Landes & Michael, 1977; Oppenheimer, 1997; Sayer & Bianchi, 2000). Moore’s (1994) argument also supports the fact that women’s divorce risks increase as they find themselves in highly time-demanding occupations outside the home. This is because they might be unable to devote ample time to their spouses and children.
Despite these findings, I know of a good number of women who are doing their best to maintain some balance between their married life and their work. I highly commend such women for their extra efforts on behalf of their families.
2. Wealth
Research shows that the individuals’ wealth status could either increase or decrease the probability of divorce. Some scholars (Kurderk, 1993 and Rootalu, 2010) indicated that when individuals are more affluent and wealthy, marriage stability is compromised because couples could easily afford the costs involved in the divorce process.
Others also suggest that individuals who are not wealthy (especially women) are at lower risk of divorce than more prosperous women (Ambert, 2002).
3. Geographical Location or Type of Residential Place
Geographic location and its characteristics could impact your marriage’s stability. Several studies on the location of residence have shown that married couples who live in urban communities are more likely to experience divorce than their rural counterparts (Adegoke, 2010; Adedokun, 1998).
According to Takyi (2001) and Moore (1994), urbanisation undermines African marriages.
Characteristics dominant in urban communities, such as the preference for conjugal union over the extended family and the increasing number of women in restrictive and time-consuming employment setups, have been argued to weaken the foundation of families and marriages.
This is because the conjugal family type does not allow for the involvement of other extended family members except for the immediate family (nuclear family). The immediate family is mainly made up of the married couple and their children; hence, there is less opportunity for the involvement of other members of the other family.
Indeed, it matters a lot how much your in-laws are involved in your marriage (in a healthy way, without much interference).
Modernisation in Africa is destroying the benefits that could have been derived from couples’ healthy relationships with the extended family.
Oppong (1992) supported this argument that African modernisation has led to the type of urbanisation, encouraging wide separation from extended families. Unfortunately, urbanisation supports an individualistic living arrangement (devoid of considerations for other families).
It is not surprising that a good number of researchers confirm that urban divorce rates exceed rural areas’ rates.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “PREPARING FOR A HAPPY AND FULFILLING MARRIAGE: Everything You Need to Know Before You Say ‘I Do’” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
When the tides change (Pt. 2)
Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.
But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!
Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!
Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.
Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed.
Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.
Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.
A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!
Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.
Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.
Until next time, keep your ears open.
With Eyram, the Tale bearer.
