Features
The tragedy of battered husbands
Women are standing the men toe-to-toe
It is revealing that men are now going to WAJU to report their wives for all sorts of marital transgressions including ball-grabbing. The problem is that when a man fights his wife, he risks damage to his most prized earthly possession – a set of balls.
In days gone by, women were scratching their husbands’ faces. Now, they have grown wiser. They are standing the men toe-to-toe, and when the going gets tough, they grab balls and do all kinds of things to it.
Some men have virtually been emasculated because in a single year they have suffered all kinds of illicit manipulation of their testicles, including pulling, dragging and anything short of toasting. So, that organ of the body has become so violated and it seems only WAJU can save them from further torment.
Now, WAJU is for women and juveniles as the name suggests-Women and Juvenile Unit. It is time men became part of the show, because whenever they report their wives, they are not turned away. They are rather welcomed with open arms and encouraged to tell their stories. Some are interesting:
“I didn’t know my wife was a champion boxer till I reduced the chop money because I was broke. She beat me pasaaa! When I regained my composure and also wanted to dish it to her, she dashed for my-eh- I mean my thing. Oh Jesus Christ! Now, the thing can’t stand up,” a man would narrate to the sympathetic ear.
It is easy for WAJU to sympathise with such a complainant, but going beyond sympathy to ascertain the veracity of the complaint by examining the man’s thing can be problematic. Assuming the nice WAJU lady started examining the man intimately and his thing decided to wake up?
Generally, when a man approaches WAJU to tell his story, it means he has had enough of battering and might end up being castrated.
The fact is that marital castration is becoming one popular means being employed by jealous women to keep their men sober for life.
In Kenya, a recent case is worth reproducing: A 30-year- old Kenyan man with two wives got greedy and cheated on them both, but his fun was cut short when his furious mates found out, chopped off his wee- wee and tossed it away.
When the wives got wind that their skirt-chasing hubby was triple-timing them, they tracked him down to a house in the town of Kilogiris where he was frolicking with a pretty young female companion, the BBC reports.
First, the knife wielding duo vented their fury on his terrified stark-naked girlfriend, attacking her and chopping off one of her ears. Then as the cheating husband tried to run for it, the scorned females cornered him, held him down and gave him the Lorena Bobbit treatment.
The victim was rushed to hospital where he is reportedly in fair condition, though efforts to track down his missing manhood were unsuccessful.
Kenyan police are now hunting the two man-maiming harpies, who took off after taking their revenge, according to BBC reporter Muchiri Kioj in Kilogiris.
If it has happened in Kenya, then it can happen in Ghana. Even in South Africa where rape has almost become a national pastime, it came to a time when some women decided to adopt forcible castration of rapists.
It meant taking the law into their own hands, but they felt the criminal justice system was itself too impotent to deal with the situation.
So in some communities, you can rape alright, but when you get caught, the consequences for you can be tragic.
And I hear castrated men are just as funky as any castrated pig. All they think about is food. As for romance, it is well beyond their capacity and even their imagination.
Now in Ghana, most women are fighting for the passage of the Domestic Violence Bill. They have come up with an idea called marital rape, suggesting that if you pressurise your wife into having sex, to you might as well be heading for Nsawam for a five-year cool-off.
I don’t know where women got that idea from. I guess when they went to Beijing in the 1990s, they had many fantasies and many ideas created to tame the male libido. So a wife can unilaterally declare when she would have sex and plan a time-table copied to her husband.
The husband has no choice but to start nodding like an agama lizard. “Can you please shift the Tuesday event to Monday and Friday to Saturday?” he may plead. “On Saturdays I’m double horny.”
Which marriage on earth can subsist on sex prescriptions and time-tables? Some women see the danger and have called on the authorities to forget the Domestic Violence Bill altogether. They know when the Bill is passed into law that is the end of their marriages.
Now if the Bill should be passed, then it must provide for what is known as Contract Marriages. You can marry for one year on contract and renew it for another year when both parties agree on it.
