Features
My journey through childlessness …Rev. Ama Abedi shares story
Pastor Mrs Nana Ama Abedi
For the first five years of marriage, Rev. Mrs Berlinda Nana Ama Abedi and her husband battled infertility and stigmatisation.
“I had five miscarriages and the last was a set of twins after carrying them for five months.
The previous pregnancies lasted three months each. It was a terrible moment in our lives. The last actually broke my husband,” she said with tears in her eyes.
In an interview with The Spectator last Wednesday, Rev. Abedi disclosed that even though she went through difficult moments, she remained optimistic that one day the story will change for the better because of assurances from specialist doctors that they were medically fit to have children.
“God is an amazing God. I don’t know how he did it but the next five years he restored us. He blessed us with three children and wiped away all our tears,” she said smiling.
Rev. Abedi said she feels well positioned to advise people who are battling infertility and stigmatisation ‘because I think I have seen it all,’ she said.
She said she was convinced that God made her go through those ‘difficult times’ because He had an assignment for her in that delicate area of people’s lives.
She said at the time she battled infertility, she was not a Rev. but now, both she and her husband are Rev.s.
“Imagine that I was in charge of the Children’s Ministry but didn’t have my own children. Sometimes people looked at me in a certain way and I could understand what they were saying but I did not react no matter how much it hurt me. A children’s teacher who didn’t have children. Indeed, it was a difficult situation,” she disclosed.
She recalled how she nearly got into a fight with a Rev. from another church because he told her that she was unable to have children because of her name Berlinda and so she needed to come for deliverance at his church.
“Berlinda as I know means beautiful lady and so his comments really baffled me,” she said.
“I told him that I had been praying and God had not told me anything contrary so I couldn’t take his words seriously. I didn’t want to disrespect a man of God but I felt I had been pushed too far.”
“Thankfully, he travelled out of the country almost immediately and when he returned after a year, I had become a mother. I felt God had wiped away my shame,” she stated.
Rev. Abedi cautioned couples who were going through such difficulties to be careful to prevent people from taking advantage of them.
“They can even tell from your looks and conversations that you have become vulnerable and so they will package anything as a solution for you. If you are not careful, in trying to solve one problem, you would end up adding more problems to your life, “she admonished.
According to her, she had to deal with insensitive comments from people and it was worse when it came from the church which was supposed to be a place of consolation.
“I remember there was a lady who always had one medication or the other for me every Sunday. I tried to avoid her because it was taking a toll on my mental health but she might have observed it and so would always be waiting for me at the main entrance of the church.”
“It was so depressing that I nearly left the church. The development has an interesting way of making you lose your strength to fight back even when you are overly provoked,” she disclosed.
She, however, acknowledged that there were some members of the church who were genuinely concerned and so would encourage more prayers.
“In fact, there were others who never discussed the issue with me but when I became a mother, I found out later that they were seriously interceding on my behalf and I thank them so much. I think this is what people should do and not be confrontational with childless couples as if they had committed an offence and under interrogation,” she prescribed.
Rev. Abedi who is also a journalist said losing a pregnancy was something that no one should even wish for an enemy because aside the psychological and emotional torture, the physical process to take out the foetus was a pain ‘that was out of the world.’
Recounting some difficult moments, she noted that there was the need for people to be sympathetic to childless couples to prevent unpleasant comments to break them.
She observed a practice where people gave their babies to childless couples to carry at gatherings, claiming that if they carry them they would soon have theirs.
Rev. Abedi who has been married for over 16 years now said countless times she had heard people say their intentions were good with no malice intended but which she found unfortunate.
She said it was worrying to see people who married years after she did conceive and have children almost the same year of marriage.
She commended her parents and mother-in-law who she said stood firmly by them during the period by constantly speaking words of encouragement such as ‘God’s time is the best’ among others to her and the husband and also prayed for them.
Rev. Abedi advised all persons who were trying to conceive to avoid people whose comments made them feel bad.
From Dzifa Tetteh Tay, Tema
Features
Who knows tomorrow?
Recently a friend posted a sad news on his Facebook page, announcing the death of a school mate who had passed away, suddenly. The report had it that he was on his way to the airport to take a flight to Ghana.
I am sure this man had already informed the wife or a friend or a work colleague at work that he was returning home but he was not to return as a human being but as a dead body.
Such is life and so we need to be circumspect in how we go about things in life. The Bible reminds us that we are like grass which at one point in time looks elegant and the next moment becomes withered according to Psalm 90:5 and 6. It is for this reason that we need to guard our hearts with the word of God so that we shall be motivated to do the right thing, at all times.
This will enable us live on this planet, free from all sorts of troubles in our personal lives, even if we ignore the question of Heaven and Hell. Living a disciplined life delivers us from any kind of trouble as the Bible declares in Galatians 5:23 that against such there is no law.
The uncertainty surrounding our lives on earth is the more reason why people should commit their lives into the hands of the one who created it, in the first place unless you believe that the world created itself and that it appeared from nowhere.
Otherwise, the logical thing to do is to recognize the authority of the creator and surrender to his Lordship. Heaven is real and Hell is real, so for us who know the truth and have received Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, the onus lies on us to encourage our relations who have not believed and received Jesus into their lives, to do so.
