Obaa Yaa
Married man provides for my needs
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a third- year student in a tertiary institution and deeply in love with a married man.
This man loves me and has told me he would like to marry me since his marriage is on the verge of collapse.
According to him, there have been repeated misunderstandings between him and his wife so they have agreed to separate for some months to see if conditions will improve.
For the past two years, this man has been disturbing me that he would marry me at all cost.
He kept showering gifts on me and l could not help but succumb to his sexual demands.
When l became pregnant, he impressed on me to abort it because he had not yet severed relations with his wife.
In fact l felt cheated and betrayed to hear this from him.
Despite showering gifts on me l am planning quitting this relationship because l can envisage a bleak future. Can you advise me on the right step to take?
Victoria, Accra.
Dear Victoria,
There are many marriages which are not doing well yet the couples are still staying together. This is to say that there is no successful marriage on earth and it is not easy breaking up marriages despite the difficulties.
Your lover is taking advantage of you and the earlier you break up with him the better it will serve your interest.
His insistence that you should abort the pregnancy should ring a bell in your ears that you have no future so long as you follow this married man.
Why don’t you work hard to become independent and forget about this man who can easily patch up with the wife and things will be normal once again.
Forget the gifts he is showering on you and do not waste your precious time on him.
Concentrate on your studies to complete your programme after which you will get a partner of your choice.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.
