Obaa Yaa
I lost my virginity to my relative
My father is loving, caring and his greatest desire is not only to develop the human resource base of his children, but to enable the youth in the family reach appreciable levels in education.
Irrespective of this laudable intention of my father, I lost my virginity to one relative of mine when l was 14 years old.
My parents used to travel on business trips for about two weeks every three months, during which we were left under the care of our relatives who were older than us.
This elderly relative of mine behaved as though he loved me and had my welfare at heart, not knowing behind his charming smiles and seemingly caring nature was a sinister motive to put me to bed at all cost.
Being an elderly relative who knew much about life and was sexually active, he succeeded in luring me into an active sex life.
Surprisingly, though l am now 23 years old and in the university, he still made attempts to seduce me into having an affair with him.
Since l now resist his diabolical advances, he complains vehemently about whatever l do and resorts to telling lies about me to my parents. He has been able to influence my parents to believe in his part of the narrative, for which reason my parents often blame me for trying to be a naughty girl.
He has discouraged my boyfriend from visiting me with the reason that l am too young and inexperienced to be in a relationship.
I would like to report his conduct to my mother, but l am scared about my parents’ reaction when they hear of this and the likelihood that my father will withdraw the assistance he has been giving him and sack him from the house.
Kindly assist me with an answer to enable me make a decision before the worse happens.
What step should l take in order to deal with this problem?
Mercy, Odumase Krobo.
Dear Mercy,
You must know that your moral life is at stake because of the secret relationship between you and your relative.
The fear is that the frequency of sexual acts between the two of you has the tendency of making you think that the illicit relationship is normal, while it increases your sexual appetite.
As a student in a tertiary institution, you are no longer a child but a matured person who is capable of taking your destiny into your own hands.
This is an abominable act which must be condemned by all and failure to act now will result in consequences you will grow to regret later.
This is an opportune time for you to halt this unhealthy practice before pregnancy sets in to further set the family apart.
You can imagine how enraged your parents would be when they discover this unhealthy relationship between the two of you. Be informed that you will get a fair share of the blame when they get to know.
Your relative must control his libido, know better and should not abuse the good intention of your father and pay him back this way.
Report his conduct to your parents before it is too late.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.
