Relationship
Spiritual implications of divorce
Divorce has significant spiritual ramifications, affecting not only the couple but also their children and extended family members. For individuals grounded in faith, marriage is often considered a covenant blessed by God. Thus, divorce can challenge personal beliefs, shake the spiritual foundations of those involved, and create a lasting impact on the religious aspects of their lives (Lambert, 2014).
a. Weakening of spiritual foundation
Termination of marriage can severely shake the spiritual foundation of both spouses and their children. For many Christians, marriage is a union ordained by God, making its dissolution deeply troubling. The emotional pain, confusion, and self-doubt that come with divorce can cause people to question their faith, creating a sense of spiritual disconnection. According to Thomas and Sawhill (2002), individuals who undergo divorce frequently report feeling spiritually uprooted and distant from their beliefs, which can make it difficult to find peace and solace in religious practices.
b. Struggle with forgiveness
One of the core tenets of Christianity and many other faiths is forgiveness. Divorce, especially if caused by betrayals or abuse, challenges this value, resulting in bitterness and resentment (Lambert, 2014). Both partners may struggle with forgiveness—whether it is forgiving each other, forgiving themselves, or even forgiving others involved in the process, such as family members or friends who took sides. This inability to forgive can create a lingering sense of guilt, further complicating the healing process and obstructing spiritual growth.
c. Conflict with biblical teachings
For many Christians, marriage is a lifelong commitment, underpinned by scriptures that discourage divorce. The Bible, for example, states in Matthew 19:6 (NIV): “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Divorce presents an internal conflict with these teachings on the sanctity of marriage and the permanence of vows, often leaving individuals feeling ashamed or guilty for “breaking” a sacred vow. This can trigger emotional turmoil as individuals try to reconcile their decision with their religious values (Lambert, 2014).
d. Impact on prayer and worship
The emotional toll of divorce affects the ability of the spouse and children to engage in prayer and worship. Feelings of unworthiness, guilt, or abandonment may hinder individuals from fully participating in communal worship or private devotion (Amato & Previti, 2003). Studies suggest that religiously active individuals going through divorce may feel distant from their spiritual community—leading to lower levels of participation in religious practices (Kreider, 2020). This alienation can exacerbate the emotional and spiritual pain, creating a barrier between the individual and their faith.
e. Sense of abandonment and spiritual isolation
The breakdown of a marriage can instill a sense of abandonment, not only from the former spouse but also from God. People may question why they had to endure the pain of separation and may feel that God has abandoned them. This spiritual isolation may contribute to a crisis of faith, as individuals may grapple with feelings of being forsaken. A study on faith and marital dissolution in the USA found that 29 per cent of divorces reported a temporary or permanent decline in their belief in divine support during and after the process (Lambert, 2014).
f. Difficulty in finding spiritual healing
Divorce complicates the process of spiritual healing. The deep wounds left by the end of a marriage can create an inner sense of failure—making it challenging for individuals to accept God’s forgiveness or feel worthy of divine love. This can obstruct efforts toward spiritual restoration and growth, making it difficult for those involved to achieve peace. Research shows that people who participate in regular faith-based support groups or counselling programmes tend to recover more effectively from the spiritual and emotional scars left by divorce (Kreider, 2020).
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
Tips for a stress free family Christmas
Many people find Christmas a stressful time and this is often to do with expectations. We all worry about getting the right gifts for people, preparing the perfect Christmas dinner, getting the house ready and spending concentrated time with extended family.
To help you have a fun Christmas rather than a frazzled one here are some tips for keeping the pressure off.
1. State expectations
Make sure that you have conversations with your family and friends about everyone’s expectations of Christmas well in advance. That way you can deal with any difficult demands and make compromises that suit everyone.
If you are worried about the cost of Christmas, you could also set some spending limits for gifts or come up with ideas for presents that don’t need to be bought; for example washing the car or making someone breakfast in bed.
2. Remember it’s OK to say no
As well as talking to your family about what they want to happen at Christmas be honest about what you want to do too.
If you want to turn something down, explain why you do not want to do it, and have a suggestion ready for an alternative.
For example instead of taking on all the cooking you could suggest a ‘bring and share’ meal so that everyone takes a share of the work.
3. Practical prep
If you are hosting Christmas, it is always a good idea to do some prep beforehand – simple things like making (or buying!) the food early or wrapping presents the weekend before can really help.
Make a list of tasks that need to be done in the run up to Christmas and ask your family and friends to each put their name to something. You can stick this up at home and even get the kids to decorate it with Christmas pictures or stickers.