We are a couple of days from another Easter Resurrection celebration and an opportunity to reflect on our lives in relation to the significance of Easter. In the Bible, the only occasion Jesus, Saviour of the world commands us to celebrate is his death and resurrection.
He never commanded his followers to celebrate his birth but like everything else, we chose to ignore Jesus’s instructions and decided to do what pleases us, just like our forefather and mother in the Garden of Eden.
Let us deliberately choose to do things differently as Christians this Easter, so we can really benefit from all the blessings that the celebration of the death and birth of Jesus, has on offer. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is definitely insanity.
I choose to be different this Easter and I am believing God for a newness of life so God’s glory would be revealed in me to draw the unsaved to him. It is only when people especially the unsaved, see the character of Christ in us, that they can be convinced about the authenticity of Jesus, as Saviour of the world, who can bring transformation in their lives too.
This is what would motivate them to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ. Let us make this Easter a memorable one that will be cherished for a long time. It is also a period for reconciliation and it would be great if in the spirit of Easter, we would try to reach out to those who have wronged us or have a grudge against us.
This would demonstrate that we have indeed accepted Jesus and that our religious posture is not a sham. May the good Lord grant us the grace to love our neighbours as ourselves, demonstrating the love of God in the process.
Those who have lost their loved ones and Easter brings sad memories, may the good Lord comfort and strengthen you. God bless.
.NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
Features
Cosmetic deformities
COSMETIC deformities refer to physical imperfections or abnormalities that affect an individual’s appearance, often causing emotional distress and impacting their quality of life.
These deformities can be congenital, acquired, or result from various medical conditions or treatments. This article provides an in-depth exploration of cosmetic deformities, their types, causes, effects, and treatment options.
Types of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can affect various parts of the body, including the face, skin, hair, nails, and teeth. Some common types of cosmetic deformities include:
1. Facial deformities: Congenital or acquired abnormalities affecting the shape, structure, or appearance of the face, such as cleft lip and palate, facial paralysis, or facial asymmetry.
2. Skin deformities: Conditions affecting the skin’s texture, tone, or appearance, such as acne, scars, birthmarks, or skin discoloration.
3. Hair deformities: Abnormalities affecting the hair’s growth, texture, or appearance, such as alopecia, hirsutism, or hair loss due to medical conditions or treatments.
4. Nail deformities: Conditions affecting the shape, size, or appearance of the nails, such as nail fungus, nail psoriasis, or nail trauma.
5. Dental deformities: Abnormalities affecting the shape, size, or appearance of the teeth, such as tooth decay, tooth loss, or malocclusion.
Causes of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can result from various factors, including:
1. Genetics: Congenital conditions or inherited traits can cause cosmetic deformities.
2. Trauma: Injuries or accidents can result in cosmetic deformities, such as scars or facial trauma.
3. Medical conditions: Certain medical conditions, such as acne, psoriasis, or eczema, can cause cosmetic deformities.
4. Treatments and procedures: Medical treatments, such as chemotherapy, radiation therapy, or surgery, can result in cosmetic deformities.
5. Aging and environmental factors: Aging, sun exposure, and environmental factors can contribute to cosmetic deformities, such as wrinkles, fine lines, or age spots.
Effects of cosmetic deformities
Cosmetic deformities can have significant emotional and psychological effects on individuals, including:
1. Low self-esteem: Cosmetic deformities can lead to feelings of insecurity, self-consciousness, and low self-esteem.
2. Social anxiety: Individuals with cosmetic deformities may experience social anxiety, avoiding social interactions or feeling embarrassed in public.
3. Emotional distress: Cosmetic deformities can cause emotional distress, including depression, anxiety, or stress.
4. Impact on quality of life: Cosmetic deformities can affect an individual’s quality of life, impacting their relationships, career, or overall well-being.
Treatment options for cosmetic deformities
Various treatment options are available to address cosmetic deformities, including:
1. Surgical procedures: Surgical procedures, such as reconstructive surgery, cosmetic surgery, or dermatological surgery, can correct or improve cosmetic deformities.
2. Non-surgical treatments: Non-surgical treatments, such as laser therapy, chemical peels, or microdermabrasion, can address cosmetic concerns, such as skin texture, tone, or appearance.
3. Medical treatments: Medical treatments, such as topical creams, oral medications, or injectable treatments, can address cosmetic concerns, such as acne, hair loss, or nail deformities.
4. Prosthetic and orthotic devices: Prosthetic and orthotic devices, such as wigs, hairpieces, or dental prosthetics, can help individuals with cosmetic deformities.
5. Counselling and therapy: Counselling and therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or psychotherapy, can help individuals cope with the emotional and psychological effects of cosmetic deformities.
Conclusion
Cosmetic deformities can have significant emotional and psychological effects on individuals, impacting their quality of life and overall well-being.
Understanding the types, causes, and effects of cosmetic deformities is crucial in addressing these concerns.
Various treatment options are available, ranging from surgical procedures to non-surgical treatments, medical treatments, prosthetic and orthotic devices, and counselling and therapy.
By seeking professional help and support, individuals with cosmetic deformities can improve their appearance, boost their self-esteem, and enhance their overall quality of life.
Reference
1. “Cosmetic Deformities” by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons
