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Obaa Yaa

I am confused in life

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young lady in my early 30s. I had a child with someone but my parents did not approve our being together.

Three years down the line, I met another guy and I told him everything and he agreed to be with me and promised to marry me and stand by me.

After a year of dating, I got pregnant for him then he went to see my parents and promised them that after I had put to bed, he will come and marry me.

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I have lived with him since my pregnancy and have done everything a woman does for her man but he keeps postponing the mar­riage rites.

Our child is a year and six months old now and he still has not said a word about per­forming the marriage rites.

We have been together for three years now.

What do I do please? I do not want to make the same mistake I made with my first child.

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Sylvia, Amasaman.

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Dear Sylvia,

I want to commend your second boyfriend for staying with you throughout the period of pregnancy.

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For a man to accept someone’s child as his own and still love you was a good thing and must be applauded for it.

I would advise you to be calm, take your time and just pray to God.

It can be that your husband-to-be is preparing himself well in terms of finance. You know marriage entails a lot in terms of finances because he needs to prepare for settle bride price and other marital demands for you to become his wife.

Don’t be in a rush for him to marry you now and not have money to take care of the home.

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Approach him with a calm tone to know his mind, how things are going with the preparations and why he keeps postponing the dates.

You would not know his mind unless you ask him. Back your issues and problems with prayers and I believe everything would go on well successfully.

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Obaa Yaa

Under pressure from family to marry

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.

It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.

Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.

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Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.

Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?

Akwasi.

Dear Akwasi,

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MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.

You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.

No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.

Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.

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Obaa Yaa

He forcibly kissed me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.

Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.

He is very kind, lovely, faith­ful, caring, humble and God-fear­ing.

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We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.

One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forci­bly kissed me.

Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.

Should I go on with this rela­tionship?

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Annora, Sunyani.

Dear Anora,

YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.

Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.

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He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship be­cause of the incident that hap­pened.

If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.

If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.

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