Obaa Yaa
I cannot date him
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am 28 years old and it has always been my dream to marry before 30 years.
I met this guy who loves me and I loved him too, but I think I cannot date him.
The guy is so caring, loving and he has all the qualities I need in my future husband.
Unfortunately, l had an affair with his work colleague a year ago. Though, that affair between me and the gentleman has ended, l feel like I cannot continue to date him.
I haven’t told him about the affair because I don’t know how to go about it and I’m scared of how he would react.
We have known each other for months and l feel like telling him but l can’t help myself because it will hurt him so much.
Though l love this gentleman, the fact that I can’t date him kills me slowly. My heart is in pains because I love him and I feel like l have betrayed him.
Please, should I go ahead and tell him?
Lucy, Accra.
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Dear Lucy,
There is no need crying over spilt milk. You willingly went in for that secret affair despite the fact that you claimed you loved him.
Your behaviour suggests you cannot stand the least pressure in your relationship and this could create serious problems for you.
If you really love him, under no circumstance should you have betrayed his trust. All the same, the harm has already been done but you must make conscious effort not to repeat that mistake.
This is the time for you to redouble your love for him. You need to make sure he plays a centre stage in your life.
What has happened should serve as a warning and a guide throughout your relationship.
Since you can guess his reaction if you should tell him, keep it to yourself and let this serve as a warning and guide for you throughout your relationship.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.
