Obaa Yaa
Stepson comes with blessings
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been married for five years without a child and as usual people gave us names and tried to ridicule us.
Though we were in hard times and it was extremely difficult to obtain a square meal, l was more surprised to learn that in the midst of all these problems, my husband had gone to impregnate a young lady and the parents had threatened to report the matter to the police.
Following this incident, an elderly woman in the area came to whisper into my ears that though difficult to bear, l should not get angry since this unfortunate incident could bring about a turning point in my marriage. Initially, l considered the piece of advice from the old woman a trash.
While some blamed my husband for the mess he had caused, others were quick to say that he was justified because l could not conceive.
I lost appetite for food and the whole world seemed to be crumbling over my head. Under the circumstance, several issues came to my mind and the idea of divorce stood tall among the options.
There was no peace in the house a few days following this shocker from my husband. Having thought about it, l could not believe it and contemplated divorce in order to have my peace.
One early morning, I was surprised when the old woman came to our house again and asked me to forget about divorce, and ended with these words, “Treat this child with love and one day you will reap the immense benefits”.
After this child was fully integrated into the family, my husband got a job, l became pregnant and ever since there is absolute peace in the family. Thanks to the good counsel of the old lady who calmed the raging tempers in the family.
I wish to use this column to advise wives to remain patient when matters go bad.
Faustina, Accra.
Dear Faustina,
I am extremely glad about this wonderful piece of information which will help calm raging tempers in families when such issues occur.
My conviction is that it is always advisable to listen to good counsel whenever there is a problem and take the right decision.
This should not be misconstrued as supporting husbands who indulge in extra-marital affairs.
I wish to commend Madam Faustina for the demonstration of tolerance and love for the little boy. Having gotten a child, she must not change her attitude towards this boy.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.
