Relationship
Some reasons you are always attracting the wrong guy
Depraved relationships can be messy. You end up questioning your very existence and your standards for love. You can’t help but wonder about what you’ve done to deserve the hell that you’ve just been through. What did you do to deserve that boyfriend who mistreated you and emotionally manipulated you? What you don’t realise is that you probably brought this havoc upon yourself with your bad decisions and misguided intentions.
You can save yourself the hassles of heartache by improving your standards and changing the way you go about choosing a potential mate. Girls often make the mistake of going into relationships with wrong expectations, so they end up hurting themselves in the process when their expectations aren’t met. Don’t fall victim to your own wrong decisions and start approaching relationships better.
You prioritise look over personality
The one way to be blindsided into getting yourself into a toxic relationship is to allow you to prioritise looks over personalities. Scrutinises won’t be everything 10 years down the line. If you’re looking to be in a serious long-term relationship with someone, then you should start looking into peoples’ personalities more than their looks. Looks will fade away eventually, but personalities can only shine brighter with age. It would help if you always chose to be with someone who makes you happy over someone easy on the eyes.
Choosing someone who has the same personality as your toxic ex
You have a type. We understand that. But it would not be very reasonable for you to keep on getting into a relationship with people who have the same personality type and expect different results every time. Switch up your tastes and raise your standards. Reevaluate the qualities you want in a partner, and see if they are worth sustaining in a relationship.
You prefer the loud one to the quiet one
Often, you’ll be drawn to the loud and eloquent partner with whom you can seemingly strike a conversation at any given moment. You may end up overlooking quiet, quiet introverts who have just as much love to give you in the process. Be wary. The loud, talkative ones don’t necessarily have the best personalities and might bring toxicity to your relationships. There are perfectly great potential life partners waiting in the wings who don’t have the courage to strike up a conversation. Don’t overlook them and test the waters a little bit. You never know what gems you may end up finding if you put in a little effort.
Letting popularity be a factor in determining worth
Social status is incredibly essential to you, and you only want to be linked with the most popular people. That can spell disaster for you in the future because sometimes, the most popular people don’t necessarily make the best life partners. Yes, you can be dating someone with elite social status, but if you don’t connect emotionally, then what’s the point? You’ll only end up disappointing yourself in the long run, and you won’t have anyone else to blame but yourself.
Source: www.dreamyhub.com
Relationship
What you should expect to learn in pre-marital counselling
- Pre-marital counselling involves couples coming together for joint therapy sessions
Many times, pre-marital counselling involves couples or partners coming together for joint therapy sessions. Working with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist, you will learn skills to help improve your relationship as a couple.
At the same time, it is not all pre-marital counselling that leads to marriage. It is possible that certain discoveries (and major red flags) could emerge during the counselling sessions, and for that reason one of you may want to discontinue the marriage process so as to avoid any future regrets.
From my experience and professional practice, I would say that no matter how painful it is to break up a relationship prior to marriage; it is still far better to do that than to break up your marriage relationship.
The marriage breakup has more serious implications than any pain that could emerge from relationship break up.
In some instances, the specific topics to be explored and skills to be developed in your pre-marital counselling sessions will depend on your needs as a couple.
Despite this, I would give you all the topics and skills to expect your counsellor to take you through in order to have a happy and lasting relationship.
Even if you are not considering pre-marital counselling at the moment, you can still benefit from these skills and topics. They are also an excellent way to create depth in your conversations and build a solid healthy foundation in the early stages of your relationship.
Not in any specific order, I would like you to take note of these important skills and lessons you will learn in your sessions: 1 understanding the concept of marriage, 2 building a strong foundation for your marriage, 3 examining your expectations leading to your marriage, 4 undergoing medical tests and sometimes mental health assessment, 5 resolving conflicts together, 6 communicating openly and effectively, 7 taking decisions as a couple, 8. building a strong Christian home (if you’re Christians), 9 building transparency and trust, 10 knowing yourselves: your strengths and weaknesses—and how to improve them, 11 building commitment towards the marriage and each other, 12 accepting your unique roles and responsibilities in your marriage, 13 planning your future together, 14 sexual intimacy in marriage, 15 bearing and raising children, 16 understanding the concept of love, 17 the role of love languages in experiencing marital happiness, 18 managing your home finances, 19 defining your beliefs and values, 20 adjustments in marriage, 21 balancing love, work, and family life, 22 relating with your in-laws and third parties, 23 creating your unique marriage and family rituals, 24 engaging married couples to learn from them, 25 understanding divorce and what causes it, 26 Christian view on divorce, 27 preparing for your marriage ceremony, 28 planning for your honeymoon and how to maximise it, and finally, 29 making your first year of marriage count.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
Tips for creating healthy working relationships
We spend around a third of our lives at work. Our jobs and careers make a real impact on our overall levels of happiness. Having good work relationships will always make our jobs more enjoyable
Also, when we have great workplace relationships we will demonstrate cooperation, trust and fairness, activating the reward centre of our brains which encourages even more positive interactions.
Here are some tips to create healthy relationships at the workplace.
1. Focus on self-awareness
This means taking full responsibility for your words and actions, not letting your own negative emotions impact the people around us.
If you feel frustration or resentment towards others this will manifest in what you observe and the way you engage.
By developing your own Emotional Intelligence, you will become more adept at identifying and handling your emotions be able to recognise the needs of others.
Again, if you view colleagues with compassion and respect, you will improve your interactions and build strong working relationships.
What would happen if you stopped making judgments and embraced a positive appraisal of your co-workers? If we saw difference as something valuable that could be harnessed and actually enhance your perception and understanding of those around you? Your vibe will always attract your tribe.
2. Be open and honest
A good relationships depend on open, honest communication. Whether you are sending emails or meeting face-to-face or on video calls, the more effectively you communicate with those around you, the better you will connect. It is important to identify the nature of your relationships with others.
What is it that we need and what do our colleagues need from us? Once you know the fundamentals of what you need you can be clear with communicating and better understanding each other’s requirements.
3. Practice active listening
Good people skills are essential. How good are you at collaborating, communicating and managing challenge? People respond better to those who truly listen to what they have to say. By practicing active listening, you will talk less and understand colleagues more and you will quickly become trustworthy and have more successful interactions.
One key skill you can forget when listening is the power of a good question. Active listening is engaging in what you hear, asking questions such as ‘What would you like to happen?’ How can I help you address that? Shows you listen and you care.
4. Avoid bad people skills
Good people skills mean avoiding the bad people skills. Gossip and negativity can ruin any workplace relationships. If you are experiencing challenge with someone in your group, talk to them directly and kindly about the problem, be prepared to listen attentively and objectively.
Gossiping or colluding with other colleagues will only aggravate the issues, accelerating mistrust and animosity.
5. Give praise and feedback
Everyone wants to feel that their work is appreciated and to feel truly valued. Genuinely complimenting the work and actions of those around you is a great way to build relationships.
Be honest, precise and authentic when delivering praise. Thank you or a gentle word of encouragement can make all the difference to someone’s day. These positive interactions can have a ripple effect and create a much happier and more successful workplace
