Obaa Yaa
I am confused in life
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady in my early 30s. I had a child with someone but my parents did not approve our being together.
Three years down the line, I met another guy and I told him everything and he agreed to be with me and promised to marry me and stand by me.
After a year of dating, I got pregnant for him then he went to see my parents and promised them that after I had put to bed, he will come and marry me.
I have lived with him since my pregnancy and have done everything a woman does for her man but he keeps postponing the marriage rites.
Our child is a year and six months old now and he still has not said a word about performing the marriage rites.
We have been together for three years now.
What do I do please? I do not want to make the same mistake I made with my first child.
Sylvia, Amasaman.
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Dear Sylvia,
I want to commend your second boyfriend for staying with you throughout the period of pregnancy.
For a man to accept someone’s child as his own and still love you was a good thing and must be applauded for it.
I would advise you to be calm, take your time and just pray to God.
It can be that your husband-to-be is preparing himself well in terms of finance. You know marriage entails a lot in terms of finances because he needs to prepare for settle bride price and other marital demands for you to become his wife.
Don’t be in a rush for him to marry you now and not have money to take care of the home.
Approach him with a calm tone to know his mind, how things are going with the preparations and why he keeps postponing the dates.
You would not know his mind unless you ask him. Back your issues and problems with prayers and I believe everything would go on well successfully.
Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t respect her mother
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my girlfriend at home, and I was a witness to a hot exchange between her and the mother.
In fact, my girl used such words on the mother that I was compelled to hit her to keep her quiet. She later told me that her mother made her to behave like that.
The surprising thing is that she seemed to be such a respectful person, and was always very polite to my mother and even help her in the kitchen when she visits me.
I have told her in plain language that our relationship is off, but she keeps begging and she has even promised not to quarrel with her mother again.
But I can’t forget the scene I saw and the fact is that, it was not the first time.
Do you think she can change?
I love her, but I want my children to have a respectful mother.
Agbesi, keta.
Dear Agbesi,
LET me say this to you, you took the right decision in ending the relationship because she might not change. However, that is for her to work it out, so don’t let it be your problem.
Even the Bible in Exodus 20:12 has a lot to say against children who are disrespectful to their parents.
You are lucky you found out in time the sort of person she is.
Obaa Yaa
He wants me to be his cousin
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I got married shortly after we completed senior high school. My mother then bought a ticket for him to go abroad where he went and stayed with my brother.
He went through some kind of marriage over there in order to get a good job, or so he said, and he asked me to be patient.
A few weeks ago, my husband wrote to say that he was coming home with his wife, and that I should pretend to be a cousin. I also heard they have a child.
I can’t do what he wants me to, even though everyone, including my mother thinks I should.
And I don’t want to be his wife only when he comes home. I want to join him over there because that was the arrangement.
Akweley, Accra
Dear Akweley,
Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. If you can’t pretend, then don’t try.When you meet your husband, it is important to let him know how you feel about the arrangement.
And you will have to come to an agreement as to whether or not you want to continue with your marriage.
Whatever decision you come up to will not be easy for you, but do make sure that it is what is best for you.
• Kwabena kwabena in