Man and wife can marry in 2005 take a two-year break and re-enter the contract in 2007 depending on their mood. There will be no need for divorce if the couples decide not to renew a contract. The man goes left and the wife goes right. No court case.
The world is gradually pushing towards a global society where cherished institutions like marriage can no longer perpetuate because they have been tempered with man-made laws as against the law of The BIBLE.
Features
The Prophet part 4
Antobam woke up with a terrible headache. He checked the time on his mobile phone, 2:30 am. “What! Where is the money?” He asked aloud. “Where are those girls? Why did I drink so much of that whisky? What were those two girls up to?” He sat up on the bed and noticed a bulge close to the pillow.
He lifted the mattress and picked up the newspaper wrappers with the neatly arranged notes. He saw the neatly written record of the value of the notes. No, those girls are not thieves.
“It was my mistake. If I hadn’t drank myself to sleep they would be here in bed with me, giving me the time of my life. Pretty girls, those two. And so loyal and honest. Tomorrow will be different.”
“I will not drink any whisky, and I will show them that I am a real man. Just then he heard the whispers. Very soon it will be time, they seemed to be saying. This is an important day.”
The gold dealer will bring lots of money. Give him some of the liquid to drink, and we will prepare him. He will do very big business, and he will give you anything you ask for. There will be more miracles and testimonies today.
Antobam smiled to himself. “I am going to be a very rich man in only a few days man. Money, power, and women. Wow! Antobam got to the grounds at 5, but there were quite a number of people waiting.
Mr Kwame Dofu was among them. He greeted them all, and they came around to shake his hand. “My brothers and sisters, I assure you that whatever your problem is, you will not go home without a solution.” Shouts of “Amen” “thank” you Osofo and “you are a true man of God” responded.
“Please take your seats, and start talking to the great one about whatever bothers you. Before the service is over, there will be a solution.” He waved Mr Dofu over, and went with him to the wooden structure that serves as a temporary office.
“My brother, I have done quite a lot of work on the issue you came to see me about. I have prepared a special, powerful package for you. Take this, drink it, and go back to your business. I want to see you in two weeks.”
Beaming with smiles, Mr Dofu drank the foul smelling liquid in two gulps, said a big thank you to Antobam and took his leave. “I believe you, Papa Osofo. And I assure you that I will reward you, big time.”
Just when Osofo Antubam finished with Mr Dofu, Mary and Suzzie went over to him. “Good Morning ladies. I am very sorry about yesterday. I drank too much of the stuff you gave me. Today will be different, I assure you.”
“Don’t worry, Osofo. Since you are now setting things up, our main concern now is to help you to put things in place, and to make you comfortable. We are always there to serve you. This morning, Osofo, we want to go and clean up your place, and prepare something nice for you when you close.
And before coming to church, we will pass by the bank and collect the forms. After you have signed them, the account will be open. You can check the payments anytime and, of course, issue cheques whenever you need money.”
“Suzzie and Mary, I am happy I picked the two of you from the very start. Listen, I will take good care of you, okay? Here is some money. Buy whatever you need for the errands you have mentioned.
And here is the key. Please come back as early as you can. You know I need you here.” The service was very lively. The lively singing of praise songs was followed by one and a half hours of testimonies.
Most of them related to money – big sales, new jobs and overdue debts paid. But there were also testimonies about healing. Barren women had taken seed, and, of course, several men who had lost their bedroom authority had regained them, to the delight of their partners.
As he had promised, Antobam preached for only 30 minutes, exhorting the congregation to attend church regularly, pay their tithes and offerings, and strictly follow his ‘directions’ for securing solutions to their problems.
After another round of praises during which the congregation danced to the floor to drop their offering, he closed the service, grabbed the big bowl which was full to the brim with money, and moved to his desk. A long queue was quickly formed at the desk.
Meanwhile, Mary and Suzzie had gone to give Antobam’s place quite a decent look. A new bedsheet and pillows, a secondhand carpet and four plastic chairs placed in the verandah had done the trick.
They also prepared two fish and chicken stews. After all these, they rushed to the National Savings Bank and collected application forms for opening current and savings accounts.
