Features
The thief-catching committees…
There are different breeds including those labelled as ‘cautious thieves’. They are not the bold type and, therefore, steal when no one is looking. However, such thieves are not lucky because they do not have the qualities of the spider. When you think no one is looking, someone might be looking from an angle acute to your left ear.
Some thieves realise the fact that they do not have eight eyes and, therefore, adopt the bold strategy approach. Such a type would walk straight into your house and tell your wife that you’ve sent him to come and service the television and video-deck.
The deck and telly are all in excellent condition and your wife will express a bit of doubt about why you’ve sent a repairer but…
“You mean Mr Osei sent you?”
“Yes. He says the integrated circuit needs to be changed to improve picture quality. A taxi is waiting outside.”
The wife is bound to believe this because the man is bedecked in the working gear of a TV repairman and holds a tester in hand.
Moreover, he walks like a radio-mechanic, smiles like an electronic engineer and has a transistor-like nose. And he is talking knowledgeably about something called integrated circuit which is a scientific term not akin to the vocabulary of housewives.
“When will you bring it back?”
“Before six o’clock. Lest I forget, he says I should take GH¢6,000 from you for transportation and incidental expenses.
So the guy is smart enough to take away all your electronic equipment in addition to GH¢6,000 for beer and khebab.”
Another brand of thieves comprise those who use force. They arm themselves with rifles, semi-automatic weapons, machets, kitchen knives and grenades. They are called armed robbers or jaguda (Nigeria parlance), and they normally operate gangs.
In some cases, there are certain requirements one must meet before he can be a member of a gang. For example you’re below a certain height you’ll not be eligible for admission because when it comes to making an escape you may be found wanting.
You must have the kind of muscles that can help in street-fighting and your face must be distinguished on the negative side, meaning that you must be looking hard and satanic-looking.
After you’ve been robbed, armed robbers can also kill you if they see a possibility of you identifying them later. Dead men don’t talk too much!
The day I really got angry with thieves was in 1985 when one of them professionally stole my Mum’s corn-dough. The old lady had soaked corn and had it grinded out of which she prepared dough in a large rubber container. That night the door to the kitchen was not locked and in the morning we discovered that our dream of having banku that day would not materialise.
Well, I guess the wife of the thief was overjoyed because for two weeks corn-dough would not be a problem to her. She’d only have to “claim’ some okro and tuna and if the husband had been able to steal some crabs, then it must have been a festival.
Stealing has become a profession, albeit an infamous one. It is counter-productive to the progress of society and that is why thieves are enemies of mankind. You can be a millionaire but a thief can make you a penninaire in five seconds. For this reason, the idea of watch-dog committees became laudable sometime back and even now. It was even fashionable for communities to inaugurate their watch dog committees and swear to crush the balls of petty thieves and armed robbers.
But the question is whether some of these thief-catching committees are just existing in name or are really functioning?
I was just asking my younger brother, Edward Alomele, alias Alor, who is an Organising Secretary of a Watch- Dog Committee, what exactly they are doing to combat theft in the community. We are doing a lot,” he said
“But I’ve never seen you in action? I’ve never seen you attending meetings and organising strategies.
You’ve never attended patrols.”
Well, it is normal for everybody to defend the group he or she belongs to, and so I was not surprise that Original Alor, sorry Duplicate Alor, was trying to defend organisation.
“We are always alert and we normally do not advertise ourselves. All our members are always on the lookout for suspicious characters and you’ll be surprise that any thief who ventures would be caught,” he said
I wasn’t quite convinced, though. However, Alor is confident that the committee is alive and kicking. Perhaps, some logistics would make them a bit more revolutionary, and more aggressive (General Quainoo, please accept my apologies for now).
That also brings to mind the police, Ghanaian policemen, in spite of their numerous short-comings have been commended of late. They are breaking up criminal syndicates, but I guess that they would be more effective in dealing with robberies when they work hand-in-hand with watchdog committees.
I’ll recommend that all watchdog committees be re-inaugurated and revitalised and taught how to work better with the police. They must also be given incentives without which commitment to work will run down to zero. The committee members must also receive some sort of training to make them more disciplined and purposeful.
