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Obaa Yaa

Should l accept him back?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

Our lovely relationship ended when l disclosed to him that l was pregnant. Initially, he denied responsibility of the pregnancy, but his mother who said she would not condone wrongdoing because the two of us were always together said she believed her son was responsible.

I went through painful labour after which l was delivered of my baby.

Since he wasn’t working then, his mother who was a single parent came to my assistance and helped me and my baby until her resources were depleted.

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Luckily, he was able to get a job and this good fortune revived my hopes that things would  be better and the education of my child and upkeep were assured.

This could not be as my man abandoned us and moved to settle in Accra without any prior information and stayed with a new lady he had befriended.

For close to three years, l was left to cater for my child’s education and everything by taking up menial jobs.

Painfully, he has changed his telephone number which makes  it difficult for me to reach him on phone to discuss issues concerning the wellbeing of our child.

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A week to Christmas, he came and pleaded with me to forgive him the wrong he had done against me and accept him back.

It was not easy entertaining him because of the way he had treated me, and for the fact that l lost my parents which he never   considered to sympathise with me or find out how his child fared.

He has left me thinking about the appropriate step l have to take under the circumstance.

Should l accept him back?

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Nancy, Cape Coast.

Dear Nancy,

It is not easy living under such circumstances and from all indications you have endured a lot of pain and hardships over the period.

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I can confirm that two of such ‘come backs’ had produced different results. In the first instance, the gentleman returned a changed and very humble person who eventually brought back smiles to  the family.

In the second example, the man was only looking for another opportunity and succeeded by taking advantage of the leniency of the lady and ended up doing worse things.

You ought to be careful about this gentleman who could be an opportunist, and has come back to deceive you once again as though he is a changed person who has come to improve your condition.

Be mindful of his decision to reject the pregnancy in  the beginning but for the intervention of his mother. This gentleman could be making a return because of your new looks.

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Obaa Yaa

Under pressure from family to marry

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.

It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.

Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.

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Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.

Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?

Akwasi.

Dear Akwasi,

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MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.

You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.

No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.

Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.

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Obaa Yaa

He forcibly kissed me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.

Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.

He is very kind, lovely, faith­ful, caring, humble and God-fear­ing.

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We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.

One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forci­bly kissed me.

Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.

Should I go on with this rela­tionship?

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Annora, Sunyani.

Dear Anora,

YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.

Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.

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He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship be­cause of the incident that hap­pened.

If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.

If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.

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