They joined the service a few minutes before the main session closed. Antobam looked round and saw, to his relief, Mary and Suzzie moving towards him. “Hello ladies. What have you been up to?” “Quite a bit, Osofo. We’ve just collected your drink. Here you are. We’ve made a few changes at your place. I think you will like it. You will also have something nice to eat. Now, here are the forms for the savings and current accounts.
If you will sign them, the bank will open the account. From today, we can pay all monies direct into the account.” ‘How can I thank you, ladies?” “You don’t need to thank us,” Suzzie said. “It is our duty to help a man of God succeed.” “Okay, my ladies, please take the offerings and count them as you did yesterday.
You can add the payments made after the consultations. Will it be possible to pay them into the account today?” “Yes,” Mary said. “The bank closes at four. If we leave here at three, we would be there just in time.”
The two friends started counting, as Osofo Antobam gave his clients his directions for solving their problems. On quite a few occasions he closed his eyes as if he was receiving direction from above on what to do.
But as the fetish priest at the Nana Kofi Broni shrine and the dwarfs had assured him, the solutions would certainly be provided. Having heard the huge testimonies earlier in the day, the clients parted with substantial sums of money in expectation.
By Ekow de Heer
Features
The issue of spiritual father in our churches
A student was supposed to go to school as the natural cause of events should be when universities or schools in general opens but this was not the case in a certain young man’s life.
He decided to postpone his trip because apparently he could not get to meet his pastor, his spiritual father. The question is, should this spiritual father die, will the young man’s life come to an end?
Does it mean in such an instance, he is going to curtail his education? This is a worrying trend in a lot of churches where the pastors use this notion of spiritual father to manipulate members especially the youth.
Some unscrupulous pastors utilise this spiritual father concept to have affairs with gullible young ladies in their churches.
Now with homosexuality gradually making inroads into some of the churches, young men are becoming vulnerable to pastors who have hidden homosexual inclinations.
This spiritual father concept is a Biblical concept that runs through both the Old Testament as well as the New Testament. We see it in 2 Kings 4:12 where Gehazi is serving Elisha and also in the New Testament we see Paul relating to Timothy in 1 Timothy 1:2 as a Spiritual Father.
In fact, the concept of spiritual father is a good thing if executed according to the word of God since it helps in guiding the younger ones. However, it becomes problematic when it is being executed by unscrupulous wolves in sheepskins as described by Jesus in Mathew 7:15.
I see it as a way that these unscrupulous so-called men of God maintain their hold on the congregants so they do not question their unchristian actions.
One of the things I have observed since I got born again many years ago is that, any pastor who often insists that members recognise that he is their spiritual father is a warning sign that he is doing some wrong things or is about to indulge in some wrong things.
A parent complained about how his daughter was being influenced by a pastor of the church she attends and how worried he was. I am sure there are many parents out there with stories to tell about how their wards are being made to see their pastors almost like their Jesus.
These pastors have managed to make their congregants so loyal to them and to believe in them so much that it is terrifying, as a parent.
The way things are going, an immediate intervention is required otherwise I am not a prophet of doom but I forsee unfortunate instances where parents burst into church auditoriums and star shooting some Pastors out of frustration and anger.
We cannot look on unconcerned as a society and allow unscrupulous fraudsters using the name of God to create problems for families. My recommendation is for a certain amount of regulation in order to bring some sanity in religious practices.
I agree that ordinarily regulating religious practices makes it a bit restrictive in terms of freedom of worship as enshrined in our constitution but given the way things are going, a bit of regulation will not be out of place.
Disgusting stuff are being attributed to some men of God. There are cases of manipulation of young ladies and sometimes married women by so called men of God and it is bringing Christianity and therefore the name of the Lord into disrepute.
Christianity is gradually losing its attractiveness as a result of the negative reportage resulting from disgusting stuff happening in Christian circles. The way some pastors have been manipulating congregants to take money from them leaves much to be desired to the point where they are convincing some of the youth to give out their phones. May God help us.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah