Relationship
Secrets for lasting relationship
It is believed that after seven years of a marriage, the happiness starts wavering. If you get through this, it’s most probably going to last. Seven years is a considerable amount of time. A lot can change during these times. You might have gone through a lot. You would’ve had numerous fall outs, major life style changes, differences with not only each other but the respective families as well and what not. There might have been good times as well as bad times. And to live through these, you could hopefully benefit from the following things:
See the humour in things
Everybody appreciates a good sense of humour. Don’t ever let anything get too serious. Learn to laugh at yourself. Try keeping things on the lighter side. You can always save a situation with a good laugh. However, be careful with your timing or you might end up worsening things.
Discover how you express love
This is different for everyone as well. We all have our own way of professing our love. Since it’s different for everyone, people often remain in doubt as to whether their partner feels the same way or not. You need to recognise and learn their patterns. Once you do so, you’ll see that even though your ways are different, the love is present.
Don’t suffocate each other
You can be in a relationship and be yourselves at the same time. And for that, you both need time for yourselves. You don’t need to be together all the time or do everything together. Respect and acknowledge your partner’s need to spend time apart. When you have time to do the things you want and to take care of yourself, you can actually be more giving and focused in the time you spend with them.
Talk about everything!
When you’re sharing your life with someone, you need to share taking decisions that would impact you both. It’s better to have everything out in the open rather than putting it off to a point where you have no choice but to deal with it. You both deserve to know how you feel regarding a certain subject and how you should progress with it. Talk about everything from what your room should look like to your finances, setting boundaries for families and friends, having children and so on.
Work for what you want
If you want your relationship to last, it’s up to you to make sure it does. You only get what you work for. Relationships require quite a few things to last. Love unconditionally. Earn each other’s trust. Accept them with all their imperfections. All of these things require compromise. And sometimes you need to make difficult choices as well as sacrifices. But if you feel that your relationship is worth it, you’ll find it in yourself to work for it.
Focus on becoming the kind of person you’d want to be with
Rather than looking for the things you want in another person, maybe the better thing to do is to adopt those things and become a better version of yourself. You will no longer need someone to fill some sort of void. When you feel content on your own, you’ll be able to love them without developing any dependency on them. Because at the end of the day, you would be enough for yourself.
Remember the good times
It’s nice to relive the times you fell for them, or you laughed yourself to tears or the first date and many such memories. They always manage to put a smile on your face. They could smooth things out when you’re going through tough times. They serve as reminders as to what you’re striving for and what more you could have. You’re encouraged to add to this list every time you think of it.
Love and place yourself first, even before them and everyone else follows. Be comfortable with who you are and accept them as they are. Don’t make things more difficult than they have to be. There’s a solution to everything; keep that in mind when faced with any problem. Work together to make your relationship last.
Source: www.gistping.com
Relationship
What you should expect to learn in pre-marital counselling
- Pre-marital counselling involves couples coming together for joint therapy sessions
Many times, pre-marital counselling involves couples or partners coming together for joint therapy sessions. Working with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist, you will learn skills to help improve your relationship as a couple.
At the same time, it is not all pre-marital counselling that leads to marriage. It is possible that certain discoveries (and major red flags) could emerge during the counselling sessions, and for that reason one of you may want to discontinue the marriage process so as to avoid any future regrets.
From my experience and professional practice, I would say that no matter how painful it is to break up a relationship prior to marriage; it is still far better to do that than to break up your marriage relationship.
The marriage breakup has more serious implications than any pain that could emerge from relationship break up.
In some instances, the specific topics to be explored and skills to be developed in your pre-marital counselling sessions will depend on your needs as a couple.
Despite this, I would give you all the topics and skills to expect your counsellor to take you through in order to have a happy and lasting relationship.
Even if you are not considering pre-marital counselling at the moment, you can still benefit from these skills and topics. They are also an excellent way to create depth in your conversations and build a solid healthy foundation in the early stages of your relationship.
Not in any specific order, I would like you to take note of these important skills and lessons you will learn in your sessions: 1 understanding the concept of marriage, 2 building a strong foundation for your marriage, 3 examining your expectations leading to your marriage, 4 undergoing medical tests and sometimes mental health assessment, 5 resolving conflicts together, 6 communicating openly and effectively, 7 taking decisions as a couple, 8. building a strong Christian home (if you’re Christians), 9 building transparency and trust, 10 knowing yourselves: your strengths and weaknesses—and how to improve them, 11 building commitment towards the marriage and each other, 12 accepting your unique roles and responsibilities in your marriage, 13 planning your future together, 14 sexual intimacy in marriage, 15 bearing and raising children, 16 understanding the concept of love, 17 the role of love languages in experiencing marital happiness, 18 managing your home finances, 19 defining your beliefs and values, 20 adjustments in marriage, 21 balancing love, work, and family life, 22 relating with your in-laws and third parties, 23 creating your unique marriage and family rituals, 24 engaging married couples to learn from them, 25 understanding divorce and what causes it, 26 Christian view on divorce, 27 preparing for your marriage ceremony, 28 planning for your honeymoon and how to maximise it, and finally, 29 making your first year of marriage count.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
Tips for creating healthy working relationships
We spend around a third of our lives at work. Our jobs and careers make a real impact on our overall levels of happiness. Having good work relationships will always make our jobs more enjoyable
Also, when we have great workplace relationships we will demonstrate cooperation, trust and fairness, activating the reward centre of our brains which encourages even more positive interactions.
Here are some tips to create healthy relationships at the workplace.
1. Focus on self-awareness
This means taking full responsibility for your words and actions, not letting your own negative emotions impact the people around us.
If you feel frustration or resentment towards others this will manifest in what you observe and the way you engage.
By developing your own Emotional Intelligence, you will become more adept at identifying and handling your emotions be able to recognise the needs of others.
Again, if you view colleagues with compassion and respect, you will improve your interactions and build strong working relationships.
What would happen if you stopped making judgments and embraced a positive appraisal of your co-workers? If we saw difference as something valuable that could be harnessed and actually enhance your perception and understanding of those around you? Your vibe will always attract your tribe.
2. Be open and honest
A good relationships depend on open, honest communication. Whether you are sending emails or meeting face-to-face or on video calls, the more effectively you communicate with those around you, the better you will connect. It is important to identify the nature of your relationships with others.
What is it that we need and what do our colleagues need from us? Once you know the fundamentals of what you need you can be clear with communicating and better understanding each other’s requirements.
3. Practice active listening
Good people skills are essential. How good are you at collaborating, communicating and managing challenge? People respond better to those who truly listen to what they have to say. By practicing active listening, you will talk less and understand colleagues more and you will quickly become trustworthy and have more successful interactions.
One key skill you can forget when listening is the power of a good question. Active listening is engaging in what you hear, asking questions such as ‘What would you like to happen?’ How can I help you address that? Shows you listen and you care.
4. Avoid bad people skills
Good people skills mean avoiding the bad people skills. Gossip and negativity can ruin any workplace relationships. If you are experiencing challenge with someone in your group, talk to them directly and kindly about the problem, be prepared to listen attentively and objectively.
Gossiping or colluding with other colleagues will only aggravate the issues, accelerating mistrust and animosity.
5. Give praise and feedback
Everyone wants to feel that their work is appreciated and to feel truly valued. Genuinely complimenting the work and actions of those around you is a great way to build relationships.
Be honest, precise and authentic when delivering praise. Thank you or a gentle word of encouragement can make all the difference to someone’s day. These positive interactions can have a ripple effect and create a much happier and more successful workplace