4. Delegate, delegate, delegate
Do not be afraid to ask your guests for help. We can all fall into the trap of wanting to be the perfect host, but in reality, hosting Christmas Day can be very demanding. Asking people to help can make everyone feel involved. Children really like to feel helpful, so get them involved with handing round snacks or setting the table.
5. Avoid conflict
If you are worried your guests might not get on, go for a walk in the afternoon to break things up a little. This gives everyone the chance to chat to someone different, or even to stay at home if tension is building.
Equally, you can always ask a guest to make drinks, or help out with the kids in order to break up any potential conflict.
6. It is your Christmas too
Christmas Day can whizz by in a festive blur without you so much has sniffing a glass of fizz or pulling a cracker because you’re frantically trying to make everything perfect for everyone else.
Remember that it is your Christmas too and you should be able to enjoy it. Make a timetable for the day so that there are regular times when you can sit down and talk with everyone or play with the children.
Relationship
Social and economic implications of divorce
Social Implications
divorce has social consequences that extend beyond the couple to affect families, communities, and society. The failure of a marriage often leads to a ripple effect that transforms social relationships and societal dynamics (Amato, 2010).
a. Impact on family dynamics
Marital dissolution reshapes family roles and responsibilities, often resulting in conflicts among family members. Studies indicate that children often feel torn between parents, leading to strained parent-child relationships (Lansford, 2009). In Ghana, studies have shown that children in divorced families are more prone to behavioural issues, often feeling unsupported and confused (Abane, 2011). Additionally, research suggests that parental divorce can lead to long-term emotional instability in children—affecting their ability to form secure attachments and causing relational difficulties that may last well into adulthood (Fagan & Churchill, 2012).
b. Community disruption
When marriages break down, communities experience a weakening of social ties. People who are divorced and their children may feel alienated or stigmatised, and thereby become more withdrawn. In the USA, a report by the Institute for Family Studies (Wilcox et al. [2020]) reveals that community-level marriage dissolution correlates with lower community engagement and weaker social bonds. This can contribute to a reduction in collective cohesion, support networks, and social integration—affecting the quality of community life and overall societal well-being (Harkonen, 2014).
c. Children’s social development
Children of divorced parents commonly struggle with issues such as insecurity, trust, and difficulty building relationships. According to a study conducted in the UK, children belonging to divorcees are 33 per cent more likely to experience anxiety and social withdrawal than those in stable two-parent families (Office for National Statistics, 2021). Similarly, Nigerian studies show that children from divorced families mostly struggle with peer relationships, academic performance, and self-esteem (Olowodunoye & Ogungbamila, 2013). These social challenges can have lasting impacts, including increased risks of academic and occupational hurdles in adulthood.
Economic Implications
The economic costs of divorce are both immediate and long-term. They impact individuals and families, and on a larger scale, can influence the economic health of entire societies (Wagner & Weiss, 2006).
a. Financial strain
People’s financial stability can suffer greatly due to divorce. One or both spouses may struggle to cover basic expenses and maintain their pre-divorce lifestyle. Studies from the USA show that, on average, divorce can shrink household income by 15-40 per cent due to legal fees, asset division, and shifts in living arrangements (Amato, 2014). In Ghana, research suggests that divorced women, in particular, face financial hardship, with many relying on extended family support (Osei-Hwedie & Mwansa, 2007). Moreover, divorce in Nigeria substantially changes financial security, especially for women who lack legal protection for property or financial rights (Isiugo-Abanihe, 2005).
b. Impact on career and productivity
Marriage dissolution can alter work productivity and career growth. A study conducted by the United Kingdom’s Marriage Foundation (2019) revealed that individuals undergoing divorce tend to encounter a temporary drop in work performance, with a reported 20 per cent increase in sick days among recently divorced employees. Career disruption not only influences personal financial stability but can also minimise overall workforce efficiency, with consequences for national economic output (Vignoli et al., 2018).
c. Economic burden on society
The economic consequence of divorce extends beyond the individuals involved, placing a financial strain on public resources. A report from the Institute of Economic Affairs (2016) found that family breakdown costs the UK economy approximately £48 billion annually in welfare and support programmes, with similar patterns observed in the USA (Thomas & Sawhill, 2002). Divorce-related economic challenges normally require government intervention in the form of social welfare, housing assistance, and other public benefits, making family dysfunction an economic burden on society (Vignoli et al., 2018).
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https:// counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/ edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
