Obaa Yaa
Should l take her back?
Should l take her back?
We had enjoyed a wonderful relationship with the blessings of our parents including our friends.
They described our union as an unbreakable bond of friendship which became the envy of many people.
As our love for each other grew over time, we had the blessings of our parents to marry.
Feverish preparations were made and we were looking forward to a memorable traditional marriage to be followed by a grand wedding ceremony.
However, a few months to the scheduled date, l realised my fiancé’s character had changed to my surprise.
Upon persistent pressure mounted on her to find out the reason behind her attitude, she was bold to tell me that someone else had proposed to her and she would marry him instead of me.
Having considered several factors and upon fervent prayers, l gave in to her decision and she went ahead to marry the man of her choice.
Though downhearted, l was able to pick up the pieces and settled down to marry another lady with an impeccable character.
Four years down the lane, one day my old fiancé called my phone for a lengthy discussion and she later followed up with many visits to my office.
To be brief, her marriage is now on the rocks and she is pleading that though l am married, l should take her as a second wife.
She visits me often, trying to woe me back but l am not moved since l am now married. I have decided to consider her as a family friend, and nothing more to that.
Kodzo, Accra.
Dear Kodzo,
I respect you for the high level of resilience you have put up in the midst of such a challenging experience.
Though others could have been swept off their feet to do the contrary, you persisted and gracefully succeeded with ease.
You have done the right thing by not neglecting her totally. You have also done well by accepting her as a family friend and nothing more to that.
Having taken this decision, make sure you go by it and do not allow yourself to be swayed by the relentless efforts of this old lover of yours who is capable of going to all lengths to win your love back.
Know your limitations and stick to your principles to remain unperturbed.
Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t respect her mother
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my girlfriend at home, and I was a witness to a hot exchange between her and the mother.
In fact, my girl used such words on the mother that I was compelled to hit her to keep her quiet. She later told me that her mother made her to behave like that.
The surprising thing is that she seemed to be such a respectful person, and was always very polite to my mother and even help her in the kitchen when she visits me.
I have told her in plain language that our relationship is off, but she keeps begging and she has even promised not to quarrel with her mother again.
But I can’t forget the scene I saw and the fact is that, it was not the first time.
Do you think she can change?
I love her, but I want my children to have a respectful mother.
Agbesi, keta.
Dear Agbesi,
LET me say this to you, you took the right decision in ending the relationship because she might not change. However, that is for her to work it out, so don’t let it be your problem.
Even the Bible in Exodus 20:12 has a lot to say against children who are disrespectful to their parents.
You are lucky you found out in time the sort of person she is.
Obaa Yaa
He wants me to be his cousin
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I got married shortly after we completed senior high school. My mother then bought a ticket for him to go abroad where he went and stayed with my brother.
He went through some kind of marriage over there in order to get a good job, or so he said, and he asked me to be patient.
A few weeks ago, my husband wrote to say that he was coming home with his wife, and that I should pretend to be a cousin. I also heard they have a child.
I can’t do what he wants me to, even though everyone, including my mother thinks I should.
And I don’t want to be his wife only when he comes home. I want to join him over there because that was the arrangement.
Akweley, Accra
Dear Akweley,
Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. If you can’t pretend, then don’t try.When you meet your husband, it is important to let him know how you feel about the arrangement.
And you will have to come to an agreement as to whether or not you want to continue with your marriage.
Whatever decision you come up to will not be easy for you, but do make sure that it is what is best for you.
• Kwabena kwabena in