I guess it wasn’t only my mother’s corn-dough that has ended up in a thief-man’s cooking pot. Others too have suffered the loss of more valuable items like TV sets, car tyres, windscreen, cash, sound system and chamber-pots.
My former classmate, Kwame Korkorti, does not like thieves at all. He started hating them since 1961 when some palm-nut soup laden with goat meat his mother had prepared disappeared rather mysteriously from the coalpot. A thief quietly relieved the coalpot of its burden and made Korkorti’s stomach tumble and groan.
The article was first published of Saturday, October 16, 1993
Features
The Prophet part 4
Antobam woke up with a terrible headache. He checked the time on his mobile phone, 2:30 am. “What! Where is the money?” He asked aloud. “Where are those girls? Why did I drink so much of that whisky? What were those two girls up to?” He sat up on the bed and noticed a bulge close to the pillow.
He lifted the mattress and picked up the newspaper wrappers with the neatly arranged notes. He saw the neatly written record of the value of the notes. No, those girls are not thieves.
“It was my mistake. If I hadn’t drank myself to sleep they would be here in bed with me, giving me the time of my life. Pretty girls, those two. And so loyal and honest. Tomorrow will be different.”
“I will not drink any whisky, and I will show them that I am a real man. Just then he heard the whispers. Very soon it will be time, they seemed to be saying. This is an important day.”
The gold dealer will bring lots of money. Give him some of the liquid to drink, and we will prepare him. He will do very big business, and he will give you anything you ask for. There will be more miracles and testimonies today.
Antobam smiled to himself. “I am going to be a very rich man in only a few days man. Money, power, and women. Wow! Antobam got to the grounds at 5, but there were quite a number of people waiting.
Mr Kwame Dofu was among them. He greeted them all, and they came around to shake his hand. “My brothers and sisters, I assure you that whatever your problem is, you will not go home without a solution.” Shouts of “Amen” “thank” you Osofo and “you are a true man of God” responded.
“Please take your seats, and start talking to the great one about whatever bothers you. Before the service is over, there will be a solution.” He waved Mr Dofu over, and went with him to the wooden structure that serves as a temporary office.
“My brother, I have done quite a lot of work on the issue you came to see me about. I have prepared a special, powerful package for you. Take this, drink it, and go back to your business. I want to see you in two weeks.”
Beaming with smiles, Mr Dofu drank the foul smelling liquid in two gulps, said a big thank you to Antobam and took his leave. “I believe you, Papa Osofo. And I assure you that I will reward you, big time.”
Just when Osofo Antubam finished with Mr Dofu, Mary and Suzzie went over to him. “Good Morning ladies. I am very sorry about yesterday. I drank too much of the stuff you gave me. Today will be different, I assure you.”
“Don’t worry, Osofo. Since you are now setting things up, our main concern now is to help you to put things in place, and to make you comfortable. We are always there to serve you. This morning, Osofo, we want to go and clean up your place, and prepare something nice for you when you close.
And before coming to church, we will pass by the bank and collect the forms. After you have signed them, the account will be open. You can check the payments anytime and, of course, issue cheques whenever you need money.”
“Suzzie and Mary, I am happy I picked the two of you from the very start. Listen, I will take good care of you, okay? Here is some money. Buy whatever you need for the errands you have mentioned.
And here is the key. Please come back as early as you can. You know I need you here.” The service was very lively. The lively singing of praise songs was followed by one and a half hours of testimonies.
Most of them related to money – big sales, new jobs and overdue debts paid. But there were also testimonies about healing. Barren women had taken seed, and, of course, several men who had lost their bedroom authority had regained them, to the delight of their partners.
As he had promised, Antobam preached for only 30 minutes, exhorting the congregation to attend church regularly, pay their tithes and offerings, and strictly follow his ‘directions’ for securing solutions to their problems.
After another round of praises during which the congregation danced to the floor to drop their offering, he closed the service, grabbed the big bowl which was full to the brim with money, and moved to his desk. A long queue was quickly formed at the desk.
Meanwhile, Mary and Suzzie had gone to give Antobam’s place quite a decent look. A new bedsheet and pillows, a secondhand carpet and four plastic chairs placed in the verandah had done the trick.
