Obaa Yaa
She must leave my house
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Having prayed seven years for the gift of the womb, l was blessed with a bouncy baby boy. This has brought about the need to arrange for a babysitter to step in when my maternity leave expires after three months.
Very helpful as she has always been, my mother arranged for a lady who has started work with zeal.
I was really impressed with the performance of this lady, and thought she was the type who l could confidently hand over my house schedules to and be rest assured that everything would be done according to my desire.
The sort of love that has developed between this lady and my first child is quite pleasing and attracts the attention of all visitors to the house.
Pleased with the performance of this lady, l once mentioned to my husband that it would be ideal if we arranged for an entrepreneurial skill training in addition to the monthly allowance we pay her.
This is to serve as a way of compensation for the invaluable services she has been rendering ever since she stepped foot in our house.
Unfortunately, reports from different sources had revealed that this lady was secretly comforting my husband in bed.
Without trying to verify the authenticity of these gossips, l am inclined to believe them because of my husband’s sudden change in character towards this lady.
My husband used to complain bitterly about all that this girl did, but he surprisingly sees no fault in this girl any longer.
What should l do to save my marriage?
Cynthia, Accra.
Dear Cynthia,
This is a dicey issue which must be carefully weighed and the possible options considered before you make a formal allegation.
You should imagine how embarrassing you will feel if this allegation turns out to be unfounded.On the contrary, you may end up worsening an already suspicious atmosphere in the house.
Any rational person with a good conscience will definitely feel uneasy when such matters are being alluded to in a conversation.
This is an opportunity for you to test their bodylanguage at different times to know their reactions. This will give you a clear picture of what is at stake, together with any further investigations you may decide to undertake.
Having done your underground checks, the next step for you to take is to expel your babysitter. Though it will be a difficult decision in view of the invaluable services that she has been rendering, you have to do it in order to save your marriage.
Know that it is not all men who have the ability to keep the marital bed intact.
Obaa Yaa
My driver raped me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 30-year- old married woman. I trade in foodstuffs and recently on a journey to convey some foods from the hinterlands, I was raped by my driver.
I can imagine how my husband will feel if I told him. He will divorce me right away without a second thought.
It was not my fault and I feel so hurt yet I cannot report to the police because I never wanted the incident to be made public.
Naana,
Sunyani.
Dear Naana,
I understand your dilemma and I think in the interest of your marriage let sleeping dogs lie.
On a second thought, how did a driver you have been working with for so many years rape you?
Does it mean you had feelings for each other or you were cheating on your husband?
Is there something you are hiding because I just cannot understand this incident.
Make sure it doesn’t happen to you again. In short, do not take that particular driver’s vehicle again.
Make sure you don’t stay over whenever you are on a trip.
Obaa Yaa
My past life is traumatising me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am currently going through difficult moments in my life because of my past activities.
I am a 35-year-old lady who is single and hoping to get married, however, nothing is working for me.
The issue is that, in the past, I had a special preference for only married men and so far, I have been able to date about seven of them. Out of this number, I have destroyed five of those marriages due to my relationship with the husbands.
I made sure I made time for them, cook and always offer them good treatment, especially in bed because they were all nice to me.
My dilemma is that, one of the men wants to marry me after divorcing his wife.
However, my friends are advising me not to make that move because it will look as if I am the reason for their break up.
Will I be wrong by marrying him because I am still single and searching?
Worried Lady,
Achimota.
Dear worried lady,
Marrying someone who has divorced the spouse because of you can be quite complex.
Even as you reflect on your journey and seek a new path, there are several concerns that may arise.
First, there’s the idea of karmic debt, which suggests that our actions bear consequences. In this context, marrying someone to whom you played a role in his divorce might evoke feelings of guilt or unease.
Additionally, it’s essential to consider the emotions of the wife who has been left behind. Entering into a marriage with her ex-husband could be viewed as a lack of respect for her and the relationship they once shared.
This situation also prompts important self-reflection regarding your personal growth. It’s worth contemplating whether marrying this person would signify genuine progress in your life or if it might merely lead to repeating past patterns.
However, there is another side to consider. Everyone deserves a second chance, and if you’ve truly repented, committing to someone who loves and accepts you could represent a positive step forward. Ultimately, the most crucial aspect of your decision should be your own happiness and well-being, as you strive to create a fulfilling future.
