Relationship
Some questions you should refrain from asking a woman
There are a lot of topics that should be off-limits during casual conversations, but men seem to feel entitled all the time. They feel they can just ask these questions whenever they want because they’re men, and they can get away with it.
And if you’re that kind of guy, stop it. You aren’t entitled to anything. There are some things that you just don’t ask a woman because it’s just downright disrespectful to do so. You have no right to be so intrusive, especially when it comes to the intimate aspects of a woman’s lifestyle. You always have to treat women with respect and sensitivity if you want to be treated nicely in return.
At this point, you have to be mature enough to know that there are just some questions that you don’t get to ask – especially if you’re not close to a woman. It’s quite rude, and it shows lack of breeding. And you might just be ignorant, but she should not have to suffer for your ignorance. After all, in this new age of information, ignorance is no longer an excuse; it’s a choice. So stop being ignorant already. Be aware of the big “no-no” questions that you shouldn’t be asking a girl you’re not intimate with. Here are a few examples of those questions:
Unless you’re her family or you’re actively going to participate in the raising of her children, you have no right to be asking her about when she plans to have kids. You are placing unnecessary pressure on her to have children by doing so. She might be dealing with other aspects of life at that moment, and she might not want to be thinking about children yet. You don’t have the right to put those thoughts in her head.
- So… when are you going to get married?
Again, this shouldn’t be a question to ask unless you’re the one planning to marry her or if you’re going to pay for her wedding expenses. This shouldn’t be your business at all. If you have to ask this question (which you don’t), she isn’t the right person you should be asking.
You should be talking to whoever she is in a relationship with. He’s the one who has to propose to her after all. You shouldn’t be making her feel bad about the fact that she’s not married yet by asking her this question.
- You’ve lost/gained weight recently, what’s the matter?
Unless her weight gain or loss is becoming a health hazard for her, you have no right to be questioning her about it. In truth, you are just making her feel bad about her weight gain or loss. She isn’t going to like the fact that you’re making her feel like you’re judging her for how she looks.
How much money do you earn at your job?
Money is a big no-no question. You shouldn’t have to concern yourself with her paycheck if you only have a causal relationship. That’s sensitive information that you don’t have to know about.
- How old are you anyway?
A girl’s age is a sensitive topic, and you don’t have the right to be asking her about her age on a casual basis. It’s perfectly understandable to ask a girl of her age when she’s in an intimate relationship with someone or if she’s applying for a job.
But when it comes to being in a casual group setting and you put a girl on the spot by asking her about her age in front of a crowd, you are only coming off as an insensitive prick who is overstepping your bounds. Learn to be more sensitive and read the situation carefully before you say anything.
Source: dreamyhub.com
Relationship
What you should expect to learn in pre-marital counselling
- Pre-marital counselling involves couples coming together for joint therapy sessions
Many times, pre-marital counselling involves couples or partners coming together for joint therapy sessions. Working with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist, you will learn skills to help improve your relationship as a couple.
At the same time, it is not all pre-marital counselling that leads to marriage. It is possible that certain discoveries (and major red flags) could emerge during the counselling sessions, and for that reason one of you may want to discontinue the marriage process so as to avoid any future regrets.
From my experience and professional practice, I would say that no matter how painful it is to break up a relationship prior to marriage; it is still far better to do that than to break up your marriage relationship.
The marriage breakup has more serious implications than any pain that could emerge from relationship break up.
In some instances, the specific topics to be explored and skills to be developed in your pre-marital counselling sessions will depend on your needs as a couple.
Despite this, I would give you all the topics and skills to expect your counsellor to take you through in order to have a happy and lasting relationship.
Even if you are not considering pre-marital counselling at the moment, you can still benefit from these skills and topics. They are also an excellent way to create depth in your conversations and build a solid healthy foundation in the early stages of your relationship.
Not in any specific order, I would like you to take note of these important skills and lessons you will learn in your sessions: 1 understanding the concept of marriage, 2 building a strong foundation for your marriage, 3 examining your expectations leading to your marriage, 4 undergoing medical tests and sometimes mental health assessment, 5 resolving conflicts together, 6 communicating openly and effectively, 7 taking decisions as a couple, 8. building a strong Christian home (if you’re Christians), 9 building transparency and trust, 10 knowing yourselves: your strengths and weaknesses—and how to improve them, 11 building commitment towards the marriage and each other, 12 accepting your unique roles and responsibilities in your marriage, 13 planning your future together, 14 sexual intimacy in marriage, 15 bearing and raising children, 16 understanding the concept of love, 17 the role of love languages in experiencing marital happiness, 18 managing your home finances, 19 defining your beliefs and values, 20 adjustments in marriage, 21 balancing love, work, and family life, 22 relating with your in-laws and third parties, 23 creating your unique marriage and family rituals, 24 engaging married couples to learn from them, 25 understanding divorce and what causes it, 26 Christian view on divorce, 27 preparing for your marriage ceremony, 28 planning for your honeymoon and how to maximise it, and finally, 29 making your first year of marriage count.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
Tips for creating healthy working relationships
We spend around a third of our lives at work. Our jobs and careers make a real impact on our overall levels of happiness. Having good work relationships will always make our jobs more enjoyable
Also, when we have great workplace relationships we will demonstrate cooperation, trust and fairness, activating the reward centre of our brains which encourages even more positive interactions.
Here are some tips to create healthy relationships at the workplace.
1. Focus on self-awareness
This means taking full responsibility for your words and actions, not letting your own negative emotions impact the people around us.
If you feel frustration or resentment towards others this will manifest in what you observe and the way you engage.
By developing your own Emotional Intelligence, you will become more adept at identifying and handling your emotions be able to recognise the needs of others.
Again, if you view colleagues with compassion and respect, you will improve your interactions and build strong working relationships.
What would happen if you stopped making judgments and embraced a positive appraisal of your co-workers? If we saw difference as something valuable that could be harnessed and actually enhance your perception and understanding of those around you? Your vibe will always attract your tribe.
2. Be open and honest
A good relationships depend on open, honest communication. Whether you are sending emails or meeting face-to-face or on video calls, the more effectively you communicate with those around you, the better you will connect. It is important to identify the nature of your relationships with others.
What is it that we need and what do our colleagues need from us? Once you know the fundamentals of what you need you can be clear with communicating and better understanding each other’s requirements.
3. Practice active listening
Good people skills are essential. How good are you at collaborating, communicating and managing challenge? People respond better to those who truly listen to what they have to say. By practicing active listening, you will talk less and understand colleagues more and you will quickly become trustworthy and have more successful interactions.
One key skill you can forget when listening is the power of a good question. Active listening is engaging in what you hear, asking questions such as ‘What would you like to happen?’ How can I help you address that? Shows you listen and you care.
4. Avoid bad people skills
Good people skills mean avoiding the bad people skills. Gossip and negativity can ruin any workplace relationships. If you are experiencing challenge with someone in your group, talk to them directly and kindly about the problem, be prepared to listen attentively and objectively.
Gossiping or colluding with other colleagues will only aggravate the issues, accelerating mistrust and animosity.
5. Give praise and feedback
Everyone wants to feel that their work is appreciated and to feel truly valued. Genuinely complimenting the work and actions of those around you is a great way to build relationships.
Be honest, precise and authentic when delivering praise. Thank you or a gentle word of encouragement can make all the difference to someone’s day. These positive interactions can have a ripple effect and create a much happier and more successful workplace