They also prepared two fish and chicken stews. After all these, they rushed to the National Savings Bank and collected application forms for opening current and savings accounts.
They joined the service a few minutes before the main session closed. Antobam looked round and saw, to his relief, Mary and Suzzie moving towards him. “Hello ladies. What have you been up to?” “Quite a bit, Osofo. We’ve just collected your drink. Here you are. We’ve made a few changes at your place. I think you will like it. You will also have something nice to eat. Now, here are the forms for the savings and current accounts.
If you will sign them, the bank will open the account. From today, we can pay all monies direct into the account.” ‘How can I thank you, ladies?” “You don’t need to thank us,” Suzzie said. “It is our duty to help a man of God succeed.” “Okay, my ladies, please take the offerings and count them as you did yesterday.
You can add the payments made after the consultations. Will it be possible to pay them into the account today?” “Yes,” Mary said. “The bank closes at four. If we leave here at three, we would be there just in time.”
The two friends started counting, as Osofo Antobam gave his clients his directions for solving their problems. On quite a few occasions he closed his eyes as if he was receiving direction from above on what to do.
But as the fetish priest at the Nana Kofi Broni shrine and the dwarfs had assured him, the solutions would certainly be provided. Having heard the huge testimonies earlier in the day, the clients parted with substantial sums of money in expectation.
By Ekow de Heer
Features
The issue of spiritual father in our churches
A student was supposed to go to school as the natural cause of events should be when universities or schools in general opens but this was not the case in a certain young man’s life.
He decided to postpone his trip because apparently he could not get to meet his pastor, his spiritual father. The question is, should this spiritual father die, will the young man’s life come to an end?
Does it mean in such an instance, he is going to curtail his education? This is a worrying trend in a lot of churches where the pastors use this notion of spiritual father to manipulate members especially the youth.
Some unscrupulous pastors utilise this spiritual father concept to have affairs with gullible young ladies in their churches.
Now with homosexuality gradually making inroads into some of the churches, young men are becoming vulnerable to pastors who have hidden homosexual inclinations.
This spiritual father concept is a Biblical concept that runs through both the Old Testament as well as the New Testament. We see it in 2 Kings 4:12 where Gehazi is serving Elisha and also in the New Testament we see Paul relating to Timothy in 1 Timothy 1:2 as a Spiritual Father.
In fact, the concept of spiritual father is a good thing if executed according to the word of God since it helps in guiding the younger ones. However, it becomes problematic when it is being executed by unscrupulous wolves in sheepskins as described by Jesus in Mathew 7:15.
I see it as a way that these unscrupulous so-called men of God maintain their hold on the congregants so they do not question their unchristian actions.
One of the things I have observed since I got born again many years ago is that, any pastor who often insists that members recognise that he is their spiritual father is a warning sign that he is doing some wrong things or is about to indulge in some wrong things.
A parent complained about how his daughter was being influenced by a pastor of the church she attends and how worried he was. I am sure there are many parents out there with stories to tell about how their wards are being made to see their pastors almost like their Jesus.
These pastors have managed to make their congregants so loyal to them and to believe in them so much that it is terrifying, as a parent.
The way things are going, an immediate intervention is required otherwise I am not a prophet of doom but I forsee unfortunate instances where parents burst into church auditoriums and star shooting some Pastors out of frustration and anger.
We cannot look on unconcerned as a society and allow unscrupulous fraudsters using the name of God to create problems for families. My recommendation is for a certain amount of regulation in order to bring some sanity in religious practices.
I agree that ordinarily regulating religious practices makes it a bit restrictive in terms of freedom of worship as enshrined in our constitution but given the way things are going, a bit of regulation will not be out of place.
Disgusting stuff are being attributed to some men of God. There are cases of manipulation of young ladies and sometimes married women by so called men of God and it is bringing Christianity and therefore the name of the Lord into disrepute.
Christianity is gradually losing its attractiveness as a result of the negative reportage resulting from disgusting stuff happening in Christian circles. The way some pastors have been manipulating congregants to take money from them leaves much to be desired to the point where they are convincing some of the youth to give out their phones. May God help us.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah