Obaa Yaa
They always insult me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young woman married to a businessman who is doing well in life. Right from the outset, our marriage has been plagued with interferences. He has a problem of discussing our marital issues with his family members and friends and even consulting them before reaching any decision without my knowledge.
What makes matters worse is that he insults me at the least provocation, but only consults me only when he needs my help. Anytime l complain, he takes offence and would not be in good terms with me for a long period.
This situation has been going on for quite a long time and l am now used to it because l have no alternative. But I must say that it does not auger well for us.
Recently, the wife of one of his friends called me on phone and rained insults on me by using words like, “ you are useless” and others that l cannot use in print. The second incident was when one of his relatives told me that l was foolish and did not deserve to be married to their cousin.
Although l was hurt by both insults, l did not react instantly, but took it cool and ignored the insults for peace to prevail.
The issue is that whenever l see them, it reminds me of the nasty words they used on me.
What should l do?
Dear Felix,
I wish to commend you for comporting yourself in the face of all the challenges that you are going through.
The audacity with which the family members are insulting you clearly shows that they have the backing of your husband that is why they have the effrontery to do what they have done.
Secondly, the adage that there is no smoke without fire also lends credence to the fact that your husband has given them a lot of information.
This sort of situation cannot go on forever, therefore, enough must be enough. You have to inform your husband about the continued misbehaviour of his relatives and the people who are close to him and know much about what pertains in your family.
He should know that you are hurt and cannot entertain the insults any longer. He should know that there is a limit to everything and he should not forget that you also have family members and friends who are capable of defending you.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.